Love the guy...not the ring.

dsherrid02 · May 2011

Let me begin by saying that I have the most amazing fiance and I love him to death!!! He proposed this past weekend and I'm super excited. There's just one issue, I'm not in love with the ring. It's a solitare ring but the diamond comprises of 4 smaller diamonds made to look like one huge one from afar. That's my issue. I would have preferred a smaller diamond rather than 4 small stones which give an appearance of one huge rock.

WHAT DO I DO? I understand the reason for him choosing the diamond. We're really on a limited budget. He just started a new job and things are tight. One friend suggested that I trade in my engagement ring from a failed engagement and use that for an upgrade. Is that kind of weird?

CassieeK · May 2011

Congratulations on your engagement! I would think your fiance would be hurt if you used a diamond from an ex in your engagement ring. I think I would probably just suck it up and wait for an anniversary to upgrade. But if you know he wouldn't be hurt by you telling him you're not crazy about the ring, maybe talk to him about it and see about picking out a new one you like. Only you know he would react to that conversation.

Elle1036 · May 2011

I think my views on this may be a little outside the norm, but...

I think you have a right to be happy with a ring you're expected to wear until you die. I also think your FI most likely really wants you to have a ring you love, and therefore has a right to know if you aren't crazy about it.

Still, though, it may be hard for him to hear that you don't like it if he picked it out himself, so be tactful in how you bring it up to him.

If you have an old ring from a prior engagement, why not sell it and use the cash to upgrade your new one?

desertmomnm · May 2011

I agree with you. I don't really care for the rings that are made to look like bigger diamonds, but are actually made of smaller ones. I thought you were saying you were going to trade in your former engagement ring and use the money towards something new instead of using the old stone. Is that right? That might not be a bad idea if funds are short. I just know that I suggested that we get a new wedding band and my husband was very hurt, so your fiance might be too, in which case you stick with the current ring because it represents the love of a great man.

missjets · May 2011

My FI waited until we were financially stable to propose. The pro in this is that he had the money to buy me a fabulous ring, the con is that I waited 11 years. If he would have proposed 5 years ago with a smaller less expensive ring I would have screamed yes! I think if you want to talk to him about changing the ring, it should be done on HIS budget. IMO the old engagement ring shouldnt even be brought up. It's tacky IMO. But that's not to say you shouldnt love your ring. I would talk to him about going back to the jeweler her bought it from and see what else is available in that price point. You should be able to find something you both love.

Charity

Love the guy...not the ring.

Re: Love the guy...not the ring.

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