Okay... this is a fairly long story but i am so hurt right now and I have no idea what to do. Please do not reply with mean comments (not that you would but some on TK tend to) because this is just how I feel...
Anyway, I have 2 MOHs and 4 BMs. one MOH is my cousin who is amazing/helpful but lives 18hrs away... my other MOH is my childhood friend. The 2nd MOH is the person I have had issues with. We have been friends for over ten years and were dating our fiance/husband for the exact same amount of time. Of course someone has to get engaged first and it happened to be me. When I called all excited to tell her I was engaged I got an odd reaction. First it was happiness then it was upset/mad because she wasn't engaged yet. In short, she sucked all the fun of me telling her I was engaged and I spent more time trying to cheer her up then be happy for myself. This is just the beginning of how much she hurt my feelings... well, ironically, a week later her bf proposed. Now we are both engaged. I made it a point to be just as excited for her as I was for myself... she did not.
Her wedding was in december 2010 and mine is coming up in June 2011. At the beginning of all of our planning in Jan. 2010 I mentioned to her, "I think its fair to celebrate both of our weddings from here on, not celebrate yours for 12 months and then mine for 5months." well, sadly, thats exactly what happened. I went the entire year talking to her non'-stop about her wedding... and getting very few questions back in return. She didn't even ask basic questions... I have more aquintances ask me questions about my wedding then she'-s asked me in the past year and a half.
here are some examples of her actions:
- I was super excited when she got her wedding dress and immediately planned a trip to go see it (a 3hr drive). She said "cool" when I told her I got my dress. Didn't even ask what it looked like.
- I spent an hour on the phone with her when her engagement pics came in.. picking my favs and telling them how great they are. When I got mine she simply said "they are nice". and this comment was made months after I got them and posted them on facebook.
- Same as above with the Save the dates
- I made MANY trips to where she lives to help with various things or attend various parties... she has come up here twice.
- I planned her bachelorette party w/ her sister just like she wanted. She told me it is not her job to plan any parties for me. So my other BMs are planning it.
- I was a MOH in her wedding, along with her sister, but I was only mentioned as a MOH in the program. I was origionally supposed to give a speech at the reception then it got taken away from me and wasnt even annouced as the MOH at the reception like the other MOH. kinda odd and hurt my feelings.
- There is more but i feel like I could go on for days....
Okay, so here is my big issue. So i did all this great stuff for her and was soooo interested and happy for her for 12 months!!!! Now her wedding has passed and there is only a few months till my wedding... finally my turn, right? How about I haven't even heard from her in over a month!!!! no phone call, no text, not even a facebook "like" on anything.
Am i over'-reacting or is this just getting ridiculous????? My feelings are so beyond hurt and yes, I've talked to her about all of this like 6mons ago and she changed for a day and then it was back to not caring.
To be honest, I havent even wanted her in the wedding for the past year or so since all of this stuff started happening. I know you can't/shouldn't kick someone out of a wedding or make them just a BM instead of MOH... but when is enough, enough?? Why should i have to put up with all this added stress and getting upset for someone who doesn'-t seem to care about not only my wedding but my life as well???
Help