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Tell me simple is OK, please :)
I've never even heard of a wedding like ours I guess it's like eloping with evites.
We are getting married in a very informal ceremony in the beginning of our regular evening church service. Just standing up and saying our "I do's" , with no reception.
We are having a combined family brunch that morning, which is enough festivities for me for the day.
We will have an open house BBQ reception later tihis summer after we have settled in. Ther eception date is set and was announced on the evite.
I'm getting some push back about gifts. One of the ladies from church called and said I couldn't expect gifts because there would be no celebration and was "encouraging" me to have a cake and coffee time after the service, so I can get gifts. I really dont care about gifts, I mean we are combining 2 households, sure towels would be nice but....
Will people really feel cheated because we are making unconventional choices? We do have good reasons for our decisons.
Am I totally ungrateful? I feel a bit bridezilla ish.
We are getting married in a very informal ceremony in the beginning of our regular evening church service. Just standing up and saying our "I do's" , with no reception.
We are having a combined family brunch that morning, which is enough festivities for me for the day.
We will have an open house BBQ reception later tihis summer after we have settled in. Ther eception date is set and was announced on the evite.
I'm getting some push back about gifts. One of the ladies from church called and said I couldn't expect gifts because there would be no celebration and was "encouraging" me to have a cake and coffee time after the service, so I can get gifts. I really dont care about gifts, I mean we are combining 2 households, sure towels would be nice but....
Will people really feel cheated because we are making unconventional choices? We do have good reasons for our decisons.
Am I totally ungrateful? I feel a bit bridezilla ish.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tell me simple is OK, please :)
Hmmm ... some people (family; close friends) might feel slighted, that's for sure, especially if they're left out of the Church service. At the end of the day, though, you and your FI should conduct your ceremony and celebration in the way you see fit.
One thing I highly recommend is that you hire a photographer to commemorate the occasion. Won't you regret not having a photo or two to sigh over??
Are you ungrateful? I don't know. Only you know the answer to that.
n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_tell-me-simple-is-ok-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:df814b78-c094-4332-8f41-bba1eca468d5Post:7ef2a38a-5a37-4b00-9b4a-09ef90786f7f">Re: Tell me simple is OK, please :)</a>:
[QUOTE]Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding! Hmmm ... some people (family; close friends) might feel slighted, that's for sure, especially if they're left out of the Church service. At the end of the day, though, you and your FI should conduct your ceremony and celebration in the way you see fit. One thing I highly recommend is that you hire a photographer to commemorate the occasion. Won't you regret not having a photo or two to sigh over?? Are you ungrateful? I don't know. Only you know the answer to that.
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]
I am not sure how I feel about the cake thing. I feel like you are sort of forcing your wedding on the people who just want to attend their regular church service, even if you are keeping it very brief. So offering a cake & punch fellowship afterwards might be a nice gesture. Of course, now that the nosy church lady has tied it to gifts, if you do it now, she'll tell everyone how it was her advice so you could receive gifts that changed your mind. ~Donna
[QUOTE]Glad you rewrote this into your own post. I am not sure how I feel about the cake thing. I feel like you are sort of forcing your wedding on the people who just want to attend their regular church service, even if you are keeping it very brief. So offering a cake & punch fellowship afterwards might be a nice gesture. Of course, now that the nosy church lady has tied it to gifts, if you do it now, she'll tell everyone how it was her advice so you could receive gifts that changed your mind. ~Donna
Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]
Good point, Donna. Here's a thought ... what if they have cake and punch immediately following, but don't tell anyone in advance except the one or two people who really need to know for set-up? That way, it is available for all who hear the announcement but nosy church lady won't be able to crow about it for an interminable length of time.
Your house warming party/reception is a great idea! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
This is coming from the Pagan who had a "planned" elopement though--we went off to Key West, just the two of us. We told everyone who mattered, such as family and close friends, but didn't invite anyone. People STILL wanted to throw us parties, and give us gifts, so we registered for a few items that we needed/wanted replacements or upgrades.
This way, you get your small, intimate ceremony, no fanfare, and no nosy church ladies. Plus, you do not have to tell anyone you are doing this, except those who need to know.
[QUOTE]Here is a suggestion - have your combined family brunch in the am, attend the morning services if you choose,<strong> then have a small ceremony AFTER the am services, when the regular church-goers have gone. </strong> This way, you get your small, intimate ceremony, no fanfare, and no nosy church ladies. Plus, you do not have to tell anyone you are doing this, except those who need to know.
Posted by AbbeyS2011[/QUOTE]
This is common practice for small ceremonies at my church and has always worked out well.