Wyoming
thinking about cancelling JH wedding
Well, FI and I are having to make a very, very difficult decision soon.
My father was given a few month to live. There is no more chemo or surgeries available to him. The cancer has spread and he cannot buy anymore time.
Our wedding was to be in 5 months. The timing of both is too, too close for comfort. He doesn't live near me, so I'm going to have to fly home several times with FI which will require some extra funds.
To relieve myself of having to put on a destination wedding weekend, cancelling would be the best thing to do. It would relieve my sisters and mom from the worries of having to travel out to Wyoming each with new babies, and having put on a happy face when they are mourning.
I can think of so many pros for cancelling. The only con for cancelling is my dad doesn't want us to do that. But we cannot just go on all happy and cheery so soon. We need some time.
My dad wanted us to continue as planned, but should the events happen too close, I just don't know how I'll manage. I want to be there mentally for my family, not switching gears after a funeral to finish up wedding planning.
FI and I aren't sure what we'll do. We have a few weeks to cancel and get our money back, even if we go over that deadline, we are ok to be out a little money if we aren't ready to decide at the deadline date. But we should come up with an answer no later than 2 months from today as that would give guests 3 months to buy airfare tickets - a reasonable time if we continued.
If we cancel, we'll wait until the dust has settled, I've healed a little and consider redoing the wedding smaller scale in Utah (maybe a winder wedding and guests can ski, or in the desert where it'll be not as cold), or just eloping somewhere awesome and making it the honeymoon as well (Banff, Hawaii, New Zealand?). We didn't have a honeymoon planned since we put all our energy and funds into making this a weekend vacation for all. It's hard to settle when you've had the Tetons planned all along, so I'd want something equally as grand in terms of location.
My father was given a few month to live. There is no more chemo or surgeries available to him. The cancer has spread and he cannot buy anymore time.
Our wedding was to be in 5 months. The timing of both is too, too close for comfort. He doesn't live near me, so I'm going to have to fly home several times with FI which will require some extra funds.
To relieve myself of having to put on a destination wedding weekend, cancelling would be the best thing to do. It would relieve my sisters and mom from the worries of having to travel out to Wyoming each with new babies, and having put on a happy face when they are mourning.
I can think of so many pros for cancelling. The only con for cancelling is my dad doesn't want us to do that. But we cannot just go on all happy and cheery so soon. We need some time.
My dad wanted us to continue as planned, but should the events happen too close, I just don't know how I'll manage. I want to be there mentally for my family, not switching gears after a funeral to finish up wedding planning.
FI and I aren't sure what we'll do. We have a few weeks to cancel and get our money back, even if we go over that deadline, we are ok to be out a little money if we aren't ready to decide at the deadline date. But we should come up with an answer no later than 2 months from today as that would give guests 3 months to buy airfare tickets - a reasonable time if we continued.
If we cancel, we'll wait until the dust has settled, I've healed a little and consider redoing the wedding smaller scale in Utah (maybe a winder wedding and guests can ski, or in the desert where it'll be not as cold), or just eloping somewhere awesome and making it the honeymoon as well (Banff, Hawaii, New Zealand?). We didn't have a honeymoon planned since we put all our energy and funds into making this a weekend vacation for all. It's hard to settle when you've had the Tetons planned all along, so I'd want something equally as grand in terms of location.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: thinking about cancelling JH wedding
PLANNING/WEDDING BIO
Although no one can predict, it's a possibility that they will be close. The pure probability of it is enough to make us reconsider this. My dad feels that it will be sooner. One sister is having a baby this month and another sister next month, he doesn't think he'll be here to see the second baby. We're flying home in 2 weeks, unless we hear sooner but buyingthem last minute just in case. Several last minute flights back home are going to affect our funds.
Although working, going to work/school, taking care of a child all seems like things you just have to do, you know? We can actually control the wedding, the one of few things we can control.
We could replan it after the dust settles. Have it later in the year at Teton Mountain Lodge, near Salt Lake for more convenience, and the most convenient of them all - we just go elope and make it our honeymoon. Banff, Hawaii, New Zealand and Norway are on our lists.
Researching it all was fun for me, but executing the plans was really overwhelming and scary. Altough I am sad I won't ever get that family wedding event (this was my second chance), there's a mourning sense of relief as well. I felt like I was such a burden on my guests so much for having them come to us.
We'll decide in 1-2 months. One month we'll get all our money back, but no later than 2 months; because that would 3 months for guests to buy tickets should we continue.
I hope to talk about this more when we go back home. I'm trying to get this thesis off my plate before things get worse with my dad
PLANNING/WEDDING BIO
We're actually going to JH tomorrow for 3 days. My FI and I are volunteering with a group from Logan that takes persons with disabilities inot the outdoors. We'll be staying at the Teton Science School and taking the participants dog sledding, snow shoeing and xc skiing in the park. I'm looking forward to it! I've always been to JH in the summer, never the winter.
PLANNING/WEDDING BIO
[QUOTE]My dad passed away this last April. You won't be able to focus on your wedding, and neither will anyone else. I won't tell you don't get married, but I'm glad that we put everything on hold to spend time to see my dad before he left us here on Earth. You will have some of the best memories with him in the next few weeks/and months. Every conversation will resonate with you for years to come. Do what's right for you, and know that in the end, that's what your dad would want for you anyway.
Posted by kitkatchica86[/QUOTE]
Thank you for posting Kikatchica. I am sorry for the loss of your dad too. I agree, if I have trouble focusing now, it'll be worse later on. Cancelling is the best option and luckily no one is out any money either with only 4.5 months left.