When to Use Engagement Gifts

Right Said Fred · April 2011

I got engaged two months ago and have already started receiving gifts in the mail. We've been sending thank you notes and storing the gifts in the closet.
What is the rule of thumb? Should we wait until the wedding to use these gifts?

TEA&Co · April 2011

I actually don't know what the rule of thumb is. We received a few engagement gifts and have been using them. Whoops. Everything was from family members anyway, with the exception of a set of Christmas ornaments from a friend of FMIL's, who told us to hang them on our tree this past Christmas.

almost-a-bride · April 2011

Are you talking engagement gifts or wedding gifts? Either way, you can use them whenever you want.

strlzfan11 · April 2011

Anything received before the wedding (the was given under the assumption that it was for a wedding-related event) should not be used until after the wedding because if for some reason the wedding was called off you would have to return the gifts to the sender. You should open them though to make sure that nothing's been broken. Send thank yous immediately.

Now if someone purchased a gift off your registry for your birthday or Christmas, that's a different story. You can use those right away.

jilld82 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_use-engagement-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:caab94d4-b2f6-4f09-aeb2-d7ce429c64fePost:31db91da-62d8-47b4-a467-8ea74c31883b">Re: When to Use Engagement Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you talking engagement gifts or wedding gifts? Either way, you can use them whenever you want.
Posted by almost-a-bride[/QUOTE]

This isn't true actually.

With wedding gifts you are supposed to open them to check and see if everything is there and in one piece. Then you send out a thank you card. The rule of thumb is after you do these things you are not supposed to use them until the wedding just in case the wedding does not happen, you will have to send them back.

NikkiS13 · April 2011

I agree, I would not use the gifts until after the wedding. Plus if you save the gifts you have something fun to look forward to after the wedding!

artbyallie · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_use-engagement-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:caab94d4-b2f6-4f09-aeb2-d7ce429c64fePost:e0ece4e3-609f-47e3-9351-a591c0ca3176">Re: When to Use Engagement Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]No wedding-related gifts should be used until AFTER THE WEDDING. This is because the gifts must be returned to the givers in the event that the marriage does not take place. Open now. Write thank-you note now. Do not use until after the wedding.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

carolynnmarieg · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_use-engagement-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:caab94d4-b2f6-4f09-aeb2-d7ce429c64fePost:9368aace-fae0-4c8a-84a5-faaaf63c98e5">Re: When to Use Engagement Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Anything received before the wedding (the was given under the assumption that it was for a wedding-related event) should not be used until after the wedding because if for some reason the wedding was called off you would have to return the gifts to the sender. You should open them though to make sure that nothing's been broken. Send thank yous immediately. Now if someone purchased a gift off your registry for your birthday or Christmas, that's a different story. You can use those right away.
Posted by strlzfan11[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes.</div><div>
</div><div>As much as I want to use my newly-arriving gifts, this is technically the correct etiquitte....damnit.</div>

mkjpop · April 2011

We're going here again? You ladies know my position. :-) (hint...I'm loving my new dishes...!)

serdancer16 · May 2011

I just had my shower this weekend, and someone at the shower asked if we were going to use our new stuff now or wait until after the wedding. I said I wasn't sure, I guess use them now, and after I said that everyone started talking about how you are NOT suppose to use anything until after the wedding. So apparently that is an unwritten rule!

J&K10910 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_use-engagement-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:caab94d4-b2f6-4f09-aeb2-d7ce429c64fePost:eb3719ce-8d2b-4850-9571-e901450f7838">Re: When to Use Engagement Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]I just had my shower this weekend, and someone at the shower asked if we were going to use our new stuff now or wait until after the wedding. I said I wasn't sure, I guess use them now, and after I said that everyone started talking about how you are NOT suppose to use anything until after the wedding. So apparently that is an unwritten rule!
Posted by serdancer16[/QUOTE]

No, I'm pretty sure it's written in the etiquette books.

When to Use Engagement Gifts

Re: When to Use Engagement Gifts

Choose Another Board

Search Boards