Sigh. I don't know if I posted about my best friend and her bridezilla/unrealistic friend expectations lately.
Back story -
She got engaged Dec '08 and is getting married April '10. We been best friends for almost 15 years. We went to school together in Maryland. This summer they moved to SF and we now live about 1.5 hours from each other.
Before Thanksgiving, we were supposed to go bridesmaid dress shopping. She got the swine flu the week before. She stayed home from work Monday-Thursday. We had a big weekend planned. She and another bridesmaid were supposed to stay at our house for the weekend. I told her that I didn't feel comfortable seeing her due to us trying to get pregnant. I couldn't risk getting the swine flu. She got really mad at me and wrote a crazy email. It somewhat blew over and another weekend was planned. Then, her FSIL screwed that one up.
Fast Forward to Thanksgiving - she and her FI came to my in-laws that weekend. I find out that part of the reason she went BSC on me was that she hates her FI's work schedule. They had a big fight the night I told her that I couldn't risk getting the swine flu. We had a great time that weekend. Everything seemed fine.
When I called her on Monday to tell her that I was pregnant, she was less than enthused. She almost sounded disappointed. Then, she brought up us coming to the city for NYE and that they are probably hanging out with FSIL and her DH. I said that I wasn't sure due to DH traveling a lot of the week and how tired I have been. She gets even more down. DH and I had both lived in big cities for awhile. We made the choice to move away from them for a reason. We are just over it. On the weekend, the last thing we want to do is go to SF and deal with the craziness. I really don't want to do anything big on NYE due to not drinking and just generally being really tired. Plus I really don't want to spend the night on a couch.
I feel like she is mad at me for getting pregnant, and even before that for getting married and putting my husband/us first. She is very much not ready to have kids/unsure if she ever will. She even told her FSIL (who is 32) that she has to wait to get pregnant. (And yes, I told her she was being really rude.)
I love her. She is like a sister to me. However, I feel like she expects our relationship to stay the same forever. DH said he will rally and go to SF for NYE because he knows she really wants to see me. I told him that I just don't want to go there but that they are more than welcome to come here. We have 2 extra bedrooms with actual beds. I know she is going to decline and then blame us not seeing each other on me.
I feel like I am being punished for going on with my life. My husband and our relationship comes first. She is getting married soon, shouldn't she understand this? What would you do?