honeyfund

jjeanhilton · February 2013

Has anyone used this honeyfund website to create a honeymoon registry?
http://www.honeyfund.com/SampleRegistries

The have the trip that FI and I were looking at, so I wanted to check it's legitmacy. We've been living together for about a year, and have a house full of stuff. I've seen honeymoon registries done before, but never through this site. Any feedback on it?

Jells2dot0 · February 2013

I recommend doing a search on this topic using the search function of this board. There are a lot of opinions on this topic, most of them negative. I personally feel that they are not the way anyone should go, a couple should book a trip they can afford. Honeymoon registries are just another way of asking for cash. You do not actually receive the item you are asking for (a massage, for example) but the guests think they are getting that for you. Also, the fund charges a fee, so you would actually get less money than if the guest just gifted you with a card and check. I also =get a little perplexed when girls come on here and say that they don't need anything b/c they live with their FI already. My DH has owned a home since 1989; I have owned a home since 2004. We have lived together for over 6 years. Yet, when we did a registry (a small one in the case someone wanted to provide a gift, even though I didn't have a shower or large wedding) and we thought of a TON of things we could put on there! I recommend jut creating a small traditional registry to cover those guests who wish to provide a gift but won't ever gift money (there are some out there!) and the other guests will get the hint and most likely just gift you a check if they wish to provide a gift.

jjeanhilton · February 2013

Oh I should of given our back story! Yes, I agree, there are a handful of things we could use. Our main reason for not having a traditional registry is becuause we live in South Carolina, but our familes are in Massachusetts and we will be flying up there to be married. I am unable to get enough time off from work to travel up there prior to the wedding for a shower, so I opted to not register. My immediate family has some grumbles about not registering, but my fear was that without a shower, the gifts wil be brought to the wedding and I will have to figure out a way to ship everything. To me, it's tacky to ask family and friends to not only buy for you but to handle the shipping, and of course there is no good way to say 'cash in lieu of gifts'. I thought that a honeymoon registry might be the right balance.. it would appease those who want to 'get us something' and I don't need to worry about shipping costs. We can afford the trip without it, but it would give those who want to gift us something the ability to do so.

Jells2dot0 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:631283e8-16ca-4ad9-88d8-3de85721bc04Post:8753d81d-3c05-4db4-9ec8-6d66d903b7c7">Re: honeyfund</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh I should of given our back story! Yes, I agree, there are a handful of things we could use. Our main reason for not having a traditional registry is becuause we live in South Carolina, but our familes are in Massachusetts and we will be flying up there to be married. I am unable to get enough time off from work to travel up there prior to the wedding for a shower, so I opted to not register. My immediate family has some grumbles about not registering, but my fear was that without a shower, the gifts wil be brought to the wedding and I will have to figure out a way to ship everything. To me, it's tacky to ask family and friends to not only buy for you but to handle the shipping, and of course there is no good way to say 'cash in lieu of gifts'. I thought that a honeymoon registry might be the right balance.. it would appease those who want to 'get us something' and I don't need to worry about shipping costs. We can afford the trip without it, but it would give those who want to gift us something the ability to do so.
Posted by jjeanhilton[/QUOTE]

Why not pay for shipping after the wedding? The amount of the shipping will be less than the cut that Honeyfund takes out of our registry for fees. Remember, you control what goes on your registry, so try picking smaller items that you know you need and that will ship easily. Also, I assume most people know you are traveling from out of state, so they will buy smaller gifts or provide cards with checks/cash inside. As the pp said, I am from the NE and I received mostly cash at my wedding. The gifts that were not cash were small and easily shippable. Personally, I'd rather pay shipping that possibly offend someone with a non-traditional registry that essentially asks for money.

hoffse · February 2013

OP, the correct etiquette is to have gifts shipped to the couple before the wedding - and that is something most guests take into account when purchasing a gift. If you want to minimize shipping charges, just register at amazon. Many many people these days have prime shipping, and even those who don't get free shipping for most orders that are over $25. I would bet that the vast majority of guests will spend more than that on a wedding gift for you (that's certainly been our experience so far).

What you are proposing instead is far more rude - it is deceptive to your guests who think you are getting a massage, but really you're getting their $100 gift minus a $7.50 service charge.

Personally, I am somebody who prefers to give physical gifts over cash, and if you don't have a registry I would just pick something out for you. You could either give me guidance by registering or you could hope I pick something out that is to your taste. But I never ever give cash, and it sounds like some of your relatives feel similarly (you mentioned there have been grumbles).

Ultimately, if you get gifts at the wedding it is your responsibility to get them shipped back. That is something that should be in your budget upfront. For what it's worth, if you had a registry I would ship the gift to you from the registry itself - which means it would go to whatever address you preferred. If you didn't, I would probably bring the gift with me physically to the wedding because I might not have your address or I might not know where you prefer gifts to be shipped (we are having gifts shipped to my parents' house, for instance). My point is, not registering is not going to prevent people from bringing gifts to the actual wedding, and it might actually incerase the number who do.

HobokensFury · February 2013

Here we go again...

alithebride · February 2013

no. just spread the word through your family that yuo're not registered anywhere. people will figure out what to do.
and pp is right-in S.NY no one gives boxed gifts for weddings-just checks or cash.

hoffse-it's a regional thing. no one here would know what to do with a boxed gift at a reception. boxed gifts are given at the shower only.

hoffse · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:631283e8-16ca-4ad9-88d8-3de85721bc04Post:08032bf0-4a47-4ccf-a8df-f99924ac4d22">Re: honeyfund</a>:
[QUOTE]no. just spread the word through your family that yuo're not registered anywhere. people will figure out what to do. and pp is right-in S.NY no one gives boxed gifts for weddings-just checks or cash. <strong>hoffse-it's a regional thing. no one here would know what to do with a boxed gift at a reception. boxed gifts are given at the shower only.
Posted by alithebride[/QUOTE]</strong>

<div>I understand that - but OP is also from South Carolina, and presumably she will be inviting some of her friends who are local? Very few southerners give cash at weddings (relatively speaking), so she needs to be prepared for boxed gifts even if they don't come from her NE family members.</div>

Maggie0829 · February 2013

No matter if you have a traditional registry or a HM registry (just don't) or no registry what so ever, there will still be people who bring a boxed gift to your wedding. You will still need to figure out a way to get that present be it large or small back home.

Just say no to HM registries for all the reasons PP have mentioned. Your case is not special nor is it the exception. HM registries are rude. Period.

staar987 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:631283e8-16ca-4ad9-88d8-3de85721bc04Post:f3221462-e7cc-40a2-95d1-949954e3ba99">honeyfund</a>:
[QUOTE]Has anyone used this honeyfund website to create a honeymoon registry? <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.honeyfund.com/SampleRegistries">http://www.honeyfund.com/SampleRegistries</a> <strong>The have the trip that FI and I were looking at</strong>, so I wanted to check it's legitmacy. We've been living together for about a year, and have a house full of stuff. I've seen honeymoon registries done before, but never through this site. Any feedback on it?
Posted by jjeanhilton[/QUOTE]

To the bolded: It sounds like you think that honeyfund has something to do with booking the trip. They don't. You book the trip, through whatever hotel or airline you want, and pay for it. Then you add things to your honeyfund that you want and say on there where you are going. And if people decide to use it, honeyfund sends you a check after your honeymoon minus their cut.

Just don't register for anything. And if you can't afford your own honeymoon now, just don't have one. Go on a great first anniversary trip or something.

ETA: I don't know why everything is centered, but I can't fix it.

winelover123 · February 2013

I don't have a problem with honeymoon funds so long as you do a traditional registry as well. Just remember that they take a percentage of what people give you so not registering/creating a small registry would be better. Assuming that most things you register with are relatively small, you should be able to just ship for a relatively low cost.

dazyabbey · February 2013

Honeyfund does not take a cut of the check. I have read three posts on here that said they do.
The only time they charge a fee is if you run it through PayPal. And then they just pass the PayPal fee to you. Most people do not do this.

OP,
I think you are confused what it would be used for though.

jjeanhilton · February 2013

I don't like the idea that Honeyfund might take a portion of the funds, I'll have to look into that. If that's the case, I'll skip it and skip registering all together. (Those same guests would presumable just bring cash to the wedding, and we can bring some along as spending money. Without having to take a cut.)

I don't mind shipping the few items that may show up, but I didn't want to mislead people by registering and not have a shower, causing them to think that they should buy something and bring to wedding. Though I like the idea of registering at amazon mentioned above.

thanks ladies.. I didn't mean to ruffle any feathers! I just was just honestly curious about the topic.

Laura&Austin2013 · March 2013

I made a honeyfund along with traditional registries, thought after reading some comments that HM registries are rude I'm second-guessing myself. They only charge service fees if you offer your guests the option to pay by credit or Paypal, and this is just because the registry service is free and they don't want to pay for your guests to use credit. The default option is for your guests to essentially label their cash gift so that it goes towards your honeymoon, so they'll get a little certificate that they'll print and physically attach to their cash or check. I think it's just fun for people to feel like they are contributing to something that the newlyweds will truly enjoy. We opted to make on because we couldn't think of very many items for the traditional "stuff" registry (besides furniture...which we need most but can't really register for), and though we are fully prepared to pay for the honeymoon ourselves, it's still an expense that would be gratefully lightened!

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