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Wedding Etiquette Forum
nina107c
member
Co-workers spouses or not
Planning for an Oct. 23, 2010 wedding. We were planning on having 150 for the wedding but it's now at 175 after we've cut. Here's my predicament, I have 13 co-workers I'd like to invite. 2 of those I am inviting spouses because I am a bit closer with them. So, is it okay to invite my other co-workers without their spouses or is that tacky?
Also, if invite some kids do I have to invite all kids? Thanks for the help everyone.
Also, if invite some kids do I have to invite all kids? Thanks for the help everyone.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Co-workers spouses or not
Make your guest list cuts elsewhere.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
invite one kid, invite all.
I kinda think you aren't real. this is common sence.
40/112
The kids situation sort of depends. For example, H has a ten year old brother, so if he was at our wedding, but no other kids were, I think people would understand. Or, if the only kids were your flower girl and or ring bearer... you get the idea. But, if a couple showed up and saw a whole bunch of other kids running around, they might be a bit miffed that their children were not invited. Some people will understand/won't care, some people will not understand/will care.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]So, is it okay to invite my other co-workers without their spouses or is that tacky?
Posted by nina107c[/QUOTE]
Not tacky, but completely rude.
You have a little more wiggle room for the kids. You may invite all kids, no kids, or set an age minimum (10+, 12+) etc if you don't want any babies or toddlers.
Whatever you end up doing, just ensure you are clear about who is invited (and not invited) on the invitation. If you are doing no kids, just address the invitation to the parents, not to the whole family, etc. HTH
FOB had over 100 nieces and nephews on his side alone. B&G chose the ones they were close to as some of them they had never even met.
On my side, there were about half that number of nieces but the same policy held. Some are closer than others.
Spouses are never optional, they must be invited
[QUOTE]If you invite your coworkers without their s/o, be prepared for upset coworkers and decline replies. If you can't afford to invite the s/os, don't invite the coworkers- it's far less insulting to not receive an invite at all than it is to be invited without your partner, IMO.
Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]
I agree. If I was invited to a wedding and DH wasn't, I'd decline to go.
As for the children, invite in a way that makes sense. Kids aren't an 'all or nothing' group but you do have to keep logistics and fairness in mind if you begin to eliminate.
[QUOTE]I would definitely either invite all of their spouses as well or none of your coworkers. The kids situation sort of depends. For example, H has a ten year old brother, so if he was at our wedding, but no other kids were, I think people would understand. Or, if the only kids were your flower girl and or ring bearer... you get the idea. But, if a couple showed up and saw a whole bunch of other kids running around, they might be a bit miffed that their children were not invited. Some people will understand/won't care, some people will not understand/will care.
Posted by lauralaur[/QUOTE]
This
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
As far as kids, do not set an age limit. You can't enforce it. What happens if a family has a 9 year old and a 13 year old? You're going to invite everyone except the 9 year old in that family? No.
You can limit kids, but it must be an obvious cut line. Some people only invite kids in the wedding party, or kids in the immediate family, or limit kids to family only (cousins, etc). You cannot, however, invite only some kids of one group, without pissing people off.
http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Co-workers spouses or not : I agree. If I was invited to a wedding and DH wasn't, I'd decline to go.
Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]
This AND I wouldn't send a gift.
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
AND, that coworker would have also given me a HUGE sign as to what kind of integrity I could expect from him/her in the workplace.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Co-workers spouses or not : This AND I wouldn't send a gift.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]
Right!
My Married Bio
My Planning Bio
CFL Knottie Bio
Mostly because, one part of getting married is stating that we are a social unit.. So it's kind of weird to be invited to a union of two people being told that out commitiment in being a union is not really relevent.
That's not the point though. The wedding isn't a work event. It's a social event.
And even when I have a work event, DH is ALWAYS invited when its outside office hours.
My Married Bio
My Planning Bio
CFL Knottie Bio