is it OK to ask?

rbtrumpet · July 2010

I have a friend who has been in a relationship for quite a while. They are practically inseparable. I do not know her BF very well. We invited her with "+1 guest".

She only RSVP''ed for 1.

According to FB she is still in a relationship with him.

Is it bad etiquette to ask her if she will be bringing him or not? I know it seems kinda obvious, if she RSVP'ed for 1, then only she is coming - but I want to make sure there wasn't any sort of miscommunication (like I forgot the "& guest" on her invite or something stupid like that....I kinda lost track after 150 invites)

danieliza1127 · July 2010

Did you use his name on the invitation or just "and Guest"? It's possible that they were offended that you didn't use his name, but I doubt that would keep him from coming. Maybe he's just busy but she still wants to come. If you talk to her in normal conversation, you might say you'll miss seeing him at the wedding, and see what she says, but I wouldn't go out of your way to ask.

arbolita · July 2010

Depending on how good of a friend it is, I might ask, "Hey, how come so-and-so isn't coming?" You could probably just call her to chat about non-wedding things and to catch up, and see if she mentions anything.

vtbm · July 2010

I'd just say something like "oh I'm sorry to hear your boyfriend can't make it to the wedding" or something to that extent. Or maybe another friend knows the story and you can ask them?

zippityb · July 2010

He probably has some other thing planned for that night. I would take her RSVP at face value and have that be it.

pooh8402 · July 2010

I probably wouldn't say anything about it and just ask at the wedding. besides, if she's anything like my guests, she'll probably call you the week before and request to add him because his plans changed. yes, I had a lot of people do this. *rolling eyes*

alternatively, if your budget or count or whatever allows for some flexibility, you could call her and say that you're sorry he can't come, but if his plans change, he is more than welcome. I did this in a couple of cases.

shadowfish318 · July 2010

I would call and say we had 2 spaces left open for you on our list but you only responded for one. She might not have realized that she only responded for 1 or maybe he is busy. Definetly call!

rbtrumpet · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-ask?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:674d5ca7-ee0c-4919-9a63-098312a386e9Post:afda9943-331a-4cd1-9efc-be51bdcd3fc6">Re: is it OK to ask?</a>:
[QUOTE]I probably wouldn't say anything about it and just ask at the wedding. besides, if she's anything like my guests, she'll probably call you the week before and request to add him because his plans changed. yes, I had a lot of people do this. *rolling eyes* alternatively, if your budget or count or whatever allows for some flexibility, <strong>you could call her and say that you're sorry he can't come, but if his plans change, he is more than welcome</strong>. I did this in a couple of cases.
Posted by pooh8402[/QUOTE]

<div>heh - we have a LOT of flexibility, it's quite nice :). We wanted 200, looks like we're only going to get about 160-170.</div><div>
</div><div>I like the bold part :)</div>

Simply Fated · July 2010

I dont' think it's bad etiquette in this case to casually mention it, as previous posters have said. I mean, it's one thing to ask someone outright why they aren't coming, but if you're friends with her, I think it's ok to bring it up in a very casual, "It sucks he can't come" kind-of way.

JenO24 · July 2010

I'd ask her just to make sure...better safe than sorry I think!

is it OK to ask?

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