HONEYMOON REGISTRY SHOWER

ALLISONFD · August 2010

HAS ANYONE EVER DONE A HONEYMOON REGISTRY SHOWER, AND IF SO HOW DID YOU HANDLE GIFT OPENING AT THE SHOWER?

mysticl · August 2010

Never seen one. Seems a bit rude to announce how much each guest gave the bride and groom. That's what would happen since the bride would be opening cards that had an amount listed in them.

BTW, lose the caps lock, it means you're yelling at us.

Kristin789 · August 2010

1. Really shouldn't do a honeymoon registry - totally rude. See below.
2. Really shouldn't do a SHOWER like that.

Wedding guests expect to give wonderful, long-lasting gifts that mirror their hope for your marriage to be wonderful and long-lasting. Like china, bedding, and other nest-building stuff. When you see these gifts in your home, you will be reminded of the giver, and you will be reminded that you have a whole connected web of marriage mentors to whom you can turn for advice, counsel, new ideas or help when things go from better to worse.

A short-term donation to your honeymoon does not match what wedding gifts are supposed to represent.

jagore08 · August 2010

Please read posts on the other board. We're all telling you the same thing.

crcoff3997 · August 2010

I considered a honeymoon registry, but I didn't understand what they actually were until I posted on the etiquette board earlier this month and found out what they really are: you register for couple's massages and things like that. I didn't realize how they were done, and once I did I realized how unbelievably tacky they really are. People love to give tangible gifts, and they love to see you open them. Just basically asking for a handout for something that they won't experience you enjoying can be very insulting to some guests and loved ones. It's basically saying, "I really just want your money, not a gift that you really thought about."

Even if you wind up getting 27 toasters and have to return 26 of them, not rocking the boat your extended family, friends and future in-laws is so much better than having your honeymoon paid for. It occured to me that I wouldn't ever enjoy my honeymoon because I'd be so worried about whether my new family would be insulted by our choice.

If you want a luxurious honeymoon, you probably ought to save up and take a 1 year anniversary trip. In the end, you'll probably be really greatful you did.

SuMmErKuTiE · August 2010

First please don't type in all caps lock, it looks like you're yelling at us.

Second, if you're only having a honeymoon registry, then you shouldn't be having a bridal shower. The point of a bridal shower is to "shower the bride with gifts for the couple's new home". If all you're opening are cards with money or gift cards in them, there's no point to the shower and no one will want to sit there and watch that, plus it's really tacky to open up money gifts in front of a group of people. Someone who only gave $30 is going to be really embarassed if that's all they could do, and then it's shouted out right after the person who gave $100 or $200.

If you're set on the HM registry, you should also have a small registry for upgrades in your home. There's got to be a nice new sheet set or high end kitchen appliance you've had your eye on, or upgrading your dish set or bath towels that should be replaced every so often anyway. HTH!

heyimbren · August 2010

I'd be bored out of my mind watching a bride open up cards at a shower, going over how much money people gave towards the honeymoon.

Honeymoon registry is considered very tacky by many people, and a shower for one is worse. I've never heard someone say they'd be okay with a shower for a HM registry.

Speechie1970 · September 2010

So wedding etiquette says that a honeymoon registry is not rude (google it to get more info). It is an acceptable way to do a reigistry if you choose to do that. I have to tell you that honeymoon registries are a particular hot topic on The Knot. Knotties don't like them - that's for sure. If you want to do one I am not really sure how to incorporate into a shower though. I do think that since a big portion of a shower is opening gifts it may be awkward for yoru guests. Where are you going on your honeymoon? I wonder if you can do a themed shower that is based on your honeymoon. For example - register for items you want for your honeymoon. Like new luggage, outfits, lingerie, travel blankets, books, gift cards, a swim suit (or ski jacket) - just make it for your destination! Hopefully this helps with out being mean about the whole honeymoon registry thing.

kielee99 · September 2010

Aw I feel bad for how rude everyone is being! Allisonfd is just as excited to be engaged and planning her wedding as the rest of us, and everyone wants different things and has slightly different standards or practices. She doesn't deserve to be yelled at. Sure, following etiquette is important but I have to say that I've known dozens of couples who have recently got married and have done the honeymoon registry, and I believe there is nothing wrong with it. Now the shower for it, that I do disagree with. But some couples already own a home together and don't need a lot of tangible gifts b/c they already have most of what they need...we have everything for our kitchen, everything for the bedroom, etc. But financial help or the thought of giving them a super nice candle lit dinner for 2 on the beach or a couples massage while they're on their honeymoon (which is supposed to be the MOST important and romantic vacation of your lives)...I think that's a nice thing IF the specific guest wants to do that for you. My fiance and I gave a sunset cruise to our friends recently for their honeymoon (which they were registered for) and they said it was the best night they had down there and was so great - they sent us the pictures from it and everything. They would never have bought that for themselves so it was something that we could give to them.

So that being said, etiquette again is definitely important but this is one that I'm going to have to disagree with (respectively). But I would definitely avoid a specific party for it.

honeybear25 · September 2010

I also feel bad for how blunt people are being. Asking for advice is hard enough without being degraded. I understand registering for a honeymoon because many many couples are not living seperatly anymore and household things even upgraded would not be as cherished as memories of a time together that will last a life time. I think everyones definition of "gift" is different. We are registered for a honeymoon because we have lived together for four years, are paying 100 percent of our own wedding and many of our relatives actually suggested it knowing we wouldn't be able to do our wedding and a huge lavish vacay. On that note I also registered at Target for my shower because I wasn't wanting one but again relatives and friends insisted. FI and I went through and registered for things like pictures and luggage and other nice things that we would like to recieve. I will not be opening cards at the shower because it is rude I think to point out everyones amounts so presents only will be opened. My MOH and bridesmaids are all aware and have spread the word so people don't badger me about it the day of the shower. Hope this helps!

trix1223 · September 2010

kielee and honeybear: no one, no one, was mean. They were honest. They didn't validate a bad idea, but they were most certainly not mean. If you think this is mean, then may I respectfully suggest that you stick to local boards which tend to be more rainbows and puppies.

On international boards, you'll hear what people won't say to you, but will absolutely be thinking. It all boils downs to whether someone wants unbiased advice or validation.

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