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Wedding Etiquette Forum
vinscena
member
STUCK - HELP!!
A friend of mine is having a destination Wedding. Although I am not a bridesmaid, I was invited to attend the Bachelorette Party (this is also a destination). I received the invite that stated the accommodations would be covered with no mention of any other financial responsibility, except for the obvious flight to the destination + food & drink etc. (which ended up to be over $500). I RSVP-ed and booked my flight. It is now a week and a half before the party and I received an email from the MOH. She is now asking that we throw the bride a Lingerie shower at the destination as well as chip in $110 for an outfit for the bride and to charter a boat for a day trip. At the time I committed to attending the trip I did not anticipate the added financial strain, as I am also getting married and saving for that. What is the best way to handle this ??
I feel stuck! - HELP
I feel stuck! - HELP
"Stay classy San Diego" - Ron Burgundy
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Re: STUCK - HELP!!
[QUOTE]A friend of mine is having a destination Wedding in October. Although I am not a bridesmaid, I was invited to attend the Bachelorette Party (this is also a destination). I received the invite that stated the accommodations would be covered with no mention of any other financial responsibility, except for the obvious flight to the destination + food & drink etc. (which ended up to be over $500). I RSVP-ed and booked my flight. It is now a week and a half before the party and I received an email from the MOH. She is now asking that we throw the bride a Lingerie shower at the destination <strong>as well as chip in $110 for an outfit for the bride and to charter a boat for a day trip.</strong> At the time I committed to attending the trip I did not anticipate the added financial strain, as I am also getting married and saving for that. What is the best way to handle this ?? I feel stuck! - HELP
Posted by vinscena[/QUOTE]
Seriously? Wow. You already purchased your plane tickets so if I were you I'd check to see how much it would cost to change the flight and if it's reasonable I would skip the bachorlette party and use your plane tickets for something else (maybe your honeymoon or the DW). If changing your flight ends up costing more than chipping in extra money for the bridal shower and a stinkin OUTFIT for the bride I would go to the b-party prepared with snarky remarks & tons of eye rolls.
Just email the MOH back and be honest with her that the extra money is not in your budget at this time.
My example is assuming you can afford to buy her some lingerie. Another option is to say you can't do the $110 but you could do $50 (or whatever you can afford). It's pretty crazy of them to expect you to spend that much money on a bachelorette party.
Dammit, I tried to respond to the other one.
Reply that you'll see her at the b-party, since you've booked a flight, but that you are unable to chip in for any of those {ridiculous} last minute requests.
I imagine you're not the only person who has received this e-mail that is upset.
I would tell the maid of honor that you won't be able to contribute any more money. Therefore, you won't be able to go on the boat(?).
What are the other planned activities?
You might not be the only one and she might reconsider all of this or cough up the money herself. Here's hoping.
40/112
*crossing my fingers*
[QUOTE]I truly do not understand the outfit part. How many of you are chipping in $110? Is she wearing something encrusted in gold? (Yes, I realize that the boat's part of it, too, but still!) I would tell the maid of honor that you won't be able to contribute any more money. Therefore, you won't be able to go on the boat(?). What are the other planned activities?
Posted by MattsPenguin[/QUOTE]
If I understood the OP correctly, the $110 is for the bride's outfit AND a charter boat.
that MOH is on something. there's no reason to ask people for that much money. I agree with other's responses
[QUOTE]I would have moral objections to contributing to buying a "bride bikini" that MOH is on something. there's no reason to ask people for that much money. I agree with other's responses
Posted by angie74[/QUOTE]
And, as a bride, I would be MORTIFIED to find out that my MOH had asked people to contribute to something like this, and at such a last minute.
[QUOTE]Just email the MOH back and be honest with her that the extra money is not in your budget at this time.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]
I might even 'reply all' in this situation.
[QUOTE]I'm sorry, but am I the only one that thinks that all this destination stuff is a little ridiculous? It's one thing to have a destination wedding (not a big fan of those, sorry but it's a lot to ask of your guests), but I have to pay a small fortune for a bachelorette party too? OP, the fact that you're even attending is very sweet especially while trying to save for your own wedding. They will have to understand that.
Posted by aecappelli[/QUOTE]
I don't think destination weddings/parties are ridiculous, but the asking for additional money that close to the event, is.
Sent e-mail to MOH regarding my concerns and she was very understanding about my situation. I'm glad I spoke up. Pheeww! Thanks again to everyone for the help
*Happy Ending*