80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?

heatherborg · June 2012

Our reception is in the ballroom of this old farmhouse-converted into a huge ballroom/party room in CT.

We are thinking of doing some high-top tables, and a few large round tables, totallying about 80 seats. Plus some other seats at the bar (there is a large mahogany bar in the room too).

I always see so many empty seats at weddings, so I'm hoping this is ok. Everyone (my parents, caterer, family, fiance, seem to think this is ok). I think it should be fine - just wondering if anyone has seen this before?

We are NOT doing a full plated/seated dinner. We are having stations of lots of finger foods, apps, small sandwiches, etc.

~H

shanding4787 · June 2012

Nope. You need to have seats for every person invited.

HobokensFury · June 2012

No it's not ok. Everyone needs a seat.

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:44eea1ec-efc8-4986-9e14-1f4d003c6c6f">80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]Our reception is in the ballroom of this old farmhouse-converted into a huge ballroom/party room in CT. We are thinking of doing some high-top tables, and a few large round tables, totallying about 80 seats. Plus some other seats at the bar (there is a large mahogany bar in the room too). I always see so many empty seats at weddings, so I'm hoping this is ok. Everyone (my parents, caterer, family, fiance, seem to think this is ok). I think it should be fine - just wondering if anyone has seen this before? We are NOT doing a full plated/seated dinner. We are having stations of lots of finger foods, apps, small sandwiches, etc. ~H
Posted by heatherborg[/QUOTE]

Bad, bad, bad idea. You'll have some upset guests and far less mingling than you hope because people will plant their buckets in a chair and stay there all night for fear that someone else will take their spot.

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

Plus, the poor people who aren't lucky enough to land a seat at a table will have to juggle their plate, glass, and personal belongings all night. It is no fun to eat while standing.

GoodLuckBear14 · June 2012

No. You see empty seats at weddings because guests know they will have someplace to sit when they get back from dancing or mingling.

Maggie0829 · June 2012

Every single butt at your wedding should have a seat, no matter what!

ncwenze · June 2012

i agree with all the other posters. i went to a wedding like this (similar rustic barn like setting) that didnt have enough seats...it was pretty awful and put me in a bad mood.

RamonaFlowers · June 2012

A chair for every butt, every time. Anything less is horribly rude.

heatherborg · June 2012

Thanks for your VERY friendly responses! You all seem like such wonderful people! God help your husbands!!

:-D

heatherborg · June 2012

According to: http://www.myneworleans.com/New-Orleans-Bride/Summer-2012/All-of-your-wedding-etiquette-questions-answered-/

Our wedding is in the late afternoon, so our reception is cocktail-style. What kind and how much seating do I need to provide?

With a cocktail reception you want to have fewer seats than guests to encourage mingling. The usual ratio is to have seats for 50 percent of the total number of guests that you expect to attend. But don’t forget about your older guests; you don’t want them to have to leave early because they need to sit down.

HobokensFury · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:9ed786b0-03df-4cfb-8e75-19dc6162d98e">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for your VERY friendly responses! You all seem like such wonderful people! God help your husbands!! :-D
Posted by heatherborg[/QUOTE]

Aren't you a peach.

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

If you asked etiquette experts, you would get different advice. The flaw in that advice is that the elderly are not the only ones in need of a seat. You might have pregnant women there or other guests with back or knee issues. Health aside, it's really nice to have a place to call "home" for the duration of the party. It puts your guests much more in a party mood.

GoodLuckBear14 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:9ed786b0-03df-4cfb-8e75-19dc6162d98e">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for your VERY friendly responses! You all seem like such wonderful people! <strong>God help your husbands</strong>!! :-D
Posted by heatherborg[/QUOTE]

Really?

aragx6 · June 2012

Sorry we didn't validate your idea, but you would do well to listen. Going to a wedding and having no where to put your purse or your jacket and nowhere to eat is the opposite of fun. A gracious host provides seats for all the guests. Period.

Maggie0829 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:9ed786b0-03df-4cfb-8e75-19dc6162d98e">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for your VERY friendly responses! You all seem like such wonderful people! God help your husbands!! :-D
Posted by heatherborg[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]According to: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.myneworleans.com/New-Orleans-Bride/Summer-2012/All-of-your-wedding-etiquette-questions-answered-/"><u><font color="#0000ff">http://www.myneworleans.com/New-Orleans-Bride/Summer-2012/All-of-your-wedding-etiquette-questions-answered-/</font></u></a>

<strong>Our wedding is in the late afternoon, so our reception is cocktail-style. What kind and how much seating do I need to provide?</strong>

<em>With a cocktail reception you want to have fewer seats than guests to encourage mingling. The usual ratio is to have seats for 50 percent of the total number of guests that you expect to attend. But don’t forget about your older guests; you don’t want them to have to leave early because they need to sit down.</em>[/QUOTE]

Then why did you even ask the question if you already had your "answer"? What a waste of time.

GoodLuckBear14 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:464fe81e-5984-4732-a048-31a2b5e759e4">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone? : Then why did you even ask the question if you already had your "answer"? What a waste of time.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Because deep down OP knows that this is wrong and wanted us to tell her that it is okay.

RamonaFlowers · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:9ed786b0-03df-4cfb-8e75-19dc6162d98e">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for your VERY friendly responses! You all seem like such wonderful people! God help your husbands!! :-D
Posted by heatherborg[/QUOTE]

You asked if it was okay, people told you it's not, because it isn't. How are we horrible people who's husbands deserve your pity again?

How's this: I'm offended by your inability to handle a little constructive criticism without flying off the handle. God help YOUR fiance.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

You obviously just wanted your idea validated, but you won't get it here.

FWIW, I am not elderly nor handicapped nor pregnant, but I STILL want a seat at a wedding. I usually always wear heels and don't feel like standing all night; plus as others mentioned, it is not comfortable at all to try and eat while standing and juggling your clutch, drink etc. People WILL stay seated all evening for fear of losing their seat, and you will have many duck out early who were not lucky enough to get a seat.

No one was rude. Your response was very immature and you will probably just do what you want anyway, so why even post and ask for responses? Oh yeah, you know deep down it's a crappy idea and just want validation for it. Do what you want, OP, but you are going to greatly piss off your guests if you do this.

QueerFemme · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:33a35737-287f-430a-96b7-a552f36a3a8c">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]According to: <a href="http://www.myneworleans.com/New-Orleans-Bride/Summer-2012/All-of-your-wedding-etiquette-questions-answered-/" rel="nofollow">http://www.myneworleans.com/New-Orleans-Bride/Summer-2012/All-of-your-wedding-etiquette-questions-answered-/</a> Our wedding is in the late afternoon, so our reception is cocktail-style. What kind and how much seating do I need to provide? With a cocktail reception you want to have fewer seats than guests to encourage mingling. The usual ratio is to have seats for 50 percent of the total number of guests that you expect to attend. But don’t forget about your older guests; you don’t want them to have to leave early because they need to sit down.
Posted by heatherborg[/QUOTE]

Whoever wrote this is an idiot. No matter what type of reception is, there needs to be a seat for every person, all the time. I find it completely ridiculous that you asked a question, and didn't get the response you were hoping for, and then decided to go out searching for someone else to validate your horrible idea.

Invite 80 people, or find a way to supply more chairs.

monkeysip · June 2012

Wow, OP.

Besides all the many good points posted by pps, you also must consider that there are many gentlemen who might need to sit down but will not sit if ladies are still standing.

I think the most important point, however, is that it sucks when you don't have a "home base" seat to put your purse, drink, etc. It sucks having to stand.

Do you want your guests to be uncomfortable?

You don't need to deprive people of seats to encourage mingling.

HobokensFury · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:cbadce8c-c483-45b3-aebe-4bf411c3b938">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]What is it with all the young, entitled princess-brides on the Knot this week?
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

Must be all the prom and hs graduation proposals.

annie912 · June 2012

No one was mean to you. You asked a question, you got an answer. If you can't handle getting an answer you might not want to hear, don't ask the question. Otherwise, put on your big girl panties and take the advice that is being given to you instead of pouting because you didn't get the answer you wanted.

kmmssg · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:33a35737-287f-430a-96b7-a552f36a3a8c">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]According to: <a href="http://www.myneworleans.com/New-Orleans-Bride/Summer-2012/All-of-your-wedding-etiquette-questions-answered-/" rel="nofollow">http://www.myneworleans.com/New-Orleans-Bride/Summer-2012/All-of-your-wedding-etiquette-questions-answered-/</a> Our wedding is in the late afternoon, so our reception is cocktail-style. What kind and how much seating do I need to provide? With a cocktail reception you want to have fewer seats than guests to encourage mingling. The usual ratio is to have seats for 50 percent of the total number of guests that you expect to attend. But don’t forget about your older guests; you don’t want them to have to leave early because they need to sit down.
Posted by heatherborg[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>this is a VERY bad idea, I don't care where you got it. When there is limited seating, people stay put in the seat they have so no one can take it. It DISCOURAGES mingling. Been there, seen it, and I left when I had no where to set my things, no where to put my drink while I tried to balance my plate. Come to think of it, I had to balance my little cocktail plate on top of my glass.</div><div>
</div><div>It is a bad bad bad idea. And don't worry, we all feel sorry for our husbands already. We have that covered.

</div>

kmmssg · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:230be80f-aa71-45db-b995-eda8d50d24a6">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone? : this is a VERY bad idea, I don't care where you got it. When there is limited seating, people stay put in the seat they have so no one can take it. It DISCOURAGES mingling. Been there, seen it, and I left when I had no where to set my things, no where to put my drink while I tried to balance my plate. Come to think of it, I had to balance my little cocktail plate on top of my glass. It is a bad bad bad idea. And don't worry, we all feel sorry for our husbands already. We have that covered.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Edit to add: come to think of it, we left before they even cut the cake because we were incredibly pisssed off at having no where to sit, or keep our things.

</div>

kate&cor2012 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:6e918c70-1392-401b-a731-5d508eefd469">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]You obviously just wanted your idea validated, but you won't get it here. FWIW, I am not elderly nor handicapped nor pregnant, but I STILL want a seat at a wedding.<strong> I usually always wear heels and don't feel like standing all night; plus as others mentioned, it is not comfortable at all to try and eat while standing and juggling your clutch, drink etc.</strong> People WILL stay seated all evening for fear of losing their seat, and you will have many duck out early who were not lucky enough to get a seat. No one was rude. Your response was very immature and you will probably just do what you want anyway, so why even post and ask for responses? Oh yeah, you know deep down it's a crappy idea and just want validation for it. Do what you want, OP, but you are going to greatly piss off your guests if you do this.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

Exactly this! A wedding I was at recently did the same thing the OP wants to do and it was horrible. My feet were throbbing, I was p!ssed and I couldn't dance, my heavy purse and coat was killing me (eventually went and put it in the car) There were no tables set aside for the wedding party (my fiance was in the wedding) AND the majority of the food was gone by the time the wedding party got there, thank frig for the late night snack! OP, the cocktail reception is good in theory but rarely works out because brides do it wrong by having it at the wrong time, underestimating the amount of food and not providing enough seating. My FSIL had a cocktail reception and it sucked until the dancing started due to all the aforementioned reasons.

martind1 · June 2012

Wow, I'm shocked at the responses. I had thought the knot was a helpful & friendly place!

I'm very srprised at everyone who is saying "need", "must" & "have to". You are the people who have a narrow view of weddings and are the reason this wedding beast has been created!

The beauty of a wedding is it can be whatever the bride and groom decide it to be. There are no set rules and you can do whatever you want.

As far as the cocktail reception goes I don't see anything wrong with it. I recently went to a 60th birthday party and there were ~100 guests and I doubt there were more than 6-8 tables there. People survived. At my company christmas party there was 1100-1500 people (I think RSVP number was closer to 1500 but I don't think all showed) and there was no way there were more than seating for 500. That didn't include several hightops scattered around the part which, while not having seats, allowed you a place to put your drink and/or plate while you talked.

I haven't been to cocktail style wedding before but if done right, I can't see why it wouldn't fail. Unless of course all your guests are like the people on this board who seem very set in their ways about how a wedding must be!

martind1 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:c15549b9-3404-4086-ada0-72d313ed06cb">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was p!ssed and I couldn't dance, my heavy purse and coat was killing me (eventually went and put it in the car) There were no tables set aside for the wedding party (my fiance was in the wedding) AND the majority of the food was gone by the time the wedding party got there, thank frig for the late night snack! ... My FSIL had a cocktail reception and it sucked until the dancing started due to all the aforementioned reasons.
Posted by kate&cor2012[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>They didn't have a place for you to put your purse or coat? That's true, that is short sighted. Why did the wedding party take so long to get there? Or was it just that little amount of food? You gotta still feed the people! Any wedding without enough food is going to be ruined! I always hate when there aren't a lot of apps. Those are usually much better than the run-of-the-mill chicken or beef!!

</div>

DeClue82 · June 2012

I completely understand where you are coming from. Since you are having an appetizer style dinner it seems like it would be ok to make it more of a lounge/bar atmosphere. But I do have to agree with some of the PP (who were more polite about it anyway) that it is really nice to have a seat for the night. I know I sit down for dinner then I'm on the dance floor all night... but if I need my phone, camera, purse, I know where to go to get it!

You know your guests though, so you need to make the final call on this...if you have a coat check/bag check that might solve some of the problems too..

Reid222 · June 2012

I think it should be fine, depending on the crowd. For example, I know that my family is always out on the dance floor. Plus, with the standard rule that 15-20% of your guests will decline, it is likely that you're looking at a guest list of 120-130 as opposed to 150.

Just do what you have planned with the seating/tables for 80, and maybe some comfy lounge furniture. I think the wedding sounds like fun!

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_80-seats-for-150-guests-is-it-ok-not-to-have-seating-for-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:0bb8470c-06e8-41a0-9443-a509552bd89fPost:d5a1be04-75bb-41a7-bbf0-d7353442fc94">Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone? : They didn't have a place for you to put your purse or coat? That's true, that is short sighted. Why did the wedding party take so long to get there? Or was it just that little amount of food? <strong>You gotta still feed the people! Any wedding without enough food is going to be ruined! I always hate when there aren't a lot of apps. </strong>Those are usually much better than the run-of-the-mill chicken or beef!!
Posted by martind1[/QUOTE]

Hmm so in the food thread on this board, you give the exact opposite advice of this. It's becoming more obvious that you are trolling and purposely giving the opposite advice of the majority of posters in a thread just to get things riled up. Otherwise, you wouldn't give contradicting advice in two different threads. Why would this bride need to feed everyone, but the bride in the other thread doesn't need to?

80 seats for 150 guests? Is it ok not to have seating for everyone?

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