Expensive BM dress- need advice
Please give me advice. (It is long so free to skip to the 2 last paragraphs; the rest is background info.)
We are down to 3 dresses: Bill Levkoff 376, 526, and 910. They are the favorites of my girls, now I need to pick one. My girls are large, thin, tall, short, big boobs, small boobs, and normal. They all want the gathering to hide the stomach and straps- which all 3 provide.
910 looks the best on all of the girls. It gives shape to my thinest and hides the problem ares on all my other girls. It doesn’t look like a typical BM dress and matches the formality of my wedding. But it is the most expensive by far! Causing some girls (and I don’t blame them) to be hesitant about making it their favorite.
376 and 526 are much more affordable, and thus favorites. The larger girls like 376, but it make the thin girls look very wide. 526 is stunning on my thin girls, but the mermaid style is just inappropriate for larger girls. (The dresses aren’t similar enough, even in the same color, for me to have 2 dresses- I think I am just too OCD about it.)
Due to scheduling conflicts and 2 girls living out of state- we haven’t been able to shop together. So the girls can’t see how the dresses look on each other- even though I try to share the positives and negatives with everyone.
Basically- I know 910 will look the best on everyone. I don’t want my girls to spend a ton of money on a dress that will look bad on them. But it is hard to convince them to spend more money for everyone to look great, when they go shopping alone (or with just me). I want everyone to look great and be happy- without spending a ton of money.
I am not requiring them to buy matching shoes or jewelry. I am not having them spend money on the showers or bachelorette party. I know buying the dress from the same place will bring down costs (from $260 to $202). But how else can I bring down the cost? My best idea is to prepay the dress shop $20 for each dress to bring the price to $180 (which I know the girls will accept). But since paying for part of the dress is considered tacky- my plan is to not tell them and just lie. (“I got my wedding dress there so they agreed to take off another $20!”) Is this a good idea? Any suggestions? THANKS!!!!
Renee
Re: Expensive BM dress- need advice
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
Like PP said, talk to each of them privately and ask what she wants to spend on a dress. Then pick a dress in that price range, or chip in some money yourself to each girl in order to bring the price down.
And, no, you paying for part of the dress is NOT tacky. Who told you that is was? That is the best solution if you know that their budgets are $180.
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Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
Showers, b-parites, shoes, etc are all optional, so that doesn't matter.
If they all like that dress best (or like it enough to wear it, and you like it best), then ask them each to pay whatever the lowest price range was, and make up the difference for each of them.
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Married bio
Pro pics
Travel and expat life blog
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
So, food for thought. I'm certainly not saying that BMs should HAVE TO pony up extra cash for something nice, but the point is that most people appreciate the communication and some might even be willing to spend the extra money. I personally wouldn't mind forking over an extra $20 if the dress was especially nice and the bride was upfront about everything and asked for my honest opinion ... but I'm also in a place right now where $20 extra isn't a big problem. Not everyone is, however. (Although something like $50-100+, when I'm planning and paying for my own wedding right now, might be a dealbreaker to me).
So the point is, talk to them and be upfront. They will appreciate it. And I'm sure none of them would find the extra $20 from you to be tacky. I would certainly appreciate it as a BM.
It also helps they can wear their own shoes and jewerly.
Look at houseofbrides.com and see how much the dresses are there. Sometimes they are quite cheap.
Edit: They have it for $154 plus insurance and shipping:
http://www.houseofbrides.com/bill-levkoff-bridesmaid-dress-style-910-p-4-8-8336.aspx
When I went through the site, it ended up being $180 and some change with everything included, to ship it to me, in California. Either inform your girls about the site, or buy all their dresses and have them reimburse you.
40/112
My girls are also wearing Bill Levkoff 910. They are also different shapes and sizes and this dress looks stunning on all 4 of them, including my 7.5 month pregnant MOH (she'll be 8.5 at wedding). All 4 girls feel this dress is worth the price, it is so flattering. I would try and negotiate the price though because every shop I went to (and I went to or called every shop in a 90 mile radius of my city and the dress always ranged from $225-$235, never $260. I found a shop 30 miles away that offered a 20% discount on the $235 price and we purchased them November 7th for $188 and they came in January 22 (just to give you a time frame for ordering).
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
Aside from that, another option for you to consider though might be to do all 3 styles of dresses and let the girls choose whichever they like. The styles are similar and complementary so they'd probably look really good together.
Anyway it sounds like you've come to a solution you're happy with. I hope it works out for you.
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert