Grand exits...are they really necessary?

jmc53624 · March 2012

My fiance' and I have decided to keep some traditions and throw some out. We are opting out of the grand exit/getaway car thing. Any thoughts on this?

Avion22 · March 2012

We're not doing one. We've rented a town car to take us back to the hotel, and at the end of the night we're just going to get in the car and leave.

toothpastechica · March 2012

nope, not necissary at all! We are not doing anything special...I plan on leaving around half an hour before the official end time, so hopefully it will clear out pretty quick, but anyone who is chatting can feel free to keep chatting for a bit.

AdeleDazeem · March 2012

I have literally never seen anyone do a grand exit... and I've been to close to 20 weddings.

rlavach · March 2012

I've never seen a grand exit either. Usually 1/3 of the crowd (the older ones) are gone by the end anyway. The rest of the people are just tired from dancing and eating. I don't see the point to it, personally. And apparently none of the brides & grooms I've ever personally met have seen the point either!

RussoWill · March 2012

We didn;t do one. To be honest, I forgot we were "supposed" to plan one, but no one seemed to notice.

em01092 · March 2012

We bought sparklers to do our "grand exit", but we aren't renting a fancy car or a limo. I just wanted the photo op/pictures of having our guests wave sparklers. We got enough for all guests, but we figure some wil leave early, so some people can just have 2.

Ash61612 · March 2012

Do what you want to do. It doesn't have to be grand. FI is in charge of our get away. Our venue doesn't allow rice, sparklers, etc. I would be just as content to give everyone "goodbye" hugs then getting in our car and leaving.

Girlie1030 · March 2012

We didn't do one either. We were the last to leave and just got in the town car and headed off to the hotel. Nobody will miss it.

dori851 · March 2012

We're not doing one. Totally not necessary.

direy25 · March 2012

We didn't do one - we were on the last shuttle back to our hotel with a bunch of our guests.

divinemsbee · March 2012

In the past few years, the only way I've seen them done was for photo ops. We were herded outside with our birdseed/bubbles/whatever and they loosely positioned us and then the bride and groom ran through and the photographer took pictures and then we all went back inside. It was fine, the pics were pretty, but it wasn't really an exit. I have seen it done where the bride and groom did their "exit" with birdseed onto the church steps and "drove away" in a "Just Married" car. Basically I think they drove around the block and then back to the church for pics.

ElisabethJoanne · March 2012

Not necessary. I was just looking at a professional photographer's handbook (for photographers, not brides) that recommended staging a grand exit even if the bride's plans don't call for one. I'm so glad we're past the days of one-size-fits-all receptions and photo albums. Why would I want to have an album that tells some cookie-cutter story rather than the real story of my wedding?

Another reason I don't like them is I've attended weddings where I try to politely say goodbye after an hour of dancing, so way past when the old etiquette books say it's polite to leave, and have been guilt-tripped into staying for the grand exit. Messes up evening plans I might have following an afternoon wedding. I'm not the photographer. Let me go. [Yes, I could shrug off the guilt trip and just go, but...]

We hope to just slip out while everyone's still having a good time.

JaxInBlue · March 2012

Didn't have one and didn't miss it. We stayed at our reception until the very end. We did ask the DJ to play a specific last song though.

melntaitt · March 2012

Didn't plan one...and to be honest I didn't know we needed one. We're staying until the last guest leaves then we're driving to the inn, in our Jeep that he drives to work every day.

AurorasEnvy · March 2012

I've also never seen one at any wedding I've been to. Why would I want to leave our own party earlier than everyone else?

LuckyGirl1713 · March 2012

i've never seen a grand exit at a wedding either and i've been to quite a few. i've always seen the bride and groom hanging around to say goodbye to all their guests.

LauraLarry · March 2012

I'll be the odd duck in the bunch! The answer to your question is no it's not necessary, but I don't agree that people don't notice/care. We are planning a grand exit, complete with fireworks and a special getaway car and a complete different outfit for us each. BUT we have room for it in our budget and it's important to us. Figure out what you wanna spend your money on and do it. If it doesn't matter to you, then don't bother. But if you think people don't notice or they "don't miss it", sorry but they do, and clearly people here have only been to cheaper weddings

Lisa50 · March 2012

We did not have a grand exit. I don't think you'll miss it if you don't really want it.

cmhutchison22 · March 2012

I have never seen a grand exit from the reception. I have seen it from the ceremony. The couple comes out of venue and gets in the car. I don't think an exit from the reception is needed. It does not make sense.

monkeysip · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grand-exitsare-they-really-necessary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:78149889-9d9b-4a8d-910d-f205ae6e7f35Post:eb82428a-7f54-48e0-a2cd-067fe331fe1a">Re: Grand exits...are they really necessary?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll be the odd duck in the bunch! The answer to your question is no it's not necessary, but I don't agree that people don't notice/care. We are planning a grand exit, complete with fireworks and a special getaway car and a complete different outfit for us each. BUT we have room for it in our budget and it's important to us. Figure out what you wanna spend your money on and do it. If it doesn't matter to you, then don't bother. But if you think people don't notice or they "don't miss it", sorry but they do, and clearly people here have only been to cheaper weddings :)
Posted by LauraLarry[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Wait, what?</div><div>
</div><div>I think grand exits can be very cute, and I've seen a couple. But they're not necessary at all, and I think a lot of guests enjoy partying with the B&G until the end instead of watching them leave. </div><div>
</div><div>It's pretty snotty of you to say that these were "cheaper" weddings or that guests necessarily missed a grand exit.

</div>

mandctaft · March 2012

We aren't doing one at all. We have to have the reception site cleaned up before we leave for the night and I'm not making anyone stay and clean while we run away. I will still be in my dress so I probably won't be much help, but we're at least staying to make sure everything gets done. Plus when we get done, the plan is to go to a bar around the corner once the reception is over, so no point in a grand exit.

vexie · March 2012

Nope, we didn't do one. We stayed til the end so we could chat with all our guests and say good bye to each of them. I remember back in the day it was trendy for couples to change into their 'going away outfits' and do the big exit thing, complete with fancy, decorated car and fanfare, but I haven't seen that done in years! (and no, LauraLarry, NOT because the weddings I've attended have all been 'cheap' *eye roll*)

Negazilla · March 2012

And there the conundrum lies, because I did want to do one but as soon as you do the party is officially over. And doing a fake one for pictures is silly. We'll see I guess but it's probably a great feeling to be riding off into the sunset as newlyweds.

AurorasEnvy · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grand-exitsare-they-really-necessary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:78149889-9d9b-4a8d-910d-f205ae6e7f35Post:eb82428a-7f54-48e0-a2cd-067fe331fe1a">Re: Grand exits...are they really necessary?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll be the odd duck in the bunch! The answer to your question is no it's not necessary, but I don't agree that people don't notice/care. We are planning a grand exit, complete with fireworks and a special getaway car and a complete different outfit for us each. BUT we have room for it in our budget and it's important to us. Figure out what you wanna spend your money on and do it. If it doesn't matter to you, then don't bother. But if you think people don't notice or they "don't miss it", sorry but they do, and clearly people here have only been to cheaper weddings :)
Posted by LauraLarry[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Is this a troll?</div><div>
</div><div>"Grand exit" doesn't have anything to do with budget, seeing as you could do it pretty cheap and there is no cost to leave your own party early. Most of the weddings I've been to the guests party with the bride & groom til the lights come back on, and then the bride & groom say goodbye & thank everyone for coming as the guests leave. </div><div>
</div><div>And not to sound like a snob, but FI and I both have doctorate degrees and in turn have many friends with doctorate degrees. As a consequence most of the weddings we attend are not "cheaper weddings". Maybe you shouldn't make assumptions seeing as certain traditions, such as a grand exit, often vary greatly by region and have nothing whatsoever to do with money. But I'm sure all the other brides on here not doing a grand exit or who have never been to a wedding with a grand exit appeciate your implication that their weddings are cheap & unsophisticated.

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MiksChick23 · March 2012

We'll probably be the LAST people to leave, and since we're not doing a honeymoon until later in the year...I'm with ya! Skipping it all together. I haven't been to a wedding for several years that DID have that.

MiksChick23 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grand-exitsare-they-really-necessary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:78149889-9d9b-4a8d-910d-f205ae6e7f35Post:eb82428a-7f54-48e0-a2cd-067fe331fe1a">Re: Grand exits...are they really necessary?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll be the odd duck in the bunch! The answer to your question is no it's not necessary, but I don't agree that people don't notice/care. We are planning a grand exit, complete with fireworks and a special getaway car and a complete different outfit for us each. BUT we have room for it in our budget and it's important to us. Figure out what you wanna spend your money on and do it. If it doesn't matter to you, then don't bother. But if you think people don't notice or they "don't miss it", sorry but they do, and clearly people here have only been to cheaper weddings :)
Posted by LauraLarry[/QUOTE]

Ouch! My wedding is NOT cheap - atleast not for me! I don't want to leave the party early, it has nothing to do with not wanting to budget for it. I don't see a necessity. I'd say its a taste thing more than a money thing.

divinemsbee · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grand-exitsare-they-really-necessary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:78149889-9d9b-4a8d-910d-f205ae6e7f35Post:6801515b-8674-4cc2-96b3-d639e8934654">Re: Grand exits...are they really necessary?</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope, we didn't do one. We stayed til the end so we could chat with all our guests and say good bye to each of them. <strong>I remember back in the day it was trendy for couples to change into their 'going away outfits' and do the big exit thing, complete with fancy, decorated car and fanfare, but I haven't seen that done in years! </strong> (and no, LauraLarry, NOT because the weddings I've attended have all been 'cheap' *eye roll*)
Posted by vexie[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, the last time I saw the whole "going away outfit" with rice and a decorated car was probably late 80s early 90s. And it was at a decidedly cheap wedding. </div><div>
</div><div>I'm sure people still do it, but I think it's slowly phased out because most brides want to stay in their dress as long as they can (because when else are you going to wear it?), and because if you're spending that much on a party, and that much time on making it awesome and working on every detail, then you want to stay til the end. Also, as someone else mentioned, most brides now are in some way involved in the clean-up/tear-down of their venue, so they don't tend to leave first. </div><div>
</div>

s1hilliard · March 2012

Nothing is necessary..its your wedding do whatever you and your husband to be are comfortable with! If you think its not needed and you do not want to do it then don't, I do not believe it is anything people are going to be expecting and waiting for.

em01092 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grand-exitsare-they-really-necessary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:78149889-9d9b-4a8d-910d-f205ae6e7f35Post:17751ee0-30da-455a-abf0-dbf2cb014346">Re: Grand exits...are they really necessary?</a>:
[QUOTE]Nothing is necessary.<strong>.its your wedding do whatever you and your husband to be are comfortable with! </strong>If you think its not needed and you do not want to do it then don't, I do not believe it is anything people are going to be expecting and waiting for.
Posted by s1hilliard[/QUOTE]

<div>Ok, in this case regarding a grand exit, yes, you're fine to say this, but overall, I'd be careful with this line of thinking. The reception is a thank you to the guests, so their needs and comforts should be considered. It ceases to be only about the couple when they choose to involve other people in "their" day. </div><div>
</div><div>And for the poster who said something about cheap weddings and whatnot, I think she was taking the word "grand" a little too much to heart about the whole question. I think she came off sounding more snobby than she meant to because she was playing up the "grand" part, and most of us were more or less talking about an exit in general. Idk. </div><div>
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carrieloomis · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grand-exitsare-they-really-necessary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:78149889-9d9b-4a8d-910d-f205ae6e7f35Post:43600ef2-7b66-41e9-9e95-76d005fd81d7">Re: Grand exits...are they really necessary?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Grand exits...are they really necessary? : Is this a troll? "Grand exit" doesn't have anything to do with budget, seeing as you could do it pretty cheap and there is no cost to leave your own party early. Most of the weddings I've been to the guests party with the bride & groom til the lights come back on, and then the bride & groom say goodbye & thank everyone for coming as the guests leave. And not to sound like a snob, but FI and I both have doctorate degrees and in turn have many friends with doctorate degrees. As a consequence most of the weddings we attend are not "cheaper weddings". Maybe you shouldn't make assumptions seeing as certain traditions, such as a grand exit, often vary greatly by region and have nothing whatsoever to do with money. But I'm sure all the other brides on here not doing a grand exit or who have never been to a wedding with a grand exit appeciate your implication that their weddings are cheap & unsophisticated.
Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>**applause** </div><div>
</div><div>now excuse me while i plan my "cheap" wedding... smh...</div>

Grand exits...are they really necessary?

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