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I feel guilty

melissa82melissa82 member
2500 Comments 5 Love Its
in Washington-Seattle
December is just totally jam-packed with stuff all about me, and I feel really guilty about it. My shower is Dec. 5, birthday is Dec. 10, bparty is Dec. 19, then there's Christmas (not all about me obv, lol) and then our wedding. I live out of state, so there wasn't much I could do to spread it out. I tried to do my bparty Thanksigiving wknd, but it didn't work with everyone's schedules.

I just feel like I am asking people for too much. I haven't had my sis send out the evite for my bparty because I feel like people aren't going to come or something. My cousin called it "Melissaember" jokingly, and it just bugged me. I'm the type of person that likes to do things for other people, but I have a hard time accepting things from others and feel awkward about it, especially with money. I'd much rather pay for a whole bunch of people do something, then have anyone pay for me.
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Re: I feel guilty

  • TygirljojoTygirljojo
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you and I are very similar when it comes to stuff like that.  But remember, it's not like you get married all the time (hopefully).  Would it make you feel better if you did a combo shower/birthday party?  That might help alleviate things a bit.  Or if you're concerned about people spending money, maybe tell them you don't want gifts either for your shower or birthday (or both if you want to do that). 
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  • melissa82melissa82 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I'm not doing anything special for my birthday. (Which is weird because I ALWAYS go big for my bday, lol.) But I'm sure my mom will want to do a dinner or something (that's what we normally do--family dinner at home). I think I will tell her to just keep it to us and my grandma.
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  • TygirljojoTygirljojo
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like a good plan!  As for the rest of the WR stuff, don't worry about it.  Other people are planning to do these things for you because they want to, and guests who might be able to make only 1 of the two pre-wedding events will do so, and those who can make both, great!
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  • sjlarobadieresjlarobadiere
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I too feel the same...though my birthday is in the spring so I jokingly tell people it's the 12 days of Stephie!! (my b-day is March 12th).

    I agree with Jolene. You can voice to people how much you just want them to be there and could care less about presents. I think you deserve to have some attention on you as you are only getting married once (YAY! right??!?) and so you only get to celebrate these things once!  and like you said maybe try and do a little less for your birthday, still do something though as your birthday is important  too!


    PLUS your wedding day isn't just about you it's about you and your FI!

    Steph and Brad 10-1-10

    "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken".
    See my bio!
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  • saracksarack
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    I feel the same way, i don't want people to feel obligated to be around for me and buying me things, especially when there are other things going on in peoples lives.

    BUT, it is one month. And your family and friends love you. Don't feel bad, people will do what they can and want to do this for you. People will come to your Bparty. Don't worry.

    BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker we're having twins!
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  • karebear219karebear219
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have the same issue. My birthday is a week before the wedding. I am trying to space out showers to keep them away from Christmas and helping pay any where I can for Bachelorette party and things. I have been telling people to not worry about presents and pretty much canceling my birthday this year. I figure I can put the word out there as much as possible and if they want to do something above that it is on them. It still makes me feel a little bad, but it is sweet that they want to. I know I will return the gift when it is their turn and express my gratitude in every way possible.
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