Question... my FMIL did this for her daughter's wedding. After the rehearsal dinner, she had a shower (that's what she called it, not sure if it's just a get-together or an actual shower) at her house the night before the wedding. She sounds like she wants to do this for my FI and I as well. I get that a lot of people will be in town, more time to mingle, but to me it sounds like something that would just keep us wound up and make it harder for me to go home without looking rude for leaving the party and get to sleep before the big day (FI is staying at her house that night, but same thing with needing sleep). I wouldn't want to be rude to any of my friends or family who traveled into town (some of which are staying at our house actually!) and be off at an event where they aren't necessarily invited to because they aren't from his side, I don't see a tactful way of handling who is invited unless she says everyone who is in town can come, then the entire guest list would be crammed into her house. I've mentioned to her what I said above, about having concerns about being up too late and all that, but she didn't seem to notice, but I haven't brought up the 'who is invited' part. Anyone else do one of these? I had never heard of a shower the night before a wedding! o.O We're having an early afternoon ceremony (1:30pm so early wakeup call) and a few hour long reception, and planning on doing an afterparty of sorts later that evening to spend more time with friends and family. My FI is on the same page as me, but he's trying not to hurt her feelings so we don't want to bring it up just to squash it down. If she brings it up, how do I politely but flat out decline? Any advice? Thanks!