Bridesmaid issues.

MELANIEATLEWIS · March 2012

I informed my bridesmaids four months ago that they were all paying for their own dresses. Everyone was more than happy. Well I am now to get married in two weeks, and, two of my bridesmaids have not bought there dresses. They have to be ordered and now they wont be here in time for the wedding!!!

I dont know what to do, I will have two bridesmaids and my fiance will have 4 groomsmen. I thought about buying siimlar dresses that dont match just to make it work, but both girls think that I should have to pay for them and now say they dont want to be in the wedding.
How can I make this work where I wont look crazy with half the people he has?

juliebug1997 · March 2012

Everything will look fine!!! Just have each girl escorted by two guys (if that's what you're doing).

Are these two girls still coming to the wedding as guests? You know, if you have people ask, just say that something came up and you guys are very happy with how things went. Then change the subject by asking if they enjoyed the cake.

zitiqueen · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-issues-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ab46dddf-8bfd-4d1f-a480-851620df7e09Post:4cf5a567-f500-4e39-8760-a9e9c2d857f5">Bridesmaid issues.</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I informed my bridesmaids four months ago that they were all paying for their own dresses.</strong> Everyone was more than happy. Well I am now to get married in two weeks, and, two of my bridesmaids have not bought there dresses. They have to be ordered and now they wont be here in time for the wedding!!! I dont know what to do, I will have two bridesmaids and my fiance will have 4 groomsmen. I thought about buying siimlar dresses that dont match just to make it work, but both girls think that I should have to pay for them and now say they dont want to be in the wedding. How can I make this work where I wont look crazy with half the people he has?
Posted by MELANIEATLEWIS[/QUOTE]

Not that it matters now, but did you ask them their budgets beforehand?

OBX2011 · March 2012

You never checked with them to ensure they were ordered on time?

There seems to be a lost missing from this story as I find it hard to believe that:

1) you never gave them a deadline to order the dresses

2) you never followed up to ensure they were in fact ordered

3) that you never discussed a budget with them and/or they never expressed their feelings about who is paying for the dress

Are there any bridal shops near you that sell dresses off the rack? I am sure that someone out there has 2 dresses that will work for you. Also check Macy's and Nordstroms as they may have something in store OR you could purchase online and have it rushed shipping.

Take a deep breath....you will find the dresses, but you need to start looking like now!

ETA: and if they have in fact removed themselves from the wedding, then this is a non-issue and like PP said, have 2 GM escort each BM. Trust me, it's done all the time as not everyone has symmetrical sides and everyone will be anxious to see you walking down the aisle anyway

redheadfsu · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-issues-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ab46dddf-8bfd-4d1f-a480-851620df7e09Post:cd974fcb-1eec-4951-833e-c558d61c27c8">Re: Bridesmaid issues.</a>:
[QUOTE]Everything will look fine!!! Just have each girl escorted by two guys (if that's what you're doing). Are these two girls still coming to the wedding as guests? You know, if you have people ask, just say that something came up and you guys are very happy with how things went. Then change the subject by asking if they enjoyed the cake.
Posted by juliebug1997[/QUOTE]

This. The girls took themselves out of the wedding by failing to order in time. Not your fault (assuming you discussed budget and everything with them).

Maggie0829 · March 2012

Ok, please do me a a favor and take a deep breath. Everything will be fine.

It is perfectly fine to have uneven sides (I did) and it will not look crazy.

Your two BMs took themselves out of your wedding because they did not purchase the dress. I think it is kind of sh$tty of them to expect you to buy two dresses in a similar style because they didn't get their crap together and order the dresses when they were suppose to. (I am also assuming that you discussed budgets before selecting a dress...though even if you didn't they should have spoken up about the costs way before this)

rlavach · March 2012

I also find it hard to believe that you didn't know they hadn't ordered them yet, unless they lied to you & said they did. Really, it's their loss. Just roll with it. I'm <1mo away and my MOH dropped out and one GM doesn't have his flight yet. Sooooo, I have no idea what's going to happen there.

dogsandfrogs · March 2012

Assuming you asked them about their budget before you chose a dress, they have removed themselves from the wedding party. There is nothing wrong with uneven sides.

That said, I find it hard to believe that their lack of dresses didn't come up until just now. I also find it interesting that your other post is about not having a caterer yet either...

lkjpanama · March 2012

If I was in this situation, I would get a little creative assuming i still wanted them in the wedding after that!. It sound like you have 4 girls all together so why not just make the 2 girls that don't have a dress buy a different dress that is available now but in a different color. For example my colors are white black and hot pink and my girls are wearing black dresses but if this happened I would have the other girls buy a conpletely different dress in hot pink at a place where they have them in stock. And then have them stand in alternating colors. It will look like you did it on purpose and you don't have to worry about them "mismatching"

MiksChick23 · March 2012

If I was in your shoes, I'd be extremely hurt. But I'd have been hurt back when the deadline (you DID give them one, right?) passed and they never ordered. To accept the honor and back out (unless there is a valid reason) is almost as insulting as being kicked out. =( Boo. Don't go out of your way to find new stuff for them, I'd just let each of your girls who actually fulfilled one of their only 2 duties (to buy the dress and show up) be escorted by 2 GM.

I

mbcdefg · March 2012

Ditto PPs - did you ask them for a budget before you told them what they'd be spending? Did you give them a deadline to order? I don't get why they'd be OK with the dress and then all of a sudden not want to be in your wedding anymore ... one girl flaking out, maybe, but TWO girls makes me think there's more to the story here and there's something on your end that we aren't hearing.

Anyway, lkj has a good idea, about asking them to buy another kind of dress so that you have two and two. If you go this route, make sure you get their budgets BEFORE you pick something out!

If you wind up with 2:4, then just go with it. I don't get why you think it'd look "crazy." People walk in and out of rooms all the time in uneven groups and nobody's ever died from the sight of it. WTF would be so weird about the girls being escorted by two guys each?

TiffannieF · March 2012

Well it's too late for me to go over the you should have given them a deadline, ask for budget, etc etc.

The girls took themselves out of the WP. Obviously even if you found a dress they still do not want to be in the WP. Could be finical reasons, could be personal reasons, could be something with the friendship, could be no reason.

It's unfortunate but the 2 and 4 will look great and your wedding day will be awesome!

meganpow87 · March 2012

I agree, any adult should be prepared for a wedding. They did in fact remove themselves despite excuses (budget, timeline, style...) since they didn't contact you before two flipping weeks before your big day.

Deep Breath.

Relax.

The wedding will be fine, have two guys escort one girl ORRRR have groomsmen and bridesmaids walk in seperately (no one gets escorted) like GM BM GM GM BM GM?

Good Luck!

t12ubeauty · March 2012

You could have 2 GM escort each BM as PP mentioned. You could also have the GM enter together at the front of the room (assuming there is an entrance near the altar) and then the BM walked down the aisle by themselves. I had not seen it done like that before, but interestingly enough I saw that at the last 2 weddings I attended. Not sure if you would like that, but it's just another idea to consider should you ultimately end up with only 2 BM.

slknight · March 2012

Those two girls made thier own decision by not buying the dress and not telling you. Assuming they are grown adults they should know better than to wait that long. Go with the two that were on top of things and move on.

Bridesmaid issues.

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