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So, he said...

I had known my FI for a while, I thought he was a find, but he never asked me out. Well, I lost some weight, and started paying more attention to my health, and I started feeling better about myself, and then he asked me out for our first date...
I asked him Why he had not asked me out before, and he replied-
"I thought you were an awesome Girl, but I am looking for what you beacme by yourself, not what I could turn you into.  It is not my place to tell a woman , before I am married to her, how she is supposed to look and live. Just like I would not expect you to try and successfully change me, I could not expect you to fit an expectation which you are not motivated to be.  I want to be able to physiaclly lift my wife, not only for fun, but also safety.  I want to see her pursue a healthy lifestyle, and keep herself up.  I wanted to see if you would change for your sake, not mine.  I don't want Barbie, but remember Guys are SUPER visual, so thanks for helping a brother out!"
Any thoughts?

Re: So, he said...

  • edited December 2011
    I would rather hear that, then feel pressure that I did not measure up all the time, afterall- there is enough from Cosmo and the other airbrushed/photoshopped rags at the checkout line!!!  I have to respect him for that.  But then I know of other girls, who once they started dating a guy, lost weight due being out and about, instead of sitting in front of the TV... or worse, romance novels...
  • edited December 2011
    Well, It is honorable for him, and respectable, I mean, how many of us would marry a Tommy Boy, before he straightened himself up?
  • JbreeJbree member
    edited December 2011
    Men are very visual, otherwise the porn industry would be very small. 
  • edited December 2011
    My dad gave me this advice after an arguement with my mom-
     "Never marry a man thinking you are going to change him, only God can do that. Even then, he will fight God changing him.  So if he resists God, how much change can you effect?  Nagging him only makes you a nag, and nagging only divides and isolates."
    He also reminded me of Mr. Anthony who lived a few doors down, he would ask to come and sit on the patio, in the blazing summer sun, to read the paper and drink some iced tea on Saturdays and Sundays to have some peace from his high strung nagging wife.
    Dad told me to never be like her.
  • well he said it in eloquent words, but it still sounds like you were a nice girl, but a big for me....and now you've change yourself......and i like it.....just in more words that aren't as hateful as they could've been.....just saying....we were asking for opinions on what he said....
    The Future Mrs. Kawana Young
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