Really

banana468 · February 2010

Suz, I agree that the mom is being dumb here too.

But that still doesn't mean that it's OK to do the replacement deal with the kids. It doesn't matter the age of the person - it is the suck if you replace people in the wedding. The kid may care and the parent will too.

Go tell a 5 yo that he's going to get to do something really fun and then tell him a few days later that his cousin gets to do it instead. Then come tell me that 'kids don't care'. (Granted, "fun" to a boy may not be acting as RB but you never know).

buddhagouda · February 2010

I agree that it's craptastic to replace someone in a wedding, but it's not really your fault if they drop out over something stupid. I think both parties are in the wrong here. If I was the bride, I would try to find something that worked. If I was the mom, I would not be insisting my child wear something the bride hated.

If the mom pulls the kid out because she's not getting her way, replace away.

suz62984 · February 2010

Banana-I see your point. Yes, it will hurt the child's feelings but she isn't the one kicking the kid out. The mom is taking that away from him.

Buddha "If the mom pulls the kid out because she's not getting her way, replace away. " - Sorry banana I just agree with this.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

I don't like the idea of an all white outfit with ballet shoes, BUT my nephew wore a tux for a wedding (he is under 2!!) and looked sorta silly. I would much rather have seen him in a nice child outfit. Maybe a nice shirt and sweater vest. But I also don't think a 2 year old needs to be standing up in a wedding unless it is the B & G's child.

banana468 · February 2010

Buddha, I agree with you up to the replacing thing.

And then it would be for the kid's feelings - not the mom's. I'd hate to penalize the kid having to say, "If your mom wasn't a jerkface, you'd be in the wedding."

swtasa · February 2010

Tell your sister you consider stockings to be for girls and unless she wants her son to stand up as the flower girl you'd suggest she rethink her stance on that suit.

Let her do white if she must, no one is going to even notice but make pants and dress shoes a must.

If she can't agree to that, let her pull her kid. Don't replace him though seriously, just do without. We're having a FG but no RB because my daughter is the FG and no one else to be RB without searching for random relatives to do it. It would be really hurtful to the kid of you picked someone else to do it so yeah just don't

buddhagouda · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:f22d67b8-a917-4a1b-8f8d-bc6c9fb3d9f4">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]Buddha, I agree with you up to the replacing thing. And then it would be for the kid's feelings - not the mom's. I'd hate to penalize the kid having to say, "If your mom wasn't a jerkface, you'd be in the wedding."
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I totally get that. Honestly, if it happened to me I wouldn't replace. I would just not have one. We only had a FG because we had a little girl that was important in our lives and did not have a boy. I wouldn't find a random kid to fill the spot. </div><div>
</div><div>I would however not let the mother bully me into something that I absolutely hated. I would try to find a compromise and something that worked for us both, but ultimately, it's on her if she pulls the kid out. </div>

buddhagouda · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:f22d67b8-a917-4a1b-8f8d-bc6c9fb3d9f4">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]Buddha, I agree with you up to the replacing thing. And then it would be for the kid's feelings - not the mom's. I'd hate to penalize the kid having to say, "If your mom wasn't a jerkface, you'd be in the wedding."
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I totally get that. Honestly, if it happened to me I wouldn't replace. I would just not have one. We only had a FG because we had a little girl that was important in our lives and did not have a boy. I wouldn't find a random kid to fill the spot. </div><div>
</div><div>I would however not let the mother bully me into something that I absolutely hated. I would try to find a compromise and something that worked for us both, but ultimately, it's on her if she pulls the kid out. </div>

SteveandKris · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:4b0b8af7-7b95-420d-9123-6fb6c688084d">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]according to ettiquite books, a tuxedo on anyone under 18 is inappropriate. i happen to think little boys in tuxes are adorable! could you put both outfits in front of your nephew and ask him which he wants to wear? at 5, he's old enough to have an opinion.
Posted by Liz4444[/QUOTE]

Really? My prom date wore one and he was 17. Was that inappropriate? I understand that tuxes sometimes aren't available for the little guys, but inappropriate?

Liz4444 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:9f7246db-a4c8-4357-a8e5-c3c40135c6e9">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Really : Really? My prom date wore one and he was 17. Was that inappropriate? I understand that tuxes sometimes aren't available for the little guys, but inappropriate?
Posted by SteveandKris[/QUOTE]

technically, according to ettiquite books, it is... i don't really agree. i have been to hundreds of black tie bar mitzvahs with 13 year olds in tuxes. my prom date wore a tux too...

i just know this because my mom keeps telling me because i am having a black tie wedding and my 14 year old cousin is going to be wearing a black suit, not a tux but his 20 year old brother will be getting a tux... so she keeps telling me that's what is technically correct (she seems to think i care)
frankly, the only reason he's not wearing a tux is because my aunt and uncle don't want to waste $ on a tux he's going to wear once and probably grow out of before he gets the chance to wear it again.

kimheartsscott · February 2010

In my state, there are no gay ANYTHINGS in weddings. We voted down that shyt.

....
Aww man, there is a page 2? This is less relevent now.

Katie829 · February 2010

OP, did you say this is your sister right? can't you speak to her and ask her respect that you think it would look funny at the wedding. i think she is being a bit childish using her own child against, saying she will pull him out of the wedding-- which in turn hurts you and the child. i would talk to her, again i say bluff it! I know I would love to have my child (if I had one) in the wedding.

What next, is she going dictate the type of pillow that he carries??

krmabojo · February 2010

I am so so SO sorry.

I never thought that this would ever be an issue for someone... I just always thought "wedding. ring bearer. black suit/tux."

Good luck

notquiteblushing · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:287faa6c-261c-48fc-87bf-5b60bfef7689">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]In my state, there are no gay ANYTHINGS in weddings. We voted down that shyt. .... Aww man, there is a page 2? This is less relevent now.
Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]

? I'm just gonna hope that's a joke.

Anyway I had to google Eton suit and that's so not cool. I would tell the mom what you want and try to find a compromise. But be prepared to lose a RB if need be.

mbcdefg · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:287faa6c-261c-48fc-87bf-5b60bfef7689">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]In my state, there are no gay ANYTHINGS in weddings. We voted down that shyt.
Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]

And it's a good thing you did! I mean, Canada legalized gay marriage and look what happened to them ... the Olympic cauldron didn't work.

e_uecker · February 2010

Eww how is that cute at all? I'd say "ok then he's out of the wedding." Maybe then she'll realize that you wouldn't let him walk down the aisle in that god awful thing.

jms2010 · February 2010

Unless your sister is Angela Martin from the office, then I don't get it. A little boy wearing that suit is far stranger than a little boy in a tux. Take a stand for your nephew's sake. I forsee years of comments like "remember when aunt crazy made little johnny wear that costume and tights to aunt mromag's wedding?!". Just say no, if she pulls him out of the wedding then it's for the better as far as I'm concerned. He'll thank you when he's a teen.

CaliopeSpidrman · February 2010

Oh good, someone else I can add to the Giant Douchebag pile. Take a seat next to swastika, kimheartsscott.

Really

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