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Catholic Weddings
ccogan
member
FOCCUS
Hi!
I have posted on the other boards, but not on the Catholic board yet. My fiancé and I are getting married in a year, next March, and we are about to get started on the marriage preparation with our priest. We are taking the FOCCUS test on Saturday. Does anyone have any insight on what to expect? How long did it take you to take? What were some of the more difficult questions to answer? I am not nervous, but I am a bit apprehensive about how our results will compare.
Thanks so much!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FOCCUS
If you and your FI have had in-depth discussion on finances, how you'll raise children (and how many you want to have), your NFP plans, and time with friends/family, you should be just fine. If you haven't talked about those things, be prepared for differences.
One point from my personal experience:
My reading comprehension skill is a bit higher than DH's. We knew that going into this, but it turns out that DH just flat out didn't understand what some of the questions were asking. So he ended up answering "undecided" to the questions he couldn't understand; which in turn caused some intitial confusion when we went over results. It's not a big deal, but some of the questions are a bit challenging to interpret for some and answering "undecided" brings up flags on the results.
Just go with your gut instinct on things and don't over think the questions. There are some questions that seem to ask the same thing and that is intentional.
It covers all sorts of potential issues - finance, children, work situations, communication, household roles, etc.
My fiance had some "mistakes" too. The funniest was his "agree" to the answer about whether someone was forcing him into the marriage. He told his priest from like the weekend he met me that he planned on marrying me, so Fr. Joe got a good laugh over that one.
When you get the results, it is broken down into sections on general topic areas. It lists key points of concern/discussion. There will also be a section of "potential issues" This is to show you some potential red flags that need to be addressed. For example, if your answers on wanting children or practicing the faith are different.
[QUOTE]It's nice to have reassurance that there are no wrong answers, and that its just an inventory to explore what has been discussed and to show potential issues, but I think giving too much information about the questions (or actually listing some questions asked)might be in some cases, detrimental. The foccus isn't just about the subjects it asks about-- but It gives the priests/couples/evaluators a look into subjects that might have been avoided, etc.
Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]
<div>I don't think anyone gave any information that was beyond what we were told when we were given the forms to take home. Obviously there's something to be said for answering the questions with your first thoughts, rather than mulling over them, but I don't think any of the answers given here would interfere with that.</div><div>
</div><div>I know that our sponsor couple hit on all the topics when we met with them, they just made sure to delve even more deeply into the ones where we showed any kind of disagreement.</div>
It's imporant to note that the FOCCUS inventory has sample questions and FAQs available (on its own website, no less).
FOCCUS isn't a guarded secret by any means. I don't think there is anything wrong with a couple wanting to be prepared and have some discussions in advance. DH & I did tons of research beforehand and discussed the topics ahead of time. So, to each their own.
</div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_foccus-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:965239dc-60f8-43fe-b1bf-e4cd696b0434Post:391c0e5b-fbf4-471d-989d-8be7743c059c">Re:FOCCUS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FOCCUS: Our FOCCUS exam was 160 questions/statements. There are additional sections if you're cohabitating, if you are of different faiths, or if this is a second marriage for either of you. You FI will individually reply to statements with Agree, Disagree, or Undecided. One was "My future spouse has habits that annoy me.". or "We have decided how to handle who pays the bills " or "We agree on method of family planning". The deacon or priest will talk through answers you answered differently or if you both gave the "wrong" answer. No answer is right or wrong, but there are preffered answers. As a side note, have you set your wedding date with the church? March is almost always during Lent, and some parishes don't allow Lenten weddings.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]