BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette

healyl99 · April 2010

okay so its okay for everyone else to chip in and pay and even groomsmen who won't even be attending.. and it's okay if she's not.. okay as long as we're clear on that one.

healyl99 · April 2010

Yes a bachelor/bachelorette party is a given. When did it become now that the bride and groom have to do everything themselves. The bm's are supposed to be responsible for the shower and bach.

tidetravel · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:9ecf884d-58f1-4bd6-bbc5-252f148825fa">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]okay so its okay for everyone else to chip in and pay and even groomsmen who won't even be attending.. and it's okay if she's not.. okay as long as we're clear on that one.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Apparently you don't understand the meaning of a GIFT. As in, NO ONE is OBLIGATED to pay for ANYTHING. GMs that aren't attending don't HAVE to pay but they are. BM who is attending doesn't HAVE to pay either.

If she is required to pay, then it's the equivalent of charging admission to your party. In which case, Walmart sells rolls of tickets that you can hand out.

mbcdefg · April 2010

What makes you think that you deserve a shower or bachelorette just because some guy slipped a diamond on your finger?

I like how the "BMs are SUPPOSED to plan parties!" excused is always used by brats who wouldn't get one otherwise because of their bad attitudes. I can see why this chick isn't falling all over herself to pay for your dinner, Princess.

(Assuming this is even a real poster, which I'd be willing to bet that it's not.)

tidetravel · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:353e2aed-b84f-4dad-b8d0-68483c427f8c">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes a bachelor/bachelorette party is a given. When did it become now that the bride and groom have to do everything themselves. The bm's are supposed to be responsible for the shower and bach.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

The bride and groom are responsible for planning their WEDDING.

PARTIES and SHOWERS are GIFTS thrown by your FRIENDS (usually the BMs, but not always.)
If no one offers to plan a party, you just DON'T. GET. ONE. You surely don't host it yourselves.

jaimed99 · April 2010

So...should we see you on the next episode of "Bridezillas"?

Seriously, you are not ENTITLED to anything from your wedding party, simply because you asked them to be your wedding party. As other posters have said, the shower/bachelor/bachelorette parties are a gift from your friends, to celebrate your upcoming marriage...it's NOT a requirement that they (or anyone else) throw you a party just because you're getting married. Your wedding party's only requirement is to wear the clothes, show up sober, and stand up next to you in front of friends and family.

Quit sounding like a spoiled brat...from the way you act, I feel sorry for your fiance...he's the one that will have to deal with this childish behavior for the rest of his life.

I'm still sticking with my first response to this post...you sound like that person who asked someone to be a bridesmaid because they could afford it, not even because she was a friend...

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:353e2aed-b84f-4dad-b8d0-68483c427f8c">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes a bachelor/bachelorette party is a given. When did it become now that the bride and groom have to do everything themselves. The bm's are supposed to be responsible for the shower and bach.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. NO THEY AREN'T.

And, if you and your FI throw your own bachelor and bachelorette parties then you have less klass than I thought you did.

Gross, gross, gross.

Yes, your BM is being a little bit of a brat but no, you don't get to throw a temper tantrum! Also, I am going to put this out there: how you present yourself speaks to whom you friend. Birds of a feather, baby! Birds of a feather.

healyl99 · April 2010

I don't know where you people are from or where you get the ideas of no one is entitled a shower or bachelorette. Why don't you go ask your parents. This new generation is so unclassy and doesn't do things the right way. They don't want to do something nice as a bridesmaids. Yes no one said they had to or is forced to, but you would think that they would do it out of the kindness of their hearts. You would think the people chosen to be a part of the wedding party would be kind and not giving everyone a hard time.

zitiqueen · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f8490d2c-cee8-4cfc-aeac-b79d268a56ab">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know where you people are from or where you get the ideas of no one is entitled a shower or bachelorette. Why don't you go ask your parents. This new generation is so unclassy and doesn't do things the right way. They don't want to do something nice as a bridesmaids. Yes no one said they had to or is forced to, but you would think that they would do it out of the kindness of their hearts. You would think the people chosen to be a part of the wedding party would be kind and not giving everyone a hard time.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

How old are you?

AdeleDazeem · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:353e2aed-b84f-4dad-b8d0-68483c427f8c">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes a bachelor/bachelorette party is a given. When did it become now that the bride and groom have to do everything themselves. The bm's are supposed to be responsible for the shower and bach.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

You have an entitlement issue that isn't endearing you to anyone here or, I would gather, your friends.

healyl99 · April 2010

BM are supposed to show and and wear a dress and be sober? I feel really sad if you think that's what bridesmaids are for. That is so trashy and rude and unclassy. You are lumping the bridesmaids together with the regular guests.. they just show up.. except they are wearing a dress. A bridesmaid is an honor and should be taking seriously. When I first asked them to be bridesmaids they all asked what was expected and what they should do and all were told about the Bachelorette so therefore it was a requirement that they willingly knew about and agreed upon when they said yes to be a BM

zitiqueen · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:83e9c623-2a4d-47fd-8673-a8702eff022e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]BM are supposed to show and and wear a dress and be sober? I feel really sad if you think that's what bridesmaids are for. That is so trashy and rude and unclassy. You are lumping the bridesmaids together with the regular guests.. they just show up.. except they are wearing a dress. A bridesmaid is an honor and should be taking seriously. When I first asked them to be bridesmaids they all asked what was expected and what they should do and all were told about the Bachelorette so therefore it was a requirement that they willingly knew about and agreed upon when they said yes to be a BM
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Hey Healy, how old are you?

mbcdefg · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f8490d2c-cee8-4cfc-aeac-b79d268a56ab">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know where you people are from or where you get the ideas of no one is entitled a shower or bachelorette.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

The place where people know that they have to EARN things in life, rather than have it handed to them just because they want it.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f8490d2c-cee8-4cfc-aeac-b79d268a56ab">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]
Why don't you go ask your parents.

My mother would smack me across the mouth if I was every bratty and selfish enough to tell her that I was "entitled" to a shower or bachelorette party.

You're not "entitled" to jack shiit, sweetheart. You did NOTHING to earn two parties being thrown for you. You're not special, you're not important, you're not unique. Get over yourself.

Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f8490d2c-cee8-4cfc-aeac-b79d268a56ab">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]

This new generation is so unclassy and doesn't do things the right way.

Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Says the woman whining that people aren't paying for her dinner. Real classy, honey. The "right way" is to graciously accept whatever anyone chooses to give you, and be dignified and quiet if you don't get exactly what you want.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f8490d2c-cee8-4cfc-aeac-b79d268a56ab">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]They don't want to do something nice as a bridesmaids. Yes no one said they had to or is forced to, but you would think that they would do it out of the kindness of their hearts. You would think the people chosen to be a part of the wedding party would be kind and not giving everyone a hard time.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Probably because of your greedy, selfish, piss-poor attitude.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:83e9c623-2a4d-47fd-8673-a8702eff022e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]BM are supposed to show and and wear a dress and be sober? I feel really sad if you think that's what bridesmaids are for. That is so trashy and rude and unclassy. You are lumping the bridesmaids together with the regular guests.. they just show up.. except they are wearing a dress. A bridesmaid is an honor and should be taking seriously. When I first asked them to be bridesmaids they all asked what was expected and what they should do and all were told about the Bachelorette so therefore it was a requirement that they willingly knew about and agreed upon when they said yes to be a BM
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

my head---- /> <----the wall

healyl99 · April 2010

If it was told to them exactly what was expected and they signed up for that by saying yes then they should follow through with what they said they will do. That's the end of the story.

tidetravel · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f8490d2c-cee8-4cfc-aeac-b79d268a56ab">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know where you people are from or where you get the ideas of no one is entitled a shower or bachelorette. Why don't you go ask your parents. This new generation is so unclassy and doesn't do things the right way. They don't want to do something nice as a bridesmaids. Yes no one said they had to or is forced to, but you would think that they would do it out of the kindness of their hearts. You would think the people chosen to be a part of the wedding party would be kind and not giving everyone a hard time.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Unless your father is giving you away along with a herd of goats and a couple head of cattle, the "old rules" don't apply, sweetcheeks.

Know what is klassy? Being a gracious bride and accepting what people give you. Not bitching about a friend failing to "pony up" her share.

gottahavashorti · April 2010

I could only manage to skim through these 2 pages but what I'm getting is "I'm entitled, my friends are supposed to be my servants, omg my BM is so self absorbed because it's not about me me me."

Seriously. She has to show up, walk down the aisle, stand quietly and smile for pictures. The point is for YOU to honor your friends by having them stand next to you, not for HER to grovel in gratitude by paying for Bachelorettes in expensive areas because she is getting $30 worth of gifts. Anything else she wants to do is gravy, you should not be expecting or requiring it.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:44728967-de16-42fd-892f-9776f8bc2644">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]If it was told to them exactly what was expected and they signed up for that by saying yes then they should follow through with what they said they will do. That's the end of the story.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]
Seriously, there's no one here who can help you as long as you are defensive and unwilling to listen or be open-minded. I truly wish you GL with your upcoming wedding.

tidetravel · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:44728967-de16-42fd-892f-9776f8bc2644">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]If it was told to them exactly what was expected and they signed up for that by saying yes then they should follow through with what they said they will do. That's the end of the story.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Is there a written contract somewhere? Are you paying them a salary?

Friends =/= servants.

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f8490d2c-cee8-4cfc-aeac-b79d268a56ab">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know where you people are from or where you get the ideas of no one is entitled a shower or bachelorette. Why don't you go ask your parents. This new generation is so unclassy and doesn't do things the right way. They don't want to do something nice as a bridesmaids. Yes no one said they had to or is forced to, but you would think that they would do it out of the kindness of their hearts. You would think the people chosen to be a part of the wedding party would be kind and not giving everyone a hard time.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Look Healy! You said it yourself. Out of the goodness of their hearts.

I think that you need to reevaluate when you are clearly the one in the minority here. No one is telling you shouldn't have a bachelorette party or shower, we're just telling you that you have no right to expect anything from these girls.

Also, you know what is most unclassy? This little diva fit you're having. Get over yourself. Put on your big girl pants and your gracious bride bonnet and either pay your $7.50 or shut up. Also, be sure to THANK THE REST OF YOUR WP because they are doing this FOR YOU, not because THEY HAVE TO. Lord knows why.

mbcdefg · April 2010

I can't believe this is all over seven freaking dollars.

How about you pay for your own dinner, but don't buy this bridesmaid the stupid flip-flops and jewelry, and call it even?

zitiqueen · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:44728967-de16-42fd-892f-9776f8bc2644">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]If it was told to them exactly what was expected and they signed up for that by saying yes then they should follow through with what they said they will do. That's the end of the story.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Hey Healy, how old did you say you were again?

healyl99 · April 2010

Being gracious and accepting what is given..... hmmm she gave me nothing.

tidetravel · April 2010

Psst, Xoxo... You can say bitch.

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:44728967-de16-42fd-892f-9776f8bc2644">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]If it was told to them exactly what was expected and they signed up for that by saying yes then they should follow through with what they said they will do. That's the end of the story.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

The end of the story is that you're wrong/incorrect/ill-informed/a bridezilla.

gottahavashorti · April 2010

Since she's not willing to comply, I think it's within your rights to kick her out of the WP. Then she won't have to maintain a friendship she wasn't interested in maintaining in the first place, shell out her money for required bachelorette parties, or be defended by strangers from a friend who just can't get through her head the idea that she is doing nothing wrong. You won't look like a bridezilla at all if you do so.

[Deleted User] · April 2010

I can't get the "she's being ungrateful" part. What? Are you serious? You kinda suck as a friend. And that's all I have to say, PPs have already taken care of the rest.

mbcdefg · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:603ceea9-3ea0-48d7-b9b2-2fb25be8ecce">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]Being gracious and accepting what is given..... hmmm she gave me nothing.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

So she doesn't like you and doesn't want to give you anything. That's the case where I would take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself, "Why does she not want to be nice to me?"

Niceness has to be EARNED. From this post, you've done nothing to earn her being nice to you. All you've done is piss and moan about how you're owed all these things and how you're entitled to all these things. I would not want to give anything to a spoiled brat, either.

You're not going to win this argument. EVERYONE here has told you that you're wrong. You're just digging yourself in deeper by trying to argue that she "owes" you something.

You can either be mature and gracious and let it go, or contine to cry and whine over it like a spoiled, selfish, bratty child. Your choice.

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:94764607-ecae-456f-939a-a29fe1bc7106">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]Psst, Xoxo... You can say bitch.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

WOW! That makes my life so much easier. (haha)

nhelene · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:83e9c623-2a4d-47fd-8673-a8702eff022e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]BM are supposed to show and and wear a dress and be sober? I feel really sad if you think that's what bridesmaids are for. That is so trashy and rude and unclassy. You are lumping the bridesmaids together with the regular guests.. they just show up.. except they are wearing a dress. A bridesmaid is an honor and should be taking seriously. When I first asked them to be bridesmaids they all asked what was expected and what they should do and all were told about the Bachelorette so therefore it was a requirement that they willingly knew about and agreed upon when they said yes to be a BM
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

How is paying for a bunch of parties an "honor"?

BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette

Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette

Choose Another Board

Search Boards