Not doing a seating chart?

Ken&Cass · February 2010

My fiancé mentioned it to me and I told him I'm simply not going to deal with the headache of making a seating chart. It's one less thing that I need to worry about, and I told him that if he wanted to do it he could go for it! Of course, he won't be...
Am I making a big mistake by not doing seating arrangements? People always end up sitting with who they like anyways. We are having a sit down dinner. I just don't see the point in telling adults where to sit, am I wrong in this? I should mention we only have a guest list of 75.

Lasairiona · February 2010

You have a 100% guarantee for mass chaos if you do not have seating arrangements. Couples and families always get split up if there is no assigned seating and people save seats for folks who don't even sit with them and do not give them up for anything even if some folks have nowhere left to sit. Your guest count is irrelevant. The only time you can get away with no assigned seating is if you are serving desserts or appetizers only.

AdeleDazeem · February 2010

Please have a seating chart. I'm getting stressed just thinking about your reception.

My aunt and uncle didn't have a seating chart at their wedding. My mother staked out the door until she was allowed in, made a mad dash to a table, drug several people and coats with her, and strung all the stuff over multiple chairs so we all could have a place to sit. And she was not alone in this behavior.

Doesn't coming to the reception calmly, getting a drink at the bar, perhaps stopping for a bite of cheese, and then finding your table sound so much more pleasant for your guests?

Ken&Cass · February 2010

LoL
"she was not alone in this behavior."
Well actually the guests are going to be at the reception site for about an hour and half before they start serving dinner so yes I would hope they would get a bite of cheese and a drink in that time.
I didn't have a seating chart for my first wedding dinner, which is why I wasn't going to hassle with it the second time around. I guess it does make the guests feel important though...
Last time all the tables were lined up except for like 4 of them, so everyone was all sitting at the same table anyways. It's only family coming so I'd hope they would have the decency to move and let each other sit where they would like.

trix1223 · February 2010

Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left.

It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive.

It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers.

It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?)

It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together.

It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8.

I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit.

Do table assignments.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

It depends. What's the norm in your area and families? If they are normally there, you need to do one. If open seating is the norm, you do not.

If you do decide to go with open seating, you need to provide about 20% extra seating. So for 75 guests, you need about 100 seats.

flutgrl1 · February 2010

people sit themselves at all other events. Don't buy into the hype that weddings are an exception. I went to a post funeral luncheon with 100+ people last week. Open seating It was fine. Extra chairs make it nice so guests can mingle and not be chained to their "assigned" seat/table.

Lasairiona · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:94206f6f-3611-4273-bd85-cde2c041ebd1Post:c81d2c8e-61aa-426f-b6ce-3433ada3f0d7">Re: Not doing a seating chart?</a>:
[QUOTE]people sit themselves at all other events. Don't buy into the hype that weddings are an exception. I went to a post funeral luncheon with 100+ people last week. Open seating It was fine. Extra chairs make it nice so guests can mingle and not be chained to their "assigned" seat/table.
Posted by flutgrl1[/QUOTE]
Why are you saying that weddings are the only events that "require" seating assignments? I've personally been to dinner events of all types (funerals, anniversary parties, holiday dinners even at home, church dinners, and the list goes on) of any size that have been incredibly chaotic because there was no assigned seating. No one is forcing anyone to sit at that particular table for longer than it takes to eat dinner. As soon as dinner is over, they can go wherever they want.

amandajean36 · February 2010

i would make a seating chart. at least assign tables - you don't have to assign seats. it makes it a lot less stressful for your guests, and you will assure that your mom doesn't get stuck at a table in the back (or something like that).

mbcdefg · February 2010

Suck it up and do one. It will make things easier on your guests. Don't just nix it because it's a bother to you.

charlsie26 · February 2010

if you don't do assigned seats, at least assign a table.

If you don't, you have to have extra tables/seats available. More tables mean more centerpieces and other rental items (that's if your having those extra, upgraded items)

When I go to weddings without assigned seating/tables it's a mad house. Trying to get everyone a seat and trying to find a table that fits everyone. I don't want to sit down at a table someone already sat at and drank out of the glass. I would want my own tablesetting and know that no one else sat there before I did.

soze82 · February 2010

I have only been to one wedding that had a seating chart and it was miserable because we did not know anybody at the table. All the other weddings I have been to did not have a seating chart and it was completely fine. We didn't encounter a mad house or a mad dash to a table.

cukimerrydoll · February 2010

With a small guest list, you can definitely get away with not having a hard-core seating chart, but it's a good idea to offer some direction. I've been to some weddings with no seating arrangements (about 50 people) and I was stuck sitting with people that I didn't like, because they were the only people I knew. I would have sat with my FH, but he was at the head table, and though I was the "unofficial wedding planner" - as the bride called me - I didn't get to spend much time with him at the reception.
For most of the reception I was pissed off and miserable.

The only arrangement you would really need is a few reserved tables for family (one of my uncles did it this way a few years ago), and - for people like me - a table reserved for SOs of the WP.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:94206f6f-3611-4273-bd85-cde2c041ebd1Post:b011c338-54c5-45d8-9d7e-c4e81ebd9141">Re: Not doing a seating chart?</a>:
[QUOTE]With a small guest list, you can definitely get away with not having a hard-core seating chart, but it's a good idea to offer some direction. I've been to some weddings with no seating arrangements (about 50 people) and I was stuck sitting with people that I didn't like, because they were the only people I knew. I would have sat with my FH, but he was at the head table, and though I was the "unofficial wedding planner" - as the bride called me - I didn't get to spend much time with him at the reception. For most of the reception I was pissed off and miserable. The only arrangement you would really need is a few reserved tables for family (one of my uncles did it this way a few years ago), and - for people like me - a table reserved for SOs of the WP.
Posted by cukimerrydoll[/QUOTE]

This is why you should never separate WP from their dates.

Blueyed228 · February 2010

Do the seating chart.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

I did a seating chart for my wedding, but it didn't make it to the reception place before everyone got there. Guess what? It was no big deal. Everyone managed to seat themselves just fine, and there were no problems. We had a sweetheart table for H and I and then everyone could sit wherever they wanted. It might have been more difficult with a larger wedding (we had less than 50 people) but it worked fine.

I <3 Seabass · February 2010

We did a seating chart for our wedding. But for our engagement party, which was about 50 people, there was no assigned seating. It worked out OK but people,

1. expected that there was a seating chart/escort cards so they were looking for it.

2. It worked out that everyone got to sit with who they wanted because there were a couple of no shows so there were extra seats at some tables. But had there been only 1 seat per person some families may have been split up.

Just some things to think about.

ladyluckwi · February 2010

I think it depends on your area, I have been to several weddings in the last few years and none have had seating charts. I didn't see a mass chaos or any rebuttle from the guests so it seems to work fine in my area. However, I'm planning to offer reserved seating for the immediate families to sit close to the head table.

felicia220 · February 2010

I don't understand this "no seating arrangement thing" Maybe its just not done it Jersey, but I have never been to a wedding were there wasn't a seating chart. Its really not that hard to put one together, I already did mine and my brain didn't explode or anything. Yeah its a pain in the ass, but not the end of the world. Also you are doing it for 75 people, I did it for over 300 people, and I survived. I agreed with 90% of the posts above, you need to have a seating chart.

felicia220 · February 2010

I have also never been to a wedding were people just sat with whoever they wanted anyways, maybe went over to the table to chat but never moved their seat to a different table.....this all sounds crazy to me!

trix1223 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:94206f6f-3611-4273-bd85-cde2c041ebd1Post:2267ad7e-9b30-4cbe-a649-9d98f31fad96">Re: Not doing a seating chart?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have only been to one wedding that had a seating chart and it was miserable because we did not know anybody at the table. All the other weddings I have been to did not have a seating chart and it was completely fine. We didn't encounter a mad house or a mad dash to a table.
Posted by soze82[/QUOTE]

Your experience was not the fault of the table assignment. It was the fault of a bride and groom who were thoughtful about seating their guests.

A gracious B&G will put the time in to be sure that all guests are seated with someone that they something in common with and will enjoy the party sitting with.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:94206f6f-3611-4273-bd85-cde2c041ebd1Post:c34723a4-fd28-4ac0-87f5-a549b029c731">Re: Not doing a seating chart?</a>:
[QUOTE]Please have a seating chart. I'm getting stressed just thinking about your reception. My aunt and uncle didn't have a seating chart at their wedding. My mother staked out the door until she was allowed in, made a mad dash to a table, drug several people and coats with her, and strung all the stuff over multiple chairs so we all could have a place to sit.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

<div>I have also done this. </div><div>
</div><div>Logistically, if you are having your guests decide on their entree before the wedding, how will the servers know who ordered what? </div><div>
</div><div>Do escort cards - place them on a table near the entrance. Assign people to a specific table and let them find a seat there.</div>

megk8oz · February 2010

DH and I had 100 guests at our wedding, and our venue actually required us to assign tables, so they knew how many how many tables to set up and and how many place settings to have at each.

Really, unless 90% of your guests all hate each other, assigning tables is not rocket science. Just group people with people they get along with. Like I said, we had 100 guests, and we had our chart done in an hour.

tracy_k · February 2010

You will be JUST FINE without a seating chart. Just have about ten more seats than guests and it will work out fine.

I've been to three or four smallish weddings like yours where there wasn't a chart, and it was not a problem at all.

I get that some folks have experienced problems with the "no chart" scenario, but you know your guest list and nobody here does. If you're confident your guests are laid-back enough to handle finding their own seats, and you're having a buffet or other more casual meal where the servers won't need to know what people ordered, you really should be just fine.

If you have a lot of high-maintenance folks on your list, you might want to just do a quick table assignment list to avoid the possibility of stress.

tenofcups4me · February 2010

It always cracks me up when people talk about how difficult a seating plan is. For my first wedding, we did ours in about 1/2 hour for 130 people. It's hardly rocket science and it helps ensure a smooth flow and comfort of your guests. I've never attended a sit-down meal of any kind that didn't have a seating plan, whether it was a wedding, shower, birthday or anniversary party at a restaurant, etc. It's really just common courtesy.

tracy_k · February 2010

It is not "common courtesy." It's one option among many when planning an event.

Other than weddings, I've never been to an event that had table assignments or a seating chart, and it's never been a problem, even at my best friend's wedding 3 years ago with 120 guests. People just got drinks and sat down, and everyone had a great time. There was no drama of any kind.

That said, I don't think it's that hard either. But it's certainly not mandatory, nor is it a guarantee of chaos, nor does the lack of table assignments equate to a lack of courtesy.

megk8oz · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:94206f6f-3611-4273-bd85-cde2c041ebd1Post:3f1d774a-2925-45b2-9f59-47f509933cbb">Re: Not doing a seating chart?</a>:
[QUOTE]You will be JUST FINE without a seating chart. Just have about ten more seats than guests and it will work out fine.
Posted by tracy_k[/QUOTE]

That depends on your venue. Like I said earlier, my venue required table assignments. We didn't have to have a full "10 tables of 10", they let us make smaller tables, but we had 100 guests, they were only giving us 100 place settings.

tracy_k · February 2010

I doubt she'd be asking the question if her venue required a seating chart.

megk8oz · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:94206f6f-3611-4273-bd85-cde2c041ebd1Post:49272c01-e568-4d2c-af17-a4e0d697a563">Re: Not doing a seating chart?</a>:
[QUOTE]I doubt she'd be asking the question if her venue required a seating chart.
Posted by tracy_k[/QUOTE]

No, but if her venue isn't giving her any "extra" seats (Which she never mentioned), then she really might want to re-think the "let everybody find their own chair" mentality.

I figured they weren't making her if she wanted to skip it, but if she's only getting 75 seats exactly, then she might want to consider that before leaving it to chance where her guests sit.

pandasquishy · February 2010

I would do a seating chart. We had 90 guests and it only took me half an hour to put it together. It will really save you a lot of headaches in the end: people won't be separated from their families/dates, people are guaranteed to find a spot they like, your elderly relatives won't be sitting near the speakers, etc. Escort cards are a great way to go - assigning tables rather than seats is easier.

mahnkenc · February 2010

My only question would be is the food being served? If that is the case then you would need a seating chart in order for the servers to know where to place which dishes - meat, no meat, etc. Otherwise...I say NO SEATING CHART! I had mine open and everyone just mingled and sat where they wanted and nobody felt llike they got a crappy table etc. Nobody is going to stay in their "assigned" seating anyways!

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