Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges

nicoleg1982 · December 2011

Words to live by, Min.

MinM · December 2011

Werd.

I'd be pissed if H made that decision for the both of us.

That type of decision requires a conversation and mutual decision making.

She's be screwed if she were in my position. The rug keeps getting pulled out from under us on so many accounts....you have to adapt.

murmist01 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inspired-re-post-poll-of-normal-women-normal-procreative-urges?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ffbf1bc9-6fde-4e63-bd08-4af7b61b1392Post:210effe5-9b0d-4a98-84d4-4a7bc8d0cc71">Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges</a>:
[QUOTE]"One person shouldn't be making decisions for both, but both parties should allow for some variance from the original plan, because sometime the plan just is no longer practical. " EXACTLY. also,<strong> i wonder if her plan would change at all if she found out they couldn't have children. we all have plans. then they sometimes change to accomodate real life.
</strong>Posted by Wifezzilla[/QUOTE]

H and I always wanted 2, now we are dealing with secondary infertility, should he leave me because I am having problems conceiving? And we also need to condiser the fact that my RE will only do 3 IUIs then we have to move on to IVF, and I don't know if I want to do that.

Changin your mind should not be divorce worthy. What is divorce worthy, is not being able to adapt to what is happening now in your life.

seesawgirl · December 2011

I get the being upset that he changed his mind, but really that is not a divorce worthy issue.

My FI and I are discussing the whens and ifs of childbearing, and given that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, we will be lucky to have one child.

I grew up in an abusive family, where siblings were pitted against each other, there was a lot of jealousy, etc, so my experience with siblings is just...meh.

FI on the other hand, has one younger sister whom he adores. He thinks having a younger sister made him the man he is, and that single children are spoiled and selfish- and there are many, many people who feel the same way, that it is neccessary to have at least 2 kids, so that they learn to take turns, that life doesn't always go their way, etc.

I consider it my job as a parent to teach those concepts, regardless of their sibling status, and I would like the experience of bonding with a single child, not having to split my energy between more....but that's just me.

Maybe this mother just doesn't feel like her child can be a well rounded adult someday, without the sibling experience...?

ReturnOfKuus · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inspired-re-post-poll-of-normal-women-normal-procreative-urges?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ffbf1bc9-6fde-4e63-bd08-4af7b61b1392Post:3053400a-f10d-4066-9824-75ce94dc6cf2">Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges</a>:
[QUOTE] He thinks having a younger sister made him the man he is, and that single children are spoiled and selfish- and there are many, many people who feel the same way, that it is neccessary to have at least 2 kids, so that they learn to take turns, that life doesn't always go their way, etc. I consider it my job as a parent to teach those concepts, regardless of their sibling status...
Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that always chaps my ass. How about, you know, raising your kids with values instead of hoping that their siblings will pick up your slack?

MinM · December 2011

And sometimes siblings are useless sacks of crap that you are saddled with for your entire life. They aren't always frickin' gifts.

hmonkey · December 2011

[QUOTE]And sometimes siblings are useless sacks of crap that you are saddled with for your entire life. They aren't always frickin' gifts.
Posted by MinM[/QUOTE]

YES. i love it when people are "oh, they will be playmates." what if they hate each other, either now or now AND as adults?

seesawgirl · December 2011

Yeah, that always chaps my ass. How about, you know, raising your kids with values instead of hoping that their siblings will pick up your slack?

Exactly!

I mean, I get what they're saying, but YOU should be the first person to tell your child no. If you're spending time with your kids, you don't ALWAYS need to do what they want to do. Tell them, "No, its Mommy's turn to do something fun, we're going to go get pedicures today, instead of going to Chuck-E-Cheese."

It teaches the EXACT same concept, AND, you might actually not go bonkers being a parent if you *gasp* take time for yourself! Kills two birds with one stone.

6fsn · December 2011

I have nothing new to add, but it needs to be said again that the husband in Min's story needs to be punched in the junk so hard he can't father any more.

MrsMyrtle · December 2011

I wonder what the Duggars would think of all this...

nicoleg1982 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inspired-re-post-poll-of-normal-women-normal-procreative-urges?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ffbf1bc9-6fde-4e63-bd08-4af7b61b1392Post:83850ffe-9829-4806-8736-dc73ce384ab6">Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges</a>:
[QUOTE]I wonder what the Duggars would<strong><u> think</u></strong> of all this...
Posted by MrsMyrtle[/QUOTE]

<div>
Clearly, they stopped doing that long ago.</div>

MinM · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inspired-re-post-poll-of-normal-women-normal-procreative-urges?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ffbf1bc9-6fde-4e63-bd08-4af7b61b1392Post:e3d507f5-46cc-465e-b603-68882d80b2dd">Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges</a>:
[QUOTE]who cares. she is a rude idiot. no one has to agree with her, but she does have the right to file for divorce if she wants to. it's not my place to tell her she isn;t allowed to ask for a divorce because he changed his mind. it doesn't mean it's the right decision, but it's not my decision to make. and maybe the guy would be better off without her.
Posted by Wifezzilla[/QUOTE]

And maybe she can find someone to knock her up 23 more times.

seesawgirl · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inspired-re-post-poll-of-normal-women-normal-procreative-urges?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ffbf1bc9-6fde-4e63-bd08-4af7b61b1392Post:719ac242-2f9c-4a30-add9-f4fea5356616">Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges : Clearly, they stopped doing that long ago.
Posted by nicoleg1982[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Omahgawsh...I live in AR, about 20 miles from where that herd resides. I used to work security for a used car auction that the oldest son would buy and sell cars through...I have never met a more dimwitted individual in my life. Seriously, we had to continually ask him to NOT walk in the lanes that the cars were being driven through for the auction. </div><div>I also run into them at local thrift shops, and the girls are all the snobbiest teens I have ever met. Whatever character their parents were trying to instill in them by homeschooling, (and having lots of siblings) has been lost by putting them all on that stupid TV show. </div>

hmonkey · December 2011

how do you know that's not the way their parents raised them? DO NOT PUT THE BLAME ON TV.

really, how dare you.

seesawgirl · December 2011

You are right, TV has been the innocent bystander in all of this. *bows head in shame*

Its just an assumption on my part, because the mother is actually quite sweet, (to your face at least.) The girls just stand around primping and posing.

MinM · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inspired-re-post-poll-of-normal-women-normal-procreative-urges?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ffbf1bc9-6fde-4e63-bd08-4af7b61b1392Post:da6112a2-b55c-436a-8bfb-797d708fe219">Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges</a>:
[QUOTE]You are right, TV has been the innocent bystander in all of this. *bows head in shame* Its just an assumption on my part, because the mother is actually quite sweet, (to your face at least.) <strong>The girls just stand around primping and posing.
</strong>Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]

Because that is what teenaged girls do. ::shields TV's eyes::

GBCK · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inspired-re-post-poll-of-normal-women-normal-procreative-urges?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ffbf1bc9-6fde-4e63-bd08-4af7b61b1392Post:6cd4d699-0971-41ab-95c0-8ea17fcac0ff">Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges : Because that is what teenaged girls do. ::shields TV's eyes::
Posted by MinM[/QUOTE]

<div>Especially when they're raised to be obsessive about looks.</div><div>(obsessive about modesty is still obsessive about looks)</div>

EdsdollfaceJen · December 2011

I was an only child for ten yrs and hated it..for that reason alone, I plan to put myself through pregnancy hell one more time so my son has a companion growing up. It's not a number thing, but a personal dream for my kid thing, I guess

nicoleg1982 · December 2011

Here's another layer of crazy for you: Really, I just want to breastfeed again. I miss having a wee baby. I love DD and watching her grow has been fantastic, but having a tiny newborn again is something I'd definitely like to have in the future.

mrsconn23 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inspired-re-post-poll-of-normal-women-normal-procreative-urges?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ffbf1bc9-6fde-4e63-bd08-4af7b61b1392Post:fe2217f5-dd88-4a72-9cee-cf614509ff3a">Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's another layer of crazy for you: Really, I just want to breastfeed again. I miss having a wee baby. I love DD and watching her grow has been fantastic, but having a tiny newborn again is something I'd definitely like to have in the future.
Posted by nicoleg1982[/QUOTE]

That's not crazy. I feel the same way. I love watching DefConn grow, but I was trying to cradle his wiggly butt this morning and he was having none of it. I miss the newborn snuggles.

I also would love to try and BF again and hopefully do it 'right' with a second child.

EdsdollfaceJen · December 2011

Right, if we can't have another then that's life. I might consider adoption, which I always wanted to do anyway. Is it divorce worthy? No, because when you marry, you promise to put that person first even before kids, IMO.

MrsMyrtle · December 2011

You want to hear crazy? I'm ready to have a kid. If I turned up pregnant tomorrow, I'd be ecstatic. H isn't there yet, but I'm ready any time.

Yes, pigs do fly.

mrsconn23 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inspired-re-post-poll-of-normal-women-normal-procreative-urges?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ffbf1bc9-6fde-4e63-bd08-4af7b61b1392Post:8bd02ae7-e0a2-4812-81d4-33cf8ff4ff48">Re: Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges</a>:
[QUOTE]You want to hear crazy? I'm ready to have a kid. If I turned up pregnant tomorrow, I'd be ecstatic. H isn't there yet, but I'm ready any time. Yes, pigs do fly.
Posted by MrsMyrtle[/QUOTE]

*squeeing* at the thought of a Baby Myrtle.

Have the dogs been around kids? Are they cool with them?

TheDuckis · December 2011

I think whether or not chidren get along rests at least partly in how they're raised by their parents. So I don't think it's fair to say that parents who want their children to have siblings are doing so because they're too lazy to parent on their own.

I don't think having more than one child is going to teach them to share better any more than I think having siblings taught me to share. However, I do enjoy having 4 someones who totally get it when I want to vent about how crazy our mom is, and people who I know felt exactly the same way when our grandmother died. Provided I'm capable physically, emotionally and financially, I want to give that to my children as well.

dharmabunny · December 2011

Best thing about WW...

The natural migration of topic

LittleMissCutiePie · December 2011

I want 3 kids. However, when the day comes that I have our first child and I decide that I don't want anymore, that's fine. Likewise if FI didn't want anymore. I'd be a bit bummed, for sure, if it were him that was against the extra children, but having kids is a joint decision, and why would you want kids with someone who doesn't want them? For me, it's more about who is raising these children with you. If he didnt want the kid, I wouldn't be comfortable having him around him/her.

Inspired by a RE post, a poll for all of you normal women with normal procreative urges

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