Children at the wedding

KellyLovesJames · July 2010

Long Question Short:
Is it okay for me to not invite young children who aren't relatives?

The reason I ask is because James and I have several young cousins, nieces and nephews who will already be attending the wedding. Approximately 10 of them under the age of 10.

For various reason,such as I don't want it to be a kid fest and the food cost...so when I send out my RSVP cards to non-family can I simply put something along the lines of "# of seats have been reserved in your honor" and list their names? OR should I just address the invitation to the parents and hope for the best?

What are your thoughts?

loop0406 · July 2010

We wanted no confusion so our rsvps say: "# of seats have been reserved in your honor" and list their names.

salt78 · July 2010

It's totally fine.

cougarette · July 2010

From the FAQ at the top of the page...

1. Do I have to invite kids? It is okay to have an adults only wedding and reception. To do this, simply address the invitation to the adults only. Do NOT put “adults only” or “adult wedding” on your invitation. Use the envelopes to address it properly and start letting people know in advance by word of mouth that kids will not be invited. Be prepared for some people to complain to you, to ask you to make an exception, or to threaten not to come. Decide how you will handle these issues because they will happen. This is the chance you take.

KellyLovesJames · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fa41711a-9f28-4b17-be95-ff07dc2e1ac4Post:c7faf47a-98c8-48eb-9b82-2054228a972b">Re: Children at the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]From the FAQ at the top of the page... 1. Do I have to invite kids? It is okay to have an adults only wedding and reception. To do this, simply address the invitation to the adults only. Do NOT put “adults only” or “adult wedding” on your invitation. Use the envelopes to address it properly and start letting people know in advance by word of mouth that kids will not be invited. Be prepared for some people to complain to you, to ask you to make an exception, or to threaten not to come. Decide how you will handle these issues because they will happen. This is the chance you take.
Posted by cougarette[/QUOTE]

Yeah.... I know you can have an adults only. I just didn't want it to be in poor taste of me to not invite non relative children when there will be kids there.

If I had kids... I wouldn't take them to a wedding anyway. That is just me though.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

Some people will disagree and say that parents will be mad that their kids weren't invited, but if you're willing to deal with that, go for it. IMO, kids are like adults - you can pick and choose who to invite. Don't invite the kids who aren't close to you. Just like you shouldn't invite the coworkers who aren't close to you.

PharmacyBride · July 2010

I think it is absolutely okay to not invite your friends' kids. They probably want a date night anyways.

The only reason I want to invite family members' kids is because the kids themselves are family. (and weddings are a huge family affair)

You re fine etiquette-wise to not invite them

KellyLovesJames · July 2010

Thanks guys, I appreciate the feedback!

Knittibell · July 2010

Are there any other cousins with kids, whose kids are NOT invited? This would be a huge problem. If not, then just do as you mentioned, with "2 places have been reserved in your honour, please select your menu option below by initialing..."

If people complain, just say that due to budget, you are only having the children in your immediate family. But don't make ANY exceptions!!

KellyLovesJames · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fa41711a-9f28-4b17-be95-ff07dc2e1ac4Post:b2f3efba-85ec-465f-b5ca-c400afb481c7">Re: Children at the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Are there any other cousins with kids, whose kids are NOT invited? This would be a huge problem. If not, then just do as you mentioned, with "2 places have been reserved in your honour, please select your menu option below by initialing..." If people complain, just say that due to budget, you are only having the children in your immediate family. But don't make ANY exceptions!!
Posted by Knittibell[/QUOTE]
Nope... just the immediate family. None of our cousins have had children yet. Only our close Uncles, Aunts and James' sister's will have their children there.

Knittibell · July 2010

Then you're good! If anyone asks, just say for budged/space you've only invited the children in your immediate family.

Apparently even with telling people exactly who is invited, you should still be prepared to make a few calls and explain this, but you're fine. Don't worry about it!

KellyLovesJames · July 2010

Thank you Knittibell!

quotequeen · July 2010

It's not poor etiquette but that doesn't mean people won't be upset.

The way you want to do the RSVP card is fine.

Children at the wedding

Re: Children at the wedding

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