Pre-wedding Parties

Shower Problems

Sorry this is a little long, and I'm a first time poster so sorry if I made any mistakes!

A little background: FH and I moved to PA from MN this past summer, I'm a med student. Wedding is next July, the only time we're going to be home before the wedding is around Christmas (I don't get any other breaks from school and he works). My mom is a planner. She realized early on that the only oppertunity for showers would be Christmas time so she made sure to let anyone she thought might be throwing a shower (MOH and FMIL) know that Christmas time would be the best time. MOH is excited to plan shower over Christmas (I didn't ask her, force her, make her feel like she had to in any way). FMIL had been planning shower over spring break (which I don't have) so decided that instead of throwing her own shower for FH's family she would combine with my mom's for my family.

So far we're all good, 2 showers around Christmas, one for friends thrown by MOH (and my mom is helping) other shower thrown by mom for both families. Only problem is my mom told FMIL about MOH's shower. FMIL told FSIL about both showers and now FSIL is planning on attending friend shower since she will be out of town for family shower (some out of town family is coming for shower so date is already set, friend shower is narrowed down to a weekend). The only people I was planning on having invited to both showers was both MOH's (my friend and sister). FSIL is BM but other BMs were only going to be invited to either family or friend shower.

FSIL is not my favorite person, I get along with her just fine but I think of her as the queen of everything. She is FH's only sibling and as the oldest and only one with kids she gets to dictate everything in their family and always gets her way. She is used to being the center of attention and can be very rude making sure she remains center of attention (I don't think I've ever gotten an entire comment out without her interupting me to tell me what she thinks, how she feels, what she wants, etc.) Because of all this (and the fact that she is at least 10 years older than anyone else invited to shower and won't know anyone and I think would be rather uncomfortable) I was not planning on inviting her to friend shower. 

Is there any way to un-invite her to a shower she was never going to be invited to in the first place, or do I just need to suck it up and go with it?
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Re: Shower Problems

  • Suck it up.  In the big scheme of things this is not even a blip on the radar.  Let it go.
  • I think you have to suck it up and go with it. Dealing with her at family gatherings is probably going to be different in a group of young friends. Who knows maybe she’ll hit it off with one of your gf’s.


    You’ll be able to ignore her since you’ll have plenty of other stuff going on to keep you busy.

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Usually the moms,MOH, bms and sisters of the bride and groom recieve courtesy invites to all showers, so I can see why she thought the friends shower would be an option for her. I agree with pps that you should suck it up.
                       
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