Wedding Party

Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses

What is a reasonable price range for bridesmaids' dresses? I have no clue as I've only been in one wedding and the bride's mother made the dresses so I only had to spend $60 for the fabric.I found a dress I really like but it's $265 and I know that is steep for a few of my bridesmaids. Should I look for some less expensive dresses or is this a reasonable amount to ask them to spend?

Re: Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses

  • You should first ask your girls what they can afford. Ask them individually. Whatever is the lowest number is what your dress should cost. There is no average cost of a dress....some girls spend well into $400 while others get dresses from their own closets.
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  • Mine are about $250 (designer Jim Hjelm).  I felt bad asking them to pay this much, but they were all okay with it.  I agree with PP - you should talk to each of your BMs individually before picking a dress.  You don't want to put any of them in an uncomfortable position if they cannot afford the dress you chose.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2010
    You should go to each BM individually, and ask her what budget she has in mind for a BM dress.  Then start shopping from there.  If the dress you want is over their budget, you can pay the difference.  

    If you pick a dress and ask them if the price is ok, most of them will tell you it's fine, even it if isn't, because they don't want to rock the boat.  Ask for a number before you show them anything.  

    But really, anything over 150-200 is pretty high.  
  • I e-mailed my two BMs and asked what they wanted to spend, and they both said $200 or less was fine. We got Ann Taylor dresses for $129 each during a sale.
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  • My Melissa Sweet dresses for the bridesmaids are $260.  I got them a 15% discount by buying my wedding dress at Priscilla as well.  The dress I selected is wearable again and not too bridesmaidy.  Though more expensive, my maid of honor and I felt the other bridesmaid would willing to invest in the dress.  I haven't asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids yet, but when I do, I have an estimate of what it will cost.  If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be.  I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.) 
  • [QUOTE] If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be.  I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.) [/QUOTE]

    So you'd tell your friend that because you have expensive taste and didn't ask her for her budget, she should just not be a BM?

    Ask your BMs in advance for their budgets and THEN pick out the attire.

    A $260 BM dress borders on the absurd in price.
  • I agree with pp's. But for me, I thought it was way riduculous to spend $250 on a dress esp by the time you add accessories and shoes unless they already have some of that. If you are not paying for them, you need to keep in mind their budgets. I fell in love with ones at David's Bridal that were all under $125. All of my girls love them and they are definitely very wearable again. My cousin even told me her hubby is going to have to take her out in it bc she loves it so much on her. Just don't go being a bridezilla thinking you have to have the most expensive bm dresses, esp in these tough economic times.
  • Mine said under $300 was fine - but I think that's a lot of money to spend on a dress, period, let alone something you probably won't wear again and didn't pick out.  I'm going with a David's Bridal dress that is $150.  I feel like they are H&M like - you can have the latest styles but don't have to pay over $300.  But they screwed me over by discontinuing the dress so you have to factor that in. 
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  • Ask them what their budget is, don't put them on the spot by saying "Hey, is $265 ok?". Once you figure out what they can all afford, you can begin looking for dresses.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_cost-of-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1df36acf-62c9-42cb-807f-6b09430c691ePost:e1c71be4-abef-4ea0-9781-b69d58a3b034">Re: Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]My Melissa Sweet dresses for the bridesmaids are $260.  I got them a 15% discount by buying my wedding dress at Priscilla as well.  The dress I selected is wearable again and not too bridesmaidy.  Though more expensive, my maid of honor and I felt the other bridesmaid would willing to invest in the dress.  I haven't asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids yet, but when I do, I have an estimate of what it will cost.  If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be.  I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.) 
    Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

    im confused, so the dress is more important than your friends? Most of the dresses I like are $250 and up (Alvina Valenta, Hjelm, Wang) so once I ask my maids their budget I'll pay the difference of the lowest budget. So like if dress costs $300 and one BM budget is $90 and the others are $200, I will put $210 towards everyones dress. I think that's the most fair way to do it if you don't want to pick a less expensive dress.
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  • I found a designer that I loved, and all the dresses in the fabric/length I wanted were $200.  So I asked the ladies if that was affordable for them, and they said yes.  I ended up adding my last BM months after the others (not to even out numbers or anything, promise!), and since she's still in school, I offered to cover half of the price so she could be a BM. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_cost-of-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1df36acf-62c9-42cb-807f-6b09430c691ePost:b57a5be4-be10-4c0d-ac91-76a399eed3c2">Re: Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses : im confused, so the dress is more important than your friends? <strong>Most of the dresses I like are $250 and up (Alvina Valenta, Hjelm, Wang) so once I ask my maids their budget I'll pay the difference of the lowest budget.</strong> So like if dress costs $300 and one BM budget is $90 and the others are $200, I will put $210 towards everyones dress. I think that's the most fair way to do it if you don't want to pick a less expensive dress.
    Posted by jeanna85[/QUOTE]

    This is really generous and also appropriate. Good for you.

    [QUOTE]My Melissa Sweet dresses for the bridesmaids are $260.  I got them a 15% discount by buying my wedding dress at Priscilla as well.  The dress I selected is wearable again and not too bridesmaidy.  <strong>Though more expensive, my maid of honor and I felt the other bridesmaid would willing to invest in the dress.</strong>  I haven't asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids yet, but when I do, I have an estimate of what it will cost.  <strong>If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be.</strong>  I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.) 
    Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

    This is neither and is just ridiculous. Aside from what PPs have said (seriously, you don't want your best friends standing up for you if they can't swing the cost? they're not very good friends then), what if that dress doesn't look good on everyone? You sound pretty pompous if you and a friend are deciding what you think another friend would be willing to invest in. Nobody decides my investments except me.

    OP, find out your friends' budgets individually first, then pick a dress that looks good on them and is in their budgets. I think anything much over $200 is a lot unless your friends have a lot of money. Would I buy a $260 dress for a friend's wedding if I could afford it? Yes, but it would hurt my heart. Would I really appreciate it being more like $160? Also yes.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_cost-of-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1df36acf-62c9-42cb-807f-6b09430c691ePost:e1c71be4-abef-4ea0-9781-b69d58a3b034">Re: Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]My Melissa Sweet dresses for the bridesmaids are $260.  I got them a 15% discount by buying my wedding dress at Priscilla as well.  The dress I selected is wearable again and not too bridesmaidy.  Though more expensive, my maid of honor and I felt the other bridesmaid would willing to invest in the dress.  I haven't asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids yet, but when I do, I have an estimate of what it will cost.  If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be.  I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.) 
    Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

    Don't fool yourself into thinking that your BM dress is wearable again - 95% of them aren't.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_cost-of-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1df36acf-62c9-42cb-807f-6b09430c691ePost:e1c71be4-abef-4ea0-9781-b69d58a3b034">Re: Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]My Melissa Sweet dresses for the bridesmaids are $260.  I got them a 15% discount by buying my wedding dress at Priscilla as well.  The dress I selected is wearable again and not too bridesmaidy.  Though more expensive, my maid of honor and I felt the other bridesmaid would willing to invest in the dress.  I haven't asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids yet, but when I do, I have an estimate of what it will cost.  If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be.  I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.) 
    Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

    <div>Wow.  I knew people get ridiculous about their weddings, but to flat out tell your friends that a dress is more important than they are, wow.  You should be ashamed.  </div>
  • I found a dress I loved for $275 but my BMs/Friends couldn't spend that (I asked in advance) so I passed it by and found a cheaper dress ($155). they are all happy. I'm happy because my friends are in the wedding and i'm not un-asking them over a dress. Get your priorities straight. Also, greeter is not a great honor...
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  • LoveBugBabyLoveBugBaby member
    First Comment
    edited April 2010
    I went one day with my girls and they all tried on dresses, I wanted them to pick their own dresses!  Luckily, they all really liked the same one and just agreed on it (I thought it was going to be so much harder to get 8 girls to agree... haha).  It ended up being $208 with tax and shipping.  Every wedding I've been in (which is about 5 now) our dresses were always between $150 and about $220.  I kind of feel like my girls spent a lot, but then remind myself that they could have picked any dress they wanted and they all agreed on the same one!

    Allowing them to choose and talking to them first about it prevents any bitterness towards spending too much!
  • Before people start calling me pompous, just realize I wrote that message in a hurry and I'm not going to phrase things that way to them.  I also wrote my reponse right after I woke up, and I was pretty groggy and out of it from getting four hours of sleep, hehe. :-)

    My friends are financially well off, and I'm having a formal wedding.  I got them a discount on the dress, and it's one of the 5% of dresses that are wearable again.  I haven't asked them to be my bridesmaids yet (except for two of them, and they love the dress so much they'd rather buy the super nice dress that requires $100 more than a cheaper dress they don't like and will throw out after one wedding).   I also know it will go with all of their body types, because they're all petite like me.

    I think it's also important to consider that $250 means different things in different parts of the country.  In San Francisco where I'm from, everything just costs more.  A dress costing $250 including taxes isn't as bad here where salaries are higher.  You have to look at purchasing power parity where you live. 

    I was just presenting an alternative point of view to the issue.  I think your other ideas are great.  Definitely ask your bridesmaid for a price range and be respectful of that.  But at least in my case, I would be bewildered by my bridesmaid if she complained of the dress being too expensive when she herself earns a lot of money, much more so than me.  If she complains about that, I would get the sense that being a bridesmaid doesn't really mean much for her, and I can give her a smaller role in the wedding if she prefers.  That's all I meant; I definitely would not put the dress above a friendship.  :-)

  • Salaries are higher, but I was also under the impression that the cost of living there is insane.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_cost-of-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1df36acf-62c9-42cb-807f-6b09430c691ePost:fc218fa4-f509-46c8-aef6-676582a9b924">Re: Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it's also important to consider that $250 means different things in different parts of the country.  In San Francisco where I'm from, everything just costs more.  A dress costing $250 including taxes isn't as bad here where salaries are higher.  You have to look at purchasing power parity where you live.
    Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

    I'm from the Bay Area. 2 of my BMs currently live and work in San Francisco. $250 is expensive. It's not outrageous, but it's not cheap. I still think anything over $200 is a lot, so the "well in SF things just cost more" argument doesn't sway me.

    And I still think that it's inappropriate of you to decide for anyone else that something will be a good investment - that's my main issue. If your friends can afford a $250 dress or even a $400 dress then great! But until you ask them rather than assuming that because they make decent money (or at least appear to) they'll be ok shelling out a significant amount of cash on a BM dress, you don't get to say that.
  • P.S. I should also add that I completely understand what it is like not having enough money for dress.  I got laid off from my job last November, and I lack income except for unemployment insurance.
  • FWIW, my MOH lives in NYC - an area that's also extremely high-priced.

    Her budget - as were the budgets of my other two BMs, was under $150 for a dress.

    Don't base your selection on the area or what you think they can afford.  Ask them for a budget and then go shopping.
  • GJones27GJones27 member
    First Comment
    edited April 2010
    Once again, I apologize if my words offended anybody.  I didn't mean to.  Thanks for pointing out other ideas; I will reconsider the dress and take into account your views.  Some of your arguments didn't even cross my mind earlier (and this is coming from someone who can't even financially afford to sign up for a gym and has to rely on parents/relatives for help with the wedding!)

    However, I was deeply hurt and saddened by people telling me to be "ashamed of myself" and that I was "pompous."  People in life always tell me I'm a very gracious, kind, and thoughtful individual, and posts online are easy to misinterpret.  I wish you all knew the real "me" behind my posts.  Hopefully, that would have avoided a misunderstanding.
  • You're right, we don't know the real you, and I understand that - I don't think that your first post necessarily sums up your character, and I'm willing to believe that you just had a combination of not realizing some things and phrasing other things pretty poorly. I can only speak for myself, but my negative comments are directed at what you were saying, not you as a person.

    I'm glad that you were able to look past those comments and take some good advice from all of this - I think that actually does say a lot to the kind of person you are, and I like it.
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