Hello all!
I am newly engaged and was wondering if I could get some planning advice. My FI and I are planning our wedding for summer 2011 sometime and we're trying to brainstorm a general idea before approaching the budget subject.
Our dilemma is that we are considering having 2 weddings. The reasoning is that we live on complete opposite sides of the country from our families (we are in British Columbia, they are mostly in Ontario). We were considering having 1 wedding (approx. 75 people) here in BC, which all of our friends from BC wouild be invited to.
Then the following week, we were considering another wedding in Ontario for all of our family and close friends from there (approx. 75 people as well). The only people that would be iinvited to both would be our wedding party (right now I'm only considering a MOH ~ my sister for my side).
We figured this would the least expensive way as otherwise we're asking many people to fly somewhere for our wedding and we rather not make it a large expense for anyone.
Thoughts? Comments?
Thank you
Re: 2 Weddings?
People do travel for weddings. You can have just one wedding and reception and invite everyone and let them decide for themselves if they can make it. If it turns out that a vast majority of people from Ontario aren't coming, you could consider having a 2nd reception there, but not a whole wedding ceremony because that would just be a farce.
IMO, a lot of people travel for weddings these days, and people understand it can't be convenient for everybody. I would just pick one and invite everybody, and if they can't come, they can't come.
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http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=24385812
If you don't want to click the link, she basically says that, "People seem to have forgotten that a wedding is an occasion at which a couple gets married."
Your best bet is to have one wedding in one place and invite everyone. Will they all come? Probably not... but I would certainly NOT go to a fake wedding no matter how close it was. Especially if I wasn't invited to the real one.
Set up one event, invite everyone. Let guests decide if the travel is too much for them to make it, and then if you feel that an overwhelming number of people can't make it, host a smaller casual get together to celebrate with those who can't make it, but not a full blown 2nd wedding and reception.
We discussed in the beginning of planning that if a lot of the West Coast family couldn't make it, we would plan a trip out there next summer to visit everyone and rent out a room in a restaurant or something to get everyone together. Not even as fancy as a second reception. It never even crossed my mind to have two weddings.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_2-weddings-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95718418-ce6a-4d65-a3ea-77ef0dafb40aPost:3ced36a5-c71a-4a12-bd9b-eb5a69b2d33a">Re: 2 Weddings?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you don't want to click the link, she basically says that, "People seem to have forgotten that a wedding is an occasion at which a couple gets married."
Posted by Femlin[/QUOTE]
yay miss manners.
[QUOTE]I think all of the people in Ontario would be really bummed and feel second class because the 2nd wedding isn't a wedding at all. You'd already be married. People do travel for weddings. You can have just one wedding and reception and invite everyone and let them decide for themselves if they can make it. If it turns out that a vast majority of people from Ontario aren't coming, you could consider having a 2nd reception there, but not a whole wedding ceremony because that would just be a farce.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]
Dani is a wise, wise woman. Nicely put.
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
More than half of the guests were there from SCOTLAND.
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
When the time comes, people who can make it will. People who cannot will fall into that category that we ALL have - "people who couldn't make it."
We have guests coming in from both coasts, three countries, and in some cases - in between military deployments. We, as well as our family and friends, are well aware that you'll never be able to work it in a way that everyone can make it. I find it better to have one real wedding with as many family and friends (from all areas) in one spot, than to try to do it in two areas at two different times.
Good luck with whatever you decide and congratulations.
I think you should pick one location and have the wedding there. If a huge group of people can't make it, you might want to consider having your ceremony broadcast live on a website that your friends and family can view who aren't able to make it.
Planning!.....Married!
You are all right that the second wedding isn't right but I'm happy for your honesty. Was just thinking about ways to save money for everyone involved but planning 1 wedding would definitely be a lot easier.
Thank you for all the input and I apologize for a late reply as I was away at work.