Not Engaged Yet

Timing is everything! Grrr.,...

My bf and I are not engaged but are going to get married sometime in the future. The question is when?! At first I was all excited because I wanted a nice yet cheap wedding which looks like about $7,000. Not cheap enough considering we have a kid and I need to go back to school. So I came up with the idea of doing an intimate close friends and family ceromony at a small chapel for about $1200 for everything. Welll If I'm married my husband will be part of my fafsa and other financial aid paperwork which means I wont get as much money as I would if I was 'single' GRRRR! I need to be smart but it has been my dream to get married in the year 2013. I just want to be his wife already! Help!
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Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...

  • First, calm down! You are not engaged yet, so do not worry about the costs or the logistics of the wedding. And yes, welcome to reality of the legal status of being married....it isn't just the fun of changing your name, having a wedding or the good feelings. It translates to the IRS identifying joint income.

    Like I mentioned before, you are not engaged yet and depending on when he does actually propose, a 2013 wedding may or may not be feasible. Also, what matters more to you, the legal status of your relationship/having a wedding or potentially saving a significant amount of money on school? That has to be your decision. If you are already building a life and healthy relationship together now, then getting married in 2013 will not necessary change that and  perhaps you wait until you two are more financially stable.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:7f40e2dd-c981-4efa-93e7-2e92846a4fd9">Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]My bf and I are not engaged but are going to get married sometime in the future. The question is when?! At first I was all excited because I wanted a nice yet cheap wedding which looks like about $7,000. Not cheap enough considering we have a kid and I need to go back to school. So I came up with the idea of doing an intimate close friends and family ceromony at a small chapel for about $1200 for everything. Welll If I'm married my husband will be part of my fafsa and other financial aid paperwork which means I wont get as much money as I would if I was 'single' GRRRR! I need to be smart but it has been my dream to get married in the year 2013. I just want to be Mrs. Keegan Santos already! Help!
    Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]


    yeah. don't fret. maybe your boyfriend is just waiting for the perfect time and moment to drop the words. :)
  • For one, slow your roll, you aren't engaged yet. Two, there are ways that you don't have to include your husband's income, ie if you file your taxes as married filing separately. Thirdly, just relax and enjoy your relationship as it is. Don't waste this precious time by wishing it was the future already.
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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

  • Thanks you guys. We have been pre planning together and I already told him flat out that I hate long engagments yet short ones too. A year long engagment is perfect fo r us. I'm just a planner I like to know what's ahead of me. I stress like crazy at not knowing what's going on. We have a beautiful little boy that we are both madly in love with. So I just need to focus on him. My bf wants to have a nice elegant wedding but I can to celebrate in style for our 10 year anniversary. I grew up surrounded by divorce and I never thought I would ever want to get married so i would rather celebrate 10 years of happiness than go all out and possible get divorced a year later.... Sorry to sound so negative. But I think its romantic lol
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:d207cba4-2c28-4b5e-8c59-0daf24354e4e">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks you guys. We have been pre planning together and I already told him flat out that I hate long engagments yet short ones too. A year long engagment is perfect fo r us. I'm just a planner I like to know what's ahead of me. I stress like crazy at not knowing what's going on. We have a beautiful little boy that we are both madly in love with. So I just need to focus on him. My bf wants to have a nice elegant wedding but I can to celebrate in style for our 10 year anniversary. I grew up surrounded by divorce and I never thought I would ever want to get married so i would rather celebrate 10 years of happiness than go all out and possible get divorced a year later.... Sorry to sound so negative. But I think its romantic lol
    Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]

    <div>STOP PLANNING A WEDDING BEFORE YOU'RE ENGAGED.</div>
    I french with my man
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  • umm yeah this is the not engaged yet message board if your going to hate get off
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:605148c6-e23d-4bdc-a84c-32c793e095a0">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]umm yeah this is the not engaged yet message board if your going to hate get off
    Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]

    <div>No, you did not.  Try again.</div>
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • These ladies do not condone pre-planning or the like.  Yes, it's a board for not engaged yet, but it is also not a board for girls that are overly enthusiastic about pre-planning and having every detail down before they get engaged/have a boyfriend.

    Slow your roll and relax. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:605148c6-e23d-4bdc-a84c-32c793e095a0">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]umm yeah this is the not engaged yet message board if your going to hate get off
    Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]

    Ok, we started off being nice.....but you need to read the sticky titled <em>New? Read this first!!</em> at the top of the Not Engaged Yet board. The majority of the women on here will agree with peekabo (i.e., look at her post count, she has been here a while and knows what she is talking about).

    Like I said before, slow down and actually listen to the advice we are offering. After all, you asked for it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:de4c67e5-9516-40b0-bd07-1ed51259748d">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,... : Ok, we started off being nice.....but you need to read the sticky titled New? Read this first!! at the top of the Not Engaged Yet board. The majority of the women on here will agree with peekabo (i.e., look at her post count, she has been here a while and knows what she is talking about). Like I said before, slow down and actually listen to the advice we are offering. After all, you asked for it.
    Posted by bmo88[/QUOTE]

    ^This!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:605148c6-e23d-4bdc-a84c-32c793e095a0">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]umm yeah this is the not engaged yet message board if your going to hate get off
    Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]

    <div>Whoa whoa whoa. </div><div>
    </div><div>1) There was no "hate". If you had read the sticky at the top of the page like a good newb, then you'd understand that we do not deal with pre-planners here. </div><div>
    </div><div>2) You, sweetheart, can take a hike. </div>



  • edited August 2012

    My initial post pertained exactly to what the title of this forum is.  I am "Not yet engaged" posting messages about planning a wedding on a wedding planner site whose forum subject says "Not yet engaged".  If the purpose of this forum is not for people planning a wedding who are not yet engaged as the title implies, then perhaps you should change it to something else such as "Promiscuous morons that can't see past the front of their own nose" or better yet you could call it "OCD pipe dream".  Either way reading the replies makes me laugh a little, and become a bit nauseous.  Especially that peekaboo user, lmao, wtf are you even doing on this board then, you're second reply was completely irrelevant, and then everyone else started defending you, which makes me wonder if the Internet users of today speak their own highly incoherent and infantile language, I mean she's obviously a troll, but usually trolls are at least intelligent, that’s where their humor comes from, their wit.  But I digress, it’s clear this board isn't meant for what the title is, so troll on and plan your fake weddings, I’ll go plan my REAL one now XD.

  • You are angry. Anyway, It's "Not Engaged Yet"...not the other way around.
    image
  • In Response to Re:Timing is everything! Grrr.,...:[QUOTE]My initial post pertained exactly to what the title of this forum is.nbsp; I am "Not yet engaged" posting messages about planning a wedding on a wedding planner site whose forum subject says "Not yet engaged".nbsp; If the purpose of this forum is not for people planning a wedding who are not yet engaged as the title implies, then perhaps you should change it to something else such as "Promiscuous morons that can't see past the front of their own nose" or better yet you could call it "OCD pipe dream".nbsp; Either way reading the replies makes me laugh a little, and become a bit nauseous.nbsp; Especially that peekaboo user, lmao, wtf are you even doing on this board then, you're second reply was completely irrelevant, and then everyone else started defending you, which makes me wonder if the Internet users of today speak their own highly incoherent and infantile language, I mean she's obviously a troll, but usually trolls are at least intelligent, thatrsquo;s where their humor comes from, their wit.nbsp; But I digress, itrsquo;s clear this board isn't meant for what the title is, so troll on and plan your fake weddings, Irsquo;ll go plan my REAL one now XD. Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]

    I can't wait for my fake wedding. It's going to be the best fake wedding ever.

    Don't let the door hit you on the way out.



  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited August 2012
    Why don't you sit down and shut up before you get slapped.

    OBVIOUSLY you did not either lurk, nor did you read the sticky at the top of the page.  You know, the one that says "New here?  READ THIS FIRST".  If you had, you'd know we don't farking encourage preplanning.  Generally because it leads to pressuring someone to propose before they're ready, and relationships fall apart in a blaze of glory.  We are the bloody experts on that one.  We have no control over the title of the board, and we don't agree with the tagline underneath of it.

    Secondly, someone hold my weave.  You want to know why people jumped to my defense as soon as you told me to GTFO?  Because I'm a reg on this board.  I go out and have drinks with these women.  RDR is one of my best friends IRL.

    So, you, my dear, can GTFO and let me tell you, we're going to be oh so heartbroken.
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • ... what the hell just happened?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:bba55ddc-9b70-4dbf-ad91-22c7cd75d676">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]My initial post pertained exactly to what the title of this forum is.  I am "Not yet engaged" posting messages about planning a wedding on a wedding planner site whose forum subject says "Not yet engaged".  If the purpose of this forum is not for people planning a wedding who are not yet engaged as the title implies, then perhaps you should change it to something else such as "Promiscuous morons that can't see past the front of their own nose" or better yet you could call it "OCD pipe dream".  Either way reading the replies makes me laugh a little, and become a bit nauseous.  Especially that peekaboo user, lmao, wtf are you even doing on this board then, you're second reply was completely irrelevant, and then everyone else started defending you, which makes me wonder if the Internet users of today speak their own highly incoherent and infantile language, I mean she's obviously a troll, but usually trolls are at least intelligent, that’s where their humor comes from, their wit.  But I digress, it’s clear this board isn't meant for what the title is, so troll on and plan your fake weddings, I’ll go plan my REAL one now XD.
    Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]

    Gesh girl did you sit on something sharp earlier or are you always like this?

    First, off the tittle is meant to tell that we aren't engaged yet, but are in serious relationships and might soon be engaged.

    Second, off you need to do your homework before jumping into the middle of a board and yelling at regs. Seriously, get out of high school drama already.

    Third, we DO NOT condon or aprove of most if any preplaning. This is due to the fact that most girls that preplan put that fake wedding before their relationships with their SOs. This causes many problems, stress over nothing, and fights; all of which can lead to the end of said relationship.

    I hope you can understand our board a bit better now.
    Even though I highly doubt you read any of that.
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Excuse me, I got the title wrong....meaning however, remains the same.

    The fake wedding part doesn't apply to you obviously, but then again, why are you even on this board, it seems fairly obvious that you have a groom and your engaged.  That, according to other posters, disqualifies you from this particular forum.

    And Peekaboo.....your stupidity astounds me lol, would you mind explaining to me how you're going to slap me, this is the INTERNET.  And unless you know how to hack theknot (which i seriously doubt for obvious reasons Wink), you won't find out where I live....do you honestly think I live in San Antonio, or Texas for that matter?  I barely got through your post as my eyes began to bleed, but from what I can tell, you are extremely overdramatic, which is probably why your relationship (I assume thats what you're talking about) actually failed, not preplanning lol.
  • ZOMG you guys!  We've been using the board wrong all these years!  Thank you, Santos, for bringing it to our attention!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:bba55ddc-9b70-4dbf-ad91-22c7cd75d676">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]  Either way reading the replies makes me laugh a little, and become a bit <strong>nauseous</strong>. 
    Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]

    Also, since you seem so concerned with taking everything literally, you may want to look up  the bolded word.  It doesn't mean what you think it means.
  • Actually, my last relationship failed because he was an epic douchenozzle, and it took these girls 6 months of saying "You deserve so much better" for me to realize it.

    My current relationship is fantastic, and when he started trying to preplan a wedding, I told him to knock that shite off - we weren't doing anything until we were engaged.  And now we talk about poop.
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:7f40e2dd-c981-4efa-93e7-2e92846a4fd9">Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]My bf and I are not engaged but are going to get married sometime in the future. The question is when?! At first I was all excited because I wanted a nice yet cheap wedding which looks like about $7,000. Not cheap enough considering we have a kid and I need to go back to school. So I came up with the idea of doing an intimate close friends and family ceromony at a small chapel for about $1200 for everything. Welll If I'm married my husband will be part of my fafsa and other financial aid paperwork which means I wont get as much money as I would if I was 'single' GRRRR! I need to be smart but it has been my dream to get married in the year 2013. I just want to be Mrs. Keegan Santos already! Help!
    Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>ZOMG!!! Please go to weddingbee, they have a hive just for waitingbees!! They'll help you make the best, most romantical decision. Since divorce or a break up isn't possible when two people are so much in luuuuuuurve like you two are. 

    </div>
    --------------------------------------------------------------


     
    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • Also, it was probably not the best idea to tell us your BF's full name.

    Or is he your FI?  I only ask because I see what looks like an engagement ring on your hand in one of his facebook photos.
  • audrewuhaudrewuh member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited August 2012
    Dude, your BF/FI/H has some "awesome" webcam skillz. <div>
    </div><div>Oh, and I now know your name. And I know where you live. </div><div>
    </div><div>Ahhh, the internet.</div><div>
    </div><div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:1a06817c-405a-44c1-a5f1-0b5a8d979cd0">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Excuse me, I got the title wrong....meaning however, remains the same. The fake wedding part doesn't apply to you obviously, but then again, why are you even on this board, it seems fairly obvious that you have a groom and your engaged.  That, according to other posters, disqualifies you from this particular forum. And Peekaboo.....your stupidity astounds me lol, would you mind explaining to me how you're going to slap me, this is the INTERNET.  <strong>And unless you know how to hack theknot</strong> (which i seriously doubt for obvious reasons ), you won't find out where I live....do you honestly think I live in San Antonio, or Texas for that matter?  I barely got through your post as my eyes began to bleed, but from what I can tell, you are extremely overdramatic, which is probably why your relationship (I assume thats what you're talking about) actually failed, not preplanning lol.
    Posted by MamaSantos13[/QUOTE]</div><div>
    </div><div>Oh, and I didn't have to hack the knot.</div>
    --------------------------------------------------------------


     
    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • I don't think I agree that Keegan looks like Conan O'Brien.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:2bd6164d-8afe-4109-be98-4ac0ec533848">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, it was probably not the best idea to tell us your BF's full name. Or is he your FI?  I only ask because I see what looks like an engagement ring on your hand in one of his facebook photos.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    Nice job Elle. I guess somebody should learn how to set better privacy settings on Facebook.....
  • Well, I feel completely validated in all aspects of everything now.
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:ed1e99e0-9235-4083-9665-8019dec2c65e">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,... : Nice job Elle. I guess somebody should learn how to set better privacy settings on Facebook.....
    Posted by bmo88[/QUOTE]

    ...or just not divulge a full name on a public forum.  Jeebus, internet safety is NOT that hard.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_timing-is-everything-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be9953e3-60cd-49cc-af2a-df48dd21ae98Post:f472ebdb-b588-42ba-a73a-9e94212c09bf">Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Timing is everything! Grrr.,... : ...or just not divulge a full name on a public forum.  Jeebus, internet safety is NOT that hard.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    That too :) But being unsearchable on social media sites definitely helps :)
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