NWPR- Seating Charts

blackfire5th · April 2010

I was reading this post on Reception Ideas:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_seating-chart-necessary

It's late to respond to that post, so I was going to through out my two cents here.

In my opinion, you should have a seating chart at a wedding for many of the reasons listed in that post. I saw a lot of ladies respond that they have been to weddings without seating charts and it wasn't chaos. I thought this too until I went to a wedding where it was chaos for me. I've been to plenty of weddings without seating charts and it never seemed to be a problem. Then I went to my SIL's wedding. Dh (at the time BF) was a groomsman and of course WP dates had to fend for themselves. I didn't really know anyone at the wedding (we hadn't been dating that long) and the lack of a seating chart was a nightmare for me. I had no idea where to sit and my MIL was trying to help me, but every time I went for seat, someone else got it before I could reach it. There were a few other problems I noticed, but I guess my point is that even if the seating seems fine for you, the lack of a seating chart is probably chaos for a few people at every wedding.

stina93446 · April 2010

I like it when there's a seating chart because I feel like the bride and groom cared enough to think of where I would want to sit.

baystateapple · April 2010

It also makes things way less complicated during dinner -- if there's no seating chart, who is to keep someone from "stealing" your seat if the meal is buffet-style and you get up to get your plate?

banana468 · April 2010

I want to say MyNameIsNot didn't have a seating chart but when you don't have one, you need to plan to have seating for MORE than you're actually having there.

I prefer a seating chart, but I understand that if a group doesn't like them but at least makes sure that there are extra seats, it could be fine.

suz62984 · April 2010

I went to a wedding for FI's family one year (then BF). They had sit down seating for about 100 people but approximately 50 people had to stand at smaller rounds that were bar level. It was very awkward.

psichick · April 2010

i've never been to a wedding without a seating chart and i never hope to. it just seems like it would be a mess without one. i don't see seating charts as treating people like a child, nor do i like the analogy of a school cafeteria. cafeterias are mad houses, and i would prefer my wedding not be like that. plus there's always a few people that don't know a lot of people there and they end up getting screwed with no seating. and that's not okay.

lizziemoopsc · April 2010

My sister's wedding didn't have a seating chart but it was fine because there were many more seats than were "needed". So you could share with people you know or choose to get a table by yourself if needed. It also didn't look empty either, though. Somehow she found a balance of what would look good but still provide more than adequate seating for all of her 150 guests.

I've also been to weddings where it was a terrible idea because there weren't enough seats for everyone, or at least not enough for everyone to sit with whomever they wanted, so about half the people ended up standing. Definitely awkward.

For our wedding, we're only having 40ish people but given the only 44 seats in the room and the awkward arrangement of seating (a table of 10, 3 tables of 4, etc- we're having it at our favorite restaurant), we are definitely doing a seating chart.

xoxob · April 2010

I think seating chars depend on the couple, the group, and the venue. For smaller weddings it seems ok, but some people invite like 200 people, that seems like a free-for-all. We are going to have to split the group into two dining rooms, so a seating chart is a necessity.

saisongbird · April 2010

I went to one without one 5 years ago and I was miserable. The rest of my friends were in the bridal party. The bride had arranged for the bridal party, their dates, and the parents to have seating on tables at a dais. Since I a) was not in the bridal party and b) had been invited without a date, I had no one to sit with. There were enough seats, but I ended up sitting alone and kinda resenting the seating situation.

emilyinchile · April 2010

I don't really understand why you wouldn't have one, even though I know that some people don't and it works out if they have extra seats. I don't get the argument that it's somehow restricting your guests because I've never felt like a seating chart cramped my style, and they generally guarantee that it's easy for me to find a seat with people I like. Plus for the hosts even though making a seating chart can be a pain, it means you don't need as many seats, and to me that's a good trade-off.

Of course if you're having a small wedding where everyone knows each other, then a seating chart isn't necessary, but that's not the case for most.

SarahPLiz · April 2010

I understand why you wouldn't want to assign seats, but I do think it helps to at least assign tables. People may have preferences about who they want to sit next to at the table, but as long as the tables are assigned, everyone has a seat next to someone.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

We didn't have one. I think it may be a regional thing or something, but they just aren't very common in my area/circle. I think I've been to maybe 2 weddings with seating charts, and probably a hundred without.

We wanted to do one, but my parents were really against it, so we didn't. We ended up having seating for 120, with 100 people. I really feel like it was fine.

I really think if you do open seating, it can work, but only if 1) you have plenty of extra space and 2) most of your people are used to it.

lalap69 · April 2010

I'm a fan of seating charts (for tables, not chairs). I like not having to worry about who I'll sit with or watching my seat. I think it's especially good when there are guests by themselves who might not know anyone because then they can be seated with people they'll probably get along with.

I attended a wedding where FI was a GM and they had a traditional head table. I didn't really know anyone there except for FI and the bride and groom. But they sat me next to one of the other GM's FI's at a table with young people and we ended up really hitting it off and having a great time. I don't think that would have happened without a seating chart.

I also really don't think putting together a seating chart will be that difficult. TBH, FI and I are kind of looking forward to it.

emilyinchile · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwpr-seating-charts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:37920ce1-dcb4-49c3-aab3-d388c29f5ddbPost:aa7e4035-c15e-449b-a139-6d5e61328735">Re: NWPR- Seating Charts</a>:
[QUOTE]I also really don't think putting together a seating chart will be that difficult. TBH, FI and I are kind of looking forward to it. :)
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

I am a nerd and liked it because it was like a puzzle. I cut out pieces of paper with everyone's name on them and moved them around, which was a pretty easy way to do it. We had a couple people who couldn't sit together, but other than that I feel like we got lucky with numbers and didn't have too many problems.

lalap69 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwpr-seating-charts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:37920ce1-dcb4-49c3-aab3-d388c29f5ddbPost:e85fbade-2957-4fa1-9ae7-371e96d048e8">Re: NWPR- Seating Charts</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWPR- Seating Charts : I am a nerd and liked it because it was like a puzzle. I cut out pieces of paper with everyone's name on them and moved them around, which was a pretty easy way to do it. We had a couple people who couldn't sit together, but other than that I feel like we got lucky with numbers and didn't have too many problems.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]
That's what I was planning on doing!! Haha, I love puzzles and problem solving because I too am a nerd. My cousin told me that she had people actually write in on their RSVP cards "please don't sit me with this person" and that it was helpful in making her seating chart. I figure it's just one more variable to work with. The only downside is that you have to wait till really close to the wedding to be able to do them.

blackfire5th · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwpr-seating-charts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:37920ce1-dcb4-49c3-aab3-d388c29f5ddbPost:eb905cd2-0e3f-4e82-b237-39e2b2eae649">Re: NWPR- Seating Charts</a>:
[QUOTE]I think seating chars depend on the couple, the group, and the venue. For smaller weddings it seems ok, but some people invite like 200 people, that seems like a free-for-all. We are going to have to split the group into two dining rooms, so a seating chart is a necessity.
Posted by xoxob[/QUOTE]

<div>Are the two rooms together or will 1/2 of your guests not be able to see you.</div><div>
</div><div>I've heard a lot of reasons why using two different rooms (unless they just make one big room) is a really bad idea.</div>

mbcdefg · April 2010

I can understand skipping table assignments if the guests are truly accustomed to that kind of thing. But if most people would expect it, then I think it should be done.

In my area, I think people would be shocked if they were not told what table they should sit at, just because it's so common. I would personally feel awkward sitting at any ol' table because I'd be afraid of taking a seat intended for someone else (like if someone was hoping that their cousins would be joining them but I wound up sitting there), or if I sat down someplace and people just sighed because they didn't want me there. At least with a seating chart, I would not be the one to blame.

But I have to say, in the majority of "I don't think I'll do a seating chart" posts on the knot, it seems to stem from pure laziness. If you want to throw a party, then don't do it halfassed.

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

The wedding that I DOCed was supposed to have assigned seating, but the table numbers didn't get done in time (DIY bride who didn't plan well), so that got scrapped. It was kind of a mess. By the time I was finally able to grab a plate of food, the only table where I knew people was full, so I had to eat in the kitchen.

I think that assigning at least tables actually promotes mingling. If I think someone's going to steal my spot, I'm not likely to want to get up and wander around.

We're not having one, but ours is a cocktail reception with sort of a lounge setup, so there's nothing really to assign people to. We'll have a coat check area so people can wander around without having to schlep their stuff.

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