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Wedding Etiquette Forum
kdmorrow19
member
"Family only" ceremony, when I am family?
So, I got a wedding invite from my cousin's fiance. The invite was for the reception only. When I went to their website, they had the details listed for the ceremony and stated that they wanted an intimate, "family-only" ceremony. I feel offended because he's one of my only cousins, and doesn't being his cousin qualify me as "family"???? I actually cannot attend the wedding, due to the fact that I live in another state and I start school a few days after the wedding. So I'm not terribly offended that I wasn't invited because I can't attend. I just feel that if you want a totally "private" ceremony, don't post the ceremony details online where people who WEREN'T invited can see.
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Re: "Family only" ceremony, when I am family?
and their SOs
[QUOTE]So, I got a wedding invite from my cousin's fiance. The invite was for the reception only. When I went to their website, they had the details listed for the ceremony and stated that they wanted an intimate, "family-only" ceremony. I feel offended because he's one of my only cousins, and doesn't being his cousin qualify me as "family"???? I actually cannot attend the wedding, due to the fact that I live in another state and I start school a few days after the wedding. So I'm not terribly offended that I wasn't invited because I can't attend.<strong> I just feel that if you want a totally "private" ceremony, don't post the ceremony details online where people who WEREN'T invited can see.
</strong>Posted by kdmorrow19[/QUOTE]
It sounds like the bolded part is the real problem here. It's fine, from an etiquette perspective, to have an immediate-family-only ceremony followed by a larger reception. Personally, it rubs me the wrong way, but I get that there's technically nothing wrong with it, so I won't side-eye that part of what your cousin is doing, although I completely understand why it may bother you. <em>However</em>, it seems more than a little weird to me to AW your "private ceremony" on a wedding website that all the guests have access to, so I'll agree that including information about it on the website was in poor taste.
[QUOTE]What kind of details are they listing exactly? Because if we're talking detailed descriptions, photos, etc, okay I can see it. But I don't think putting "the couple will be married in a private ceremony at blah blah chapel at 2pm" is really rubbing anyone's nose in anything. Personally, it sounds like you're being a bit sensitive.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
This. It sounds like you are just peeved because you didn't get invited to the ceremony.
They have every right to have a small private ceremony with just their immediate family and SOs.
Just bask in the fact that you are not the only one who didn't get invited to the ceremony.
[QUOTE]What kind of details are they listing exactly? Because if we're talking detailed descriptions, photos, etc, okay I can see it. But I don't think putting "the couple will be married in a private ceremony at blah blah chapel at 2pm" is really rubbing anyone's nose in anything. Personally, it sounds like you're being a bit sensitive.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
This.
I mean, if they didn't put up a note that the ceremony was 'family only', then wouldn't you (and the rest of the not-immediate family) be side-eyeing the wedding because it would sound tiered? As long as they put only a brief note about it up, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot wrong with that.
[QUOTE]I don't get why you said cousin's fiance . The invitation was ostensibly from both of them right? Or her family. Not her.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]This was my thought as well.
Wouldn't it be that once you started adding cousins into the mix, that the ceremony wasn't really private any longer and not inviting friends to it but to the reception would become tiered? not sure where the line would be.