Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas?

sarah0725 · April 2011

To be honest, if I saw "in lieu of favors" or "in lieu of gifts" somewhere related to somebody's wedding, I wouldn't be offended. It's not something I would do myself, but I think their hearts are in the right place. Now, if they're actively soliciting donations by putting out collection boxes or something like that, I would be upset, but otherwise, not a problem.

jerseydevil · April 2011

Because they are public figures, I think they get a pass. They want to project a positive public image by saying this instead of acquiring more stuff. Many of their guests are public figures as well, so it's good for them as well to say "I donated to charity for the royal wedding".

NuggetBrain · April 2011

Aren't they having a big reception and a relatively small ceremony? So there's that too. Although once again, I suppose I could understand.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2011

I also think in the US, our sensibilities about people being inherintly equal - even royalty put their pants on one leg at a time! - sort of clouds the issue. The end result being that royalty are not equal to your average Joe in ways that doesn't even necessarily relate to bank account size.

Blueyed228 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_will-kate-etiquette-faux-pas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:01fd5958-3cd7-42f9-b4f9-20f9d1a45b6ePost:f2635a2a-4a76-46dc-a317-f80c83251ea4">Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]Aren't they having a big reception and a relatively small ceremony? So there's that too. Although once again, I suppose I could understand.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

That betch would get flamed so hard if she was a knottie.

A tiered wedding and donation? Lol.

LessThanZero · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_will-kate-etiquette-faux-pas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:01fd5958-3cd7-42f9-b4f9-20f9d1a45b6ePost:a66046e0-1f75-4987-839b-be10d715769b">Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas? : That betch would get flamed so hard if she was a knottie. A tiered wedding and donation? Lol.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

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Meg1979 · April 2011

I remember an article about Princess Diana's wedding and they had a room full of presents. I guess the average joe sent them things.

http://timewasantiquesfamily.blogspot.com/2011/03/prince-charles-princess-diana-royal.html

SarahPLiz · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_will-kate-etiquette-faux-pas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:01fd5958-3cd7-42f9-b4f9-20f9d1a45b6ePost:c2dbd3fa-a769-4db8-963b-50126b5e357e">Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]I remember an article about Princess Diana's wedding and they had a room full of presents. I guess the average joe sent them things. <a href="http://timewasantiquesfamily.blogspot.com/2011/03/prince-charles-princess-diana-royal.html" rel='nofollow'>http://timewasantiquesfamily.blogspot.com/2011/03/prince-charles-princess-diana-royal.html</a>
Posted by Meg1979[/QUOTE]
Wow, I don't know who this Herend guy is, but he sure makes some ugly ducks, even for the 70s and 80s those are weird decor items. I wonder what happened to all that stuff.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_will-kate-etiquette-faux-pas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:01fd5958-3cd7-42f9-b4f9-20f9d1a45b6ePost:3a967c0d-a927-4cc4-910a-8ba13e9e157a">Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]To be honest, if I saw "in lieu of favors" or "in lieu of gifts" somewhere related to somebody's wedding, I wouldn't be offended. It's not something I would do myself, but I think their hearts are in the right place. Now, if they're actively soliciting donations by putting out collection boxes or something like that, I would be upset, but otherwise, not a problem.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

"In lieu of favors" I would just worry that it was a controversial charity - and we know almost any charity can be controversial. If they include a few charities on their registry page on their website, I'd probably find that nice, actually.

Meg1979 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_will-kate-etiquette-faux-pas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:01fd5958-3cd7-42f9-b4f9-20f9d1a45b6ePost:9d14b22a-7bb4-4142-afe2-fd008a9fb657">Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas? : Wow, I don't know who this Herend guy is, but he sure makes some ugly ducks, even for the 70s and 80s those are weird decor items. I wonder what happened to all that stuff.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

I know! I also can't believe some people gave gifts like that. You know, just plain old commoners sending egg timers. Weird.

LuluP82 · April 2011

In lieu of favors bothers me-- it's the whole you giving to a charity in MY name that bothers me. What if I don't like your charity? If I want to give to charity, I will.

In lieu of gifts is different. That's like saying, we don't want/need anything, but if you must, I like X, Y and Z charity. I'm not asking you to donate in your own name; I'm asking you to donate in my name to my charity of choice. To me it's like if you give me $50 cash in an envelope, and then I donate to my charity of choice. You telling me you donated the $50 to YOUR charity of choice as MY gift is what bugs me.

K&J64 · April 2011

I see no difference between asking for donation in lieu of gift/ charity registries for weddings and when someone passes away the family stating "in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to X organization". I think both are perfectly acceptable. I don't think there's a wealth or class marker on doing either.

muggs2012 · April 2011

In Response to Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas?:

I think they get a pass because this is obviously a PR issue. They don't need gifts and everyone knows it. They want to publicize their fave charities and this is a really good way to do it. What would you give them as a gift anyway? Seriously? I'd be at a loss.
Posted by SarahPLiz

I'm not asking this to be argumentative (genuinely curious) but why is it ok for them to publicize a charity and not ok for the average citizen to do so? The fact that they are royalty or famous shouldn't make a difference.

In Response to the above -

I didn't know that it wasn't ok to publicize a charity. It seems like a good thing to do if you don't need any gifts.

reddy123 · April 2011

I wonder what they will have for favors...

(my daydream is showing an Oprah-like giveaway)

Blueyed228 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_will-kate-etiquette-faux-pas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:01fd5958-3cd7-42f9-b4f9-20f9d1a45b6ePost:8bdefdcd-15c3-4e50-9b99-21833dc13f7d">Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]I wonder what they will have for favors... (my daydream is showing an Oprah-like giveaway)
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]

YOU get a car! You get a car! YOU get a car!

thesequel · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_will-kate-etiquette-faux-pas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:01fd5958-3cd7-42f9-b4f9-20f9d1a45b6ePost:69c88f98-9a4b-4ac5-9d77-5e32c341d4f5">Re: Will and Kate Etiquette Faux Pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]They didn't print this info on their invites... so really it's just word of mouth. Isn't that what TK tells people to do all the time? Spread it through word of mouth? I mean, it's not Kate and William's fault their "word of mouth" just happens to include every major media outlet in the world ;) ETA: Oh, and I just read Blue's comment- they're not doing this in lieu of favors. That's what really gets the debate going. <strong> I don't know if any Knottie has come on here and said "guys. I really don't want any presents, or cash. I just want my guests to donate to a charity."</strong>
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

<div>I did....and got flamed badly a year ago. I was told that I was very self-righteous and should want gifts.</div>

kcscejal · April 2011

Because it really is her pretty pretty princess day.

I don't really know why it gets a pass, but I don't feel like it's wrong.

kimmieniesink · April 2011

I would rather that money go to a charity than something totally useless to them!

lavenderfields13 · April 2011

lessthanzero I totally agree with you and was honestly confused by everyone else's point of view..
I don't think it's wrong to make a donation in your guests name instead of wasting money on a stupid favor they're just going to eat/throw away,etc

monkeysip · April 2011

I don't get why donating to a charity in lieu of favors is so controversial. Everytime I go to a wedding, I get some random cheap favor that ends up being eaten or tossed in the closet. Wedding favors seem to me to be a great way to throw away money. I always liked the idea of charitable donations for wedding favors, but to something that is non-controversial, like a children's hospital.

I mean, if someone has a problem that I donated $5 to a children's hospital instead of buying them a candle or a bag of cookies, maybe I don't want them at my wedding.

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