Casey, please show me in ANY of my posts where I've bullied brides or others who posted on here.
I'm a mod on two international boards here. I'll express in my posts what the proper etiquette is of any given situation and my opinion and I'll debate an argument that is is important to me. Doing so DOES NOT make me a bully.
However telling me that I'm a bully is insulting.
And telling others along with myself that if we're married then we shouldn't be on here IS insulting.
So please, show me where I was a bully or where I insulted you.
You're making arguments that are Swiss cheese. Cash bars are NOT a Midwestern thing and they ARE improper etiquette. In many circles, that impropriety means that they are quite rude to your guests.
You can possibly disagree on the rudeness however the etiquette is not debatable.
I don't think those who have cash bars are rude or bad. But what they would be DOING is rude.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:3f174da9-3856-45bf-adba-6358f7412120">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]I also want to say that if the wedding was for someone I cared about (which, presumably, would be why I was going to it in the first place), I'd stay until close to the end even if there was a cash bar/no bar. I would never leave after dinner just because there was a cash bar - I spend plenty of nights either not drinking or paying for my drinks, and even though I might be slightly annoyed at a cash bar at the wedding, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Saying you'd leave after dinner kind of sounds like you're just in it for the free stuff (the food). That's not why I go to weddings - I go because I care about the people and want to celebrate their marriage. Posted by abbalish[/QUOTE] That's fine and I see you point. I pay for my drinks all the time - just not at weddings. From my perspective, if you invite me to you wedding, spend money on centerpieces, fancy invitations, invite a ton of people - and not provide alcohol, then yeah, I'm going to think you don't really care if I enjoy myself. Like you said yourself, there are always ways to cut your budget in other areas.<div>Calypso always says she leaves after dinner because she's tired. So is she just going for the free food? </div><div>To me, it comes down to respect. I would never host a party and ask people to pay. I find it disrespectful.</div>
[QUOTE]She's a fuucking twatwaffle. They both need to cut the cord. Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]
9/27/2010 <-- whoever said no one on this board used that word.
I'm not offended by anything you ladies say. I could really guve a crap less what you gals think. I do believe that some girls should be stuck up for. A lot of ladies feel like they can't post anything on this board because they will be attacked by you.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:85705be4-070e-4ae6-8e06-4891121aee81">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]9/27/2010 <-- whoever said no one on this board used that word. I'm not offended by anything you ladies say. I could really guve a crap less what you gals think. I do believe that some girls should be stuck up for. A lot of ladies feel like they can't post anything on this board because they will be attacked by you. Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
I was the one who asked if anyone used that word in this THREAD. Because this THREAD has been pretty civil.
And if you're going to judge everybody based on what P2 says, well.... yeah. We are not a monolithic bunch.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:85705be4-070e-4ae6-8e06-4891121aee81">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]9/27/2010 <-- whoever said no one on this board used that word. I'm not offended by anything you ladies say. I could really guve a crap less what you gals think. I do believe that some girls should be stuck up for. A lot of ladies feel like they can't post anything on this board because they will be attacked by you. Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
I'm pretty sure I remember what thread that post came from, and it had NOTHING to do with weddings.
if someone is afraid of being attacked by words on a screen from strangers, they have bigger problems
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:57f8cb5b-de18-417a-891f-2ae4ccb307f4">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: is a cash bar really that bad? : Really? Do you only have fun when you drink? Granted, the only non-open bar I've been to was a dry wedding in the afternoon, but it was still perfectly pleasant to eat food and sit around chatting with friends. Posted by abbalish[/QUOTE] I'm not going to get into a debate about my drinking habits. Like I said, I've never actually been to a wedding without an open bar. But in general, at a big party like a wedding, yes, I have a lot more fun when I drink. <div>I've also been to an afternoon dry wedding - completely different situation - at least to me. </div>
The people who I'm defending aren't the ones paying for fancy centerpieces and filet mignon. And yes leaving right after dinner is rude. I don't care if your tired, it looks as though you are only in it for the free food.
You can have fun at a wedding without alchohol.
I am the mod on the Illinois board. Cash bars are the norm.. May not live up to your etiquette standards. But I'm not gonna let you make us feel bad for whats normal for us.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:85705be4-070e-4ae6-8e06-4891121aee81">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]9/27/2010 <-- whoever said no one on this board used that word. I'm not offended by anything you ladies say. I could really guve a crap less what you gals think. I do believe that some girls should be stuck up for. A lot of ladies feel like they can't post anything on this board because they will be attacked by you. Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
Again, you haven't pointed out where *I* made any bullying comments.
You've insulted me and told me that I bully but you're not backing up your statements.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:a85b0f70-977f-4449-b8c8-38b590776d0f">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]I'm not going to get into a debate about my drinking habits. Like I said, I've never actually been to a wedding without an open bar. But in general, at a big party like a wedding, yes, I have a lot more fun when I drink. I've also been to an afternoon dry wedding - completely different situation - at least to me. Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]
I'm not trying to debate your drinking habits, I enjoy drinking as well. I guess I might have *more* fun with an open bar, but I just don't think it would be the end of the world if there wasn't one. Somehow I'm doubting a nighttime wedding without an open bar wouldn't really be a late-night rager, anyhow.
Trust me....I don't consider Calypso to be the beacon of etiquette :-)
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:ef17cff4-ee80-4730-95e1-0b9dccd654f5">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]banana- I will find one of your bullying comments eventually. I have better things to do right now. Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
I highly doubt you'll find anything. Banana is probably the most level headed poster on this entire site.
Again, so you're going to attack me but you won't back up the attack.
I'll buy one aspect of your argument: If cash bars are the norm for your social circle and you're only inviting guests *in* that social circle then what you're doing is inappropriate etiquette but it's not considered rude by your guests.
However I don't know of many situations where that holds as many weddings involve a few different social circles. And as the wedding reception is FOR your guests and not the bride and groom, it's about THEM and not the bride and groom's social experience.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:e5333876-3a69-4688-89d2-3508ffd6f30b">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: is a cash bar really that bad? : I'm not trying to debate your drinking habits, I enjoy drinking as well. I guess I might have *more* fun with an open bar, but I just don't think it would be the end of the world if there wasn't one. Somehow I'm doubting a nighttime wedding without an open bar wouldn't really be a late-night rager, anyhow. Trust me....I don't consider Calypso to be the beacon of etiquette :-) Posted by abbalish[/QUOTE] Oh neither do I, I just always think it's funny when she says she can't stay past 10pm, because it's late for her. I thought she was going to say she's like 63. I think she said she's 32? <div> </div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:5750f4c3-fc9e-414f-966e-2a8852bc93ec">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]The people who I'm defending aren't the ones paying for fancy centerpieces and filet mignon. And yes leaving right after dinner is rude. I don't care if your tired, it looks as though you are only in it for the free food. You can have fun at a wedding without alchohol. I am the mod on the Illinois board. Cash bars are the norm.. May not live up to your etiquette standards. But I'm not gonna let you make us feel bad for whats normal for us. Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE] Not all of Illinois.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:5750f4c3-fc9e-414f-966e-2a8852bc93ec">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]The people who I'm defending aren't the ones paying for fancy centerpieces and filet mignon. And yes leaving right after dinner is rude. I don't care if your tired, it looks as though you are only in it for the free food. You can have fun at a wedding without alchohol. I am the mod on the Illinois board. Cash bars are the norm.. May not live up to your etiquette standards. But I'm not gonna let you make us feel bad for whats normal for us. Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
Well, then that's fine for your local board. People should generally realize that if you want advice about local customs and such, then you should ask about them only on your local board. But if you come and ask a question on a national board, then you're going to get people from all over the country giving their opinions or their assessment of what is and isn't proper etiquette. We're not going to come over to the Illinois board and flame people for having cash bars. But if someone comes and asks what we think about cash bars here, we will answer.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:c2d6ded6-3879-4ca3-9da6-c261304c4abf">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]JenGin- This has nothing to do with you or Sarah. Banana is a big girl, she can defend herself. Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
This is a public message board and I can comment on whatever I like. Kind of in the same way the original discussion had nothing to do with you yet you took it upon yourself to defend someone else.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:c2d6ded6-3879-4ca3-9da6-c261304c4abf">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]JenGin- This has nothing to do with you or Sarah. Banana is a big girl, she can defend herself. Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
Fine Banana- Youre not a bully. But what you say sometimes is too blunt. I'm not saying to spit puppies and rainbows. A lot of girls who post on here are new and if the first thing they read is one of you saying how there wedding is a farce or how their faux paus make them rude.
So. I'm sorry for calling you a bully. But some of you ladies could be a little nicer.
Casey, Banana is one of the most well-liked and level-headed people around here. If you choose to attack her, which you have done more than once, be prepared, because people will be offended and will attack back. Not that Banana can't defend herself, and still be a lady while doing so, but be warned.
That aside, what we find around here is that many people who come on here and ask a question like the one at hand already have their mind made up, and are just looking for validation. Which isn't going to happen here. E has always been a brutally honest board, which isn't a bad thing - I'd rather a bunch of strangers on the internet tell me that I'm out of line than have my MIL or my DH or my best friends tell me. Does it sting from the internet strangers? Yeah. That's why people get defensive. Is it better than hurting the feeling of people I care about or having people I actually care about hurt my feelings? Yes.
If you want puppies and rainbows, go back to the local or club boards or try weddingwire or weddingbee. But there's no need to insult people who have been very civil in this thread.
Oh, and to get back to the original question at hand: At a wedding, you are HOSTING your guests at the reception. It is rude to ask them to open their wallets for anything. When I have guests over to my home for dinner, I don't ask them to pay for their drinks. You shouldn't ask them to pay for their drinks at your wedding, either. It's ok to just host beer and wine. It's ok to have a dry wedding, so long as you realize that people probably won't stay as long. It's NOT ok to to basically say "Pony up for your alcohol."
FWIW, we went to 5 weddings this year, including our own. Three were open bar. One was hosted beer and wine, no liquor of any kind. One was hosted beer and wine and cash liquor. All we could talk about at the last wedding was that we couldn't believe they were offering liquor that we had to pay for. And because we were already criticizing that wedding, it was hard to have a good time.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me. You made my wedding day complete.
Incidentally, I'm going to FI's ten year high school reunion in a few weeks, and not only do we have to pay an exorbitant fee to get in, but there's also a cash bar. Now, THAT is the kind of event that should have free-flowing alcomohol.
I'm pretty sure I already apologized. I don't know what else you want from me.
Some people do need defending. There is a way to be honest without hurting feelings. Yes, many of the girls may already have their mind made up and are just looking for validation. But some are not, and I'd hate to think you are scaring well meaning girls away because you can't say something nicely.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:bb95eb3b-9bbb-43f4-ab7d-f11c0167a0c1">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]Fine Banana- Youre not a bully. But what you say sometimes is too blunt. I'm not saying to spit puppies and rainbows. A lot of girls who post on here are new and if the first thing they read is one of you saying how there wedding is a farce or how their faux paus make them rude. So. I'm sorry for calling you a bully. But some of you ladies could be a little nicer. Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
Banana doesn't sugarcoat needlessly but she is not mean, a bully or anyone whose advice people dismiss. She tells the truth in a very concise way so that her point doesn't get lost. If you need a lot of positive reinforcement buildup before someone tells you the truth, you are the one with the problem, not Banana.
EDIT: This is meant not only for you but for every new person on these boards who has spent the last week crying about how mean these boards are.
Eh, while I'm not a fan of how Casey has carried herself here, which is very poorly, for the record, I tend to be on the other side of cash bars than most posters here.
I had an open bar because...well...we wanted to. But most of the weddings I've been to have been cash bars. More often, a couple of kegs of beer and wine are provided and the guests are on their own for the rest of it. Doesn't bother me one bit. And I ALWAYS bring cash to weddings because I expect to pay for my own drinks.
I'd rather be invited to spend the day with my friends/family and be there for their wedding celebration and pay for my own booze, then be left out of the celebration all together.
Also, I'd rather pay for my own drinks than not have anything available at all.
Why do I feel like there's going to be a post on the Illinois board about how the Etiquette girls are soooooo meeeeeeaaaan?
Welcome to Why You Shouldn't Argue on the Internet, part 483. Once you open that can of worms, it just keeps on going. I know I've gotten into many stupid arguments on here that made me feel bad later.
My favorite is when people come on and be mean and snippy to people because they think people are being mean and snippy. No really. My favorite. /sarcasm font.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-really-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6a18fbce-ee39-42a9-b76a-841267793064Post:6778a901-a34c-4161-b81a-658c6e6119a9">Re: is a cash bar really that bad?</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: is a cash bar really that bad? : Don't take it personally. She was probably still typing her post when you apologized, clicked submit, and then realized you already apologized. We're not harassing you. Posted by bree4305[/QUOTE]
Re: is a cash bar really that bad?
I'm a mod on two international boards here. I'll express in my posts what the proper etiquette is of any given situation and my opinion and I'll debate an argument that is is important to me. Doing so DOES NOT make me a bully.
However telling me that I'm a bully is insulting.
And telling others along with myself that if we're married then we shouldn't be on here IS insulting.
So please, show me where I was a bully or where I insulted you.
You're making arguments that are Swiss cheese. Cash bars are NOT a Midwestern thing and they ARE improper etiquette. In many circles, that impropriety means that they are quite rude to your guests.
You can possibly disagree on the rudeness however the etiquette is not debatable.
I don't think those who have cash bars are rude or bad. But what they would be DOING is rude.
[QUOTE]I also want to say that if the wedding was for someone I cared about (which, presumably, would be why I was going to it in the first place), I'd stay until close to the end even if there was a cash bar/no bar. I would never leave after dinner just because there was a cash bar - I spend plenty of nights either not drinking or paying for my drinks, and even though I might be slightly annoyed at a cash bar at the wedding, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Saying you'd leave after dinner kind of sounds like you're just in it for the free stuff (the food). That's not why I go to weddings - I go because I care about the people and want to celebrate their marriage.
Posted by abbalish[/QUOTE]
That's fine and I see you point. I pay for my drinks all the time - just not at weddings. From my perspective, if you invite me to you wedding, spend money on centerpieces, fancy invitations, invite a ton of people - and not provide alcohol, then yeah, I'm going to think you don't really care if I enjoy myself. Like you said yourself, there are always ways to cut your budget in other areas.<div>Calypso always says she leaves after dinner because she's tired. So is she just going for the free food? </div><div>To me, it comes down to respect. I would never host a party and ask people to pay. I find it disrespectful.</div>
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]
9/27/2010 <-- whoever said no one on this board used that word.
I'm not offended by anything you ladies say. I could really guve a crap less what you gals think. I do believe that some girls should be stuck up for. A lot of ladies feel like they can't post anything on this board because they will be attacked by you.
[QUOTE]9/27/2010 <-- whoever said no one on this board used that word. I'm not offended by anything you ladies say. I could really guve a crap less what you gals think. I do believe that some girls should be stuck up for. A lot of ladies feel like they can't post anything on this board because they will be attacked by you.
Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
I was the one who asked if anyone used that word in this THREAD. Because this THREAD has been pretty civil.
And if you're going to judge everybody based on what P2 says, well.... yeah. We are not a monolithic bunch.
Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
[QUOTE]9/27/2010 <-- whoever said no one on this board used that word. I'm not offended by anything you ladies say. I could really guve a crap less what you gals think. I do believe that some girls should be stuck up for. A lot of ladies feel like they can't post anything on this board because they will be attacked by you.
Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
I'm pretty sure I remember what thread that post came from, and it had NOTHING to do with weddings.
if someone is afraid of being attacked by words on a screen from strangers, they have bigger problems
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: is a cash bar really that bad? : Really? Do you only have fun when you drink? Granted, the only non-open bar I've been to was a dry wedding in the afternoon, but it was still perfectly pleasant to eat food and sit around chatting with friends.
Posted by abbalish[/QUOTE]
I'm not going to get into a debate about my drinking habits. Like I said, I've never actually been to a wedding without an open bar. But in general, at a big party like a wedding, yes, I have a lot more fun when I drink. <div>I've also been to an afternoon dry wedding - completely different situation - at least to me. </div>
You can have fun at a wedding without alchohol.
I am the mod on the Illinois board. Cash bars are the norm.. May not live up to your etiquette standards. But I'm not gonna let you make us feel bad for whats normal for us.
[QUOTE]9/27/2010 <-- whoever said no one on this board used that word. I'm not offended by anything you ladies say. I could really guve a crap less what you gals think. I do believe that some girls should be stuck up for. A lot of ladies feel like they can't post anything on this board because they will be attacked by you.
Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
Again, you haven't pointed out where *I* made any bullying comments.
You've insulted me and told me that I bully but you're not backing up your statements.
[QUOTE]I'm not going to get into a debate about my drinking habits. Like I said, I've never actually been to a wedding without an open bar. But in general, at a big party like a wedding, yes, I have a lot more fun when I drink. I've also been to an afternoon dry wedding - completely different situation - at least to me.
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]
I'm not trying to debate your drinking habits, I enjoy drinking as well. I guess I might have *more* fun with an open bar, but I just don't think it would be the end of the world if there wasn't one. Somehow I'm doubting a nighttime wedding without an open bar wouldn't really be a late-night rager, anyhow.
Trust me....I don't consider Calypso to be the beacon of etiquette :-)
Planning * Married & House
My shiny new movie review blog!
[QUOTE]banana- I will find one of your bullying comments eventually. I have better things to do right now.
Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
I highly doubt you'll find anything. Banana is probably the most level headed poster on this entire site.
I'll buy one aspect of your argument: If cash bars are the norm for your social circle and you're only inviting guests *in* that social circle then what you're doing is inappropriate etiquette but it's not considered rude by your guests.
However I don't know of many situations where that holds as many weddings involve a few different social circles. And as the wedding reception is FOR your guests and not the bride and groom, it's about THEM and not the bride and groom's social experience.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: is a cash bar really that bad? : I'm not trying to debate your drinking habits, I enjoy drinking as well. I guess I might have *more* fun with an open bar, but I just don't think it would be the end of the world if there wasn't one. Somehow I'm doubting a nighttime wedding without an open bar wouldn't really be a late-night rager, anyhow. Trust me....I don't consider Calypso to be the beacon of etiquette :-)
Posted by abbalish[/QUOTE]
Oh neither do I, I just always think it's funny when she says she can't stay past 10pm, because it's late for her. I thought she was going to say she's like 63. I think she said she's 32? <div>
</div>
[QUOTE]The people who I'm defending aren't the ones paying for fancy centerpieces and filet mignon. And yes leaving right after dinner is rude. I don't care if your tired, it looks as though you are only in it for the free food. You can have fun at a wedding without alchohol. I am the mod on the Illinois board. Cash bars are the norm.. May not live up to your etiquette standards. But I'm not gonna let you make us feel bad for whats normal for us.
Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
Not all of Illinois.
[QUOTE]The people who I'm defending aren't the ones paying for fancy centerpieces and filet mignon. And yes leaving right after dinner is rude. I don't care if your tired, it looks as though you are only in it for the free food. You can have fun at a wedding without alchohol. I am the mod on the Illinois board. Cash bars are the norm.. May not live up to your etiquette standards. But I'm not gonna let you make us feel bad for whats normal for us.
Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
Well, then that's fine for your local board. People should generally realize that if you want advice about local customs and such, then you should ask about them only on your local board. But if you come and ask a question on a national board, then you're going to get people from all over the country giving their opinions or their assessment of what is and isn't proper etiquette. We're not going to come over to the Illinois board and flame people for having cash bars. But if someone comes and asks what we think about cash bars here, we will answer.
Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
[QUOTE]JenGin- This has nothing to do with you or Sarah. Banana is a big girl, she can defend herself.
Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
This is a public message board and I can comment on whatever I like. Kind of in the same way the original discussion had nothing to do with you yet you took it upon yourself to defend someone else.
Seems a bit hypocritical to me.
[QUOTE]JenGin- This has nothing to do with you or Sarah. Banana is a big girl, she can defend herself.
Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
Woooooo internet message board fight cliche.
Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
Fine Banana- Youre not a bully. But what you say sometimes is too blunt. I'm not saying to spit puppies and rainbows. A lot of girls who post on here are new and if the first thing they read is one of you saying how there wedding is a farce or how their faux paus make them rude.
So. I'm sorry for calling you a bully. But some of you ladies could be a little nicer.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
I'm pretty sure I already apologized. I don't know what else you want from me.
Some people do need defending. There is a way to be honest without hurting feelings. Yes, many of the girls may already have their mind made up and are just looking for validation. But some are not, and I'd hate to think you are scaring well meaning girls away because you can't say something nicely.
[QUOTE]Fine Banana- Youre not a bully. But what you say sometimes is too blunt. I'm not saying to spit puppies and rainbows. A lot of girls who post on here are new and if the first thing they read is one of you saying how there wedding is a farce or how their faux paus make them rude. So. I'm sorry for calling you a bully. But some of you ladies could be a little nicer.
Posted by omgitscasey[/QUOTE]
Banana doesn't sugarcoat needlessly but she is not mean, a bully or anyone whose advice people dismiss. She tells the truth in a very concise way so that her point doesn't get lost. If you need a lot of positive reinforcement buildup before someone tells you the truth, you are the one with the problem, not Banana.
EDIT: This is meant not only for you but for every new person on these boards who has spent the last week crying about how mean these boards are.
AKA GoodLuckBear14
See! This is what I'm talking about.
I APOLOGIZED.
Its over. drop it. stop harrassing me.
I had an open bar because...well...we wanted to. But most of the weddings I've been to have been cash bars. More often, a couple of kegs of beer and wine are provided and the guests are on their own for the rest of it. Doesn't bother me one bit. And I ALWAYS bring cash to weddings because I expect to pay for my own drinks.
I'd rather be invited to spend the day with my friends/family and be there for their wedding celebration and pay for my own booze, then be left out of the celebration all together.
Also, I'd rather pay for my own drinks than not have anything available at all.
I just don't think it's that big of a deal.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
But I accept your apology. I'll admit that I'm blunt and don't sugarcoat because I don't think it's necessary to walk on eggshells with grown adults.
And thank you for the apology BTW.
If I don't post again, it's because I'm off to my baby shower - not because I'm running away.
Welcome to Why You Shouldn't Argue on the Internet, part 483. Once you open that can of worms, it just keeps on going. I know I've gotten into many stupid arguments on here that made me feel bad later.
Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: is a cash bar really that bad? : Don't take it personally. She was probably still typing her post when you apologized, clicked submit, and then realized you already apologized. We're not harassing you.
Posted by bree4305[/QUOTE]
Exactly. Go back and read the edit.
AKA GoodLuckBear14