Dress shame? No way, I paid 70% less than the store wanted > :(

rodigsorange · January 2013

So I tried dozens of dresses on at about 5 different shops, but kept coming back to one particular dress. I couldn't see paying the full $1100 for it, so I kept looking at other dresses. I ended up on ebay the other night and saw the dress, for about 75% off. It's a sample dress, but in my size. I bought it.

When the dress comes in, I'll have it assessed and dry cleaned for my day.

Now, my query is, should I tell people that I got it for cheaps? I value my financial prudence and being able to pay off my student loans a few years after college. I have a friend who was scandalized that my friend (who she doesn't know) cut the train off her dress rather than do a bustle. I don't want to tell her that I got the dress for what I got it for, and from where. Is it going to be considered a bad luck dress? I'm already nervous about a divorced friend of mine who offered me her wedding veil...

Has anyone else heard anything about this, or have experience on the matter?

Maggie0829 · January 2013

Why would you go around telling anyone how much you spent on anything whether it is $1 or $1,000,000?

If someone asks how much it was (even though that is extremely rude), I would respond with "It was within my budget."

CA.Giraffe · January 2013

The only person who knows how much my dress cost is me. I stayed within budget the same way you did, buying a sample gown. It's nobody else's business, except maybe FI's. In my case, he doesn't care because he knows I didn't spend a lot of money.

rodigsorange · January 2013

It's a question that comes up. My friend with the cut off train ended up spending about 20k for her wedding so I'd have a realistic expectation of how much is alloted to what. She and I went over this when she showed me her wedding budget in preparation for my wedding budget quest.

For people who've asked, I link them the dress (with the price listed on there) from the designer's website. If I were upfront about it, I would link them the ebay link. I'm glad that I found the dress that I really liked and it cost me around $300. I'm not sure how I feel advertising it.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dress-shame-no-way-i-paid-70-less-than-the-store-wanted?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:802c3d63-42e3-4355-a2db-1c96e6285080Post:fba2d755-595c-4b9b-bed9-cf50b9c16daf">Re: Dress shame? No way, I paid 70% less than the store wanted > :(</a>:
[QUOTE]It's a question that comes up. My friend with the cut off train ended up spending about 20k for her wedding so I'd have a realistic expectation of how much is alloted to what. She and I went over this when she showed me her wedding budget in preparation for my wedding budget quest. <strong>For people who've asked, I link them the dress (with the price listed on there) from the designer's website</strong>. If I were upfront about it, I would link them the ebay link. I'm glad that I found the dress that I really liked and it cost me around $300. I'm not sure how I feel advertising it.
Posted by rodigsorange[/QUOTE]

Again, why are you doing this? Unless the people asking are paying for your wedding it is nobodies dang business.

christyyyjoy · January 2013

I just bought my dress from a resale shop for $50, and I couldn't be more pleased! It's very similar to my favorite dress I tried on at a boutique, and I'm going to take it to a seamstress to have it fitted and change the neckline. The tags were cut out, so I don't know anything about the designer, wihch is kind of a bummer, but I love the dress so much, and I can't wait to make it mine.

I definitely wouldn't worry about it being a "bad luck dress"... if anything, it's bad luck that such a beautiful dress wasn't being used! You're giving a special garment a new life. I'm sure that after it's fitted, it'll really feel like Yours and you won't be thinking of it as a discount dress.

I don't anticipate anyone asking how much I paid for my dress, but if anyone asks where I got it, I'm certainly not ashamed to say I got it from a resale shop (which I think sounds nicer than saying "thrift store"). I'm known for being pretty thrifty, though, and I'm sure most of the people at my wedding are expecting me to have a used dress. And actually, I'll probably end up divulging how little I spent because I'm so pleased that I'm getting exactly what I wanted! In your case, though, if someone asks where you bought it, you could just say "It's a (designer name) dress", and if they persist, you could just say you bought it online after trying it on at a shop. Or you could just lie!

But I, for one, am so excited for you! Your situation is even better than mine because you were able to find your exact designer dress—in your size, no less! Congratulations! Now you can spend a little extra money on jewlery guilt-free if you choose

Avion22 · January 2013

I've been married twice, in two different dresses, and not a single person had the audacity to ask how much either of my dresses cost. Not even either of my husbands. But then again, I don't normallly get asked how much ANYTHING I own costs.

If people do ask, and you feel comfortable, then tell them. You don't have to brag about it, just say, "I got a great deal on a sample" or "I found it online for discount."

If you don't want to tell anyone, just say "I was lucky to find something within by budget" or my personal favorite, "Why do you want to know?"

erinlin25 · January 2013

I think you are over-thinking this! Its nobodys business what you paid for your dress so don't tell them! If anyone asks me I just say it was under my budget and move on. Only people who needed to know the cost was me and my dad since he paid for it. You can't fault a dress or a veil for a bad marriage--just the people who didn't make the marriage work are the only ones possibly at fault. If you go into your marriage afraid a dress/veil will curse your marriage that is a different issue. personally I bet my FI (and my dad) would have loved me more for saving that much money on my dress. My dad was happy enough I got it on sale and under budget, but would have been stoked if I found it for even less, so props for you and hope it works out when it arrives.

bridalmarch · January 2013

The only people I've discussed my dress price with were ladies from here wondering how much the designer was because they don't list price on their website, my FI because the money for it came from our joint account so we needed to set a budget, and my mom, who surprised me by paying for most of it. I suppose my sisters also know since they were there. No one has straight up asked though. That's just silly.

thejucheidea · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dress-shame-no-way-i-paid-70-less-than-the-store-wanted?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:802c3d63-42e3-4355-a2db-1c96e6285080Post:0e2a36f1-a175-42d4-b74e-28c14a7e0550">Re: Dress shame? No way, I paid 70% less than the store wanted > :(</a>:
[QUOTE]My brain refuses to even compute an entire social circle where women constantly ask each other how much they spent on X or Y. How incredibly rude and immature!
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

THIS.

odxjobs · January 2013

I sell new off-rack wedding dresses myself (http://www.labellebridals.net) and in my own personal life, I am a big fan of finding deals in practically everything I buy.

Youdon't have to share this information if you would be belittled by it, but then again, I have no shame in the fact that I like to save money!

Wedding dresses can be incredible peices of workmanship/artistry etc but one does not have to break the bank simply for one day if they can't do so in good conscience.

Hold your head up high, feel good about your street smarts and keep your secret if you have to.

rodigsorange · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dress-shame-no-way-i-paid-70-less-than-the-store-wanted?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:802c3d63-42e3-4355-a2db-1c96e6285080Post:b6715476-0864-4b3b-9032-5a43ea0fbe96">Re: Dress shame? No way, I paid 70% less than the store wanted > :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dress shame? No way, I paid 70% less than the store wanted /> :( : Again, why are you doing this? Unless the people asking are paying for your wedding it is nobodies dang business.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Sorry; I meant I was being asked what the dress looked like by friends who I don't see often enough and didn't do fittings with me. I sent them the designer's link, Alfred Angelo, and it happens to include the price of their dress in the listing. No one has asked me how much the dress was.

I was thrilled to find my dress, in my size, the way another poster described, and way under budget. It's also coming in next Thursday, so I get to hold onto it for a full year and appreciate it.

mcda04 · January 2013

You don't have to share links with your friends. If they want to see it and you're ok with it, just send them a picture of it. You can save an image on your computer for sharing purposes.

theelusive1 · January 2013

My answer to everything is $2.95 or two billion 9trillion 5 and 5 cents. Never a real answer because they should not be asking.

krckjm8 · January 2013

I agree!!! How rude and tacky if someone asks how much you paid!!

mashaesther · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dress-shame-no-way-i-paid-70-less-than-the-store-wanted?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:802c3d63-42e3-4355-a2db-1c96e6285080Post:a45009b0-8e87-4848-9a12-3c920013af33">Dress shame? No way, I paid 70% less than the store wanted > :(</a>:
[QUOTE]So I tried dozens of dresses on at about 5 different shops, but kept coming back to one particular dress. I couldn't see paying the full $1100 for it, so I kept looking at other dresses. I ended up on ebay the other night and saw the dress, for about 75% off. It's a sample dress, but in my size. I bought it. When the dress comes in, I'll have it assessed and dry cleaned for my day. Now, my query is, should I tell people that I got it for cheaps? I value my financial prudence and being able to pay off my student loans a few years after college. I have a friend who was scandalized that my friend (who she doesn't know) cut the train off her dress rather than do a bustle. I don't want to tell her that I got the dress for what I got it for, and from where. Is it going to be considered a bad luck dress? I'm already nervous about a divorced friend of mine who offered me her wedding veil... Has anyone else heard anything about this, or have experience on the matter?
Posted by rodigsorange[/QUOTE]

<div>I bought my dress for $20 at a thrift store and with a little alteration and dry cleaning I know it'll look great (wedding's in 7 months). I also will feel proud of myself for letting my thrifty nature be reflected in my choice of wedding attire. You should also be proud of yourself for finding a good deal on your dress!</div>

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