Alcohol at the reception?

beecjena08 · August 2010

So I just wanted to hear opinions on this. I am planning not to have alcohol at my reception. The reason being I just don't want to have to deal with drunk poeple and I don't want to pay the extra. However my FI thinks that we should.

fpaemp2011 · August 2010

We've had a few discussions about this already...here's the links:
BAR: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_bar
To drink, or not to drink?: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_drink-not-drink

beecjena08 · August 2010

Thank you very helpful.

kkidd28 · August 2010

We're not having alcohol at the reception cause my father refused to be apart of it - long story. But as far as cost - it depends on the venue - it was only a $5 difference per person at my Hilton.

aggiebug · August 2010

oh for sure there will be alcohol. I am not gunna lie, its going to be a little weird between my family (big drinkers) to his (rarely if ever) but I would not not have alcohol for my friends and family to enjoy. That being said we are putting probably 2 bottle of wine on each table, and they can pay for whatever else they want to drink that night so there are ways to make alcohol not so expensive.

nationalvixen · August 2010

Well neither my Fi and I drink at all, other then the very occasional glass of wine on occasions.

We are not having a true reception but rather have rented a restaurant for only family and the bridal party afterwards. We are covering the cost of the meals and venue but if the guests want wine (only alcohol offered) they will have to buy their own glasses or bottles.

I know that my Father and Step Mother will die without their Wine IV drip (haha) but the rest of my family will be fine. We arent having dancing and all that anyways.

SuMmErKuTiE · August 2010

If your FI wants it then you should have it. I've never understood why you wouldn't serve alcohol at a wedding. Even in the Bible Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding he was at. I grew up in a Christian home and have attended many Christian weddings, and they have all had open bar and I've never seen the bride and groom "dealing with drunk people". We had open bar at our wedding, and no one was out of control or visibly drunk. Our guests had a great time and so did we, and I can't imagine ever hosting something and not providing my guests with good food and drinks. I'm not a huge drinker at all, but I'd be pretty bummed if I attended a wedding where alcohol was not served at all. Some of my friends have attended weddings like this and they said people left early to go to a bar.

aricherry · August 2010

Yes this has been discussed a million times on here, which is good that there are still people out here who care enough to second guess this "tradition" of serving drinks. Anywho, thats a BIG NEGATIVE for me. My parents would kill me if I served drinks. I am thinking about having mimosas if I can get them past my parents. If not, then we will be having soda and juices. My husband is the one who thinks that serving drinks is okay but I am not so sure. @ Kkid what happened? I am thinking that if I serve alcohol my parents will refuse to be there also.

SuMmErKuTiE · August 2010

I find it ridiculous that anyone's parents would refuse to attend their own child's wedding just because there is alcohol present. I can't even imagine my parents or anyone else's parents acting that way. That's selfish on their part, it is your wedding and if you choose to be a good host then they should be there to celebrate your marriage and be supportive. No one will be forcing them to have a drink, I don't even know if my dad had a drink at my wedding, or some of his friends from church nor did they care that there was alcohol there. If they didn't want it, they just didn't have any. I can't believe there are actually people out there like this. I don't mean to come off snarky, that just really struck a nerve. My heart actually breaks for someone who's parents would refuse to attend their wedding just because there may be alcohol served to the guests and they're too extreme and close minded.

aricherry · August 2010

SUMMER--- I do not know if you are talking to me or the other girl who mentioned this issue, but I said my parents probably would not come, not that they would not. I do not know. I have not asked them. My parents are very esteemed in our community as well as in our church, and they nor many of their church friends believe in drinking.. in anyway. So they have a right to do whatever they want. I understand it, I have accepted my parents along time ago, and I am over it. They are stuck up people who want it their way or no way and I have known this for 26 years so its no big deal to me. Now my little sister (when she gets married) will be another story. She will probably do anything and everything to get under my parent's skin at her wedding, but I am just not that daughter. I got pregnant at 18 wasn't that enough LOL AND YES my mom is both EXTREME and CLOSED MINDED. SUmmer, I actually feel better now. lol

SuMmErKuTiE · August 2010

It wasn't directed at you, it was more just in general. It pains me to think that someone's parents would consider the presence of alcohol more important then their own son or daughter getting married. My parents are both very active in their church, raised me and my brother to be followers of God, and sent us to Christian school and Christian camp eveyr summer where my mom served in mission work. But they still understand that alcohol is ok in moderation, no where in the Bible does it say to completely abstain from consuming alcohol, in fact the Bible actually talks about wine and beer, it just says not to become intoxicated or to appear foolish from it. People who choose not to drink for their own religious or personal reasons is one thing, but to try and enforce it on other people or miss a beautiful once in a lifetime event because it may be present is selfish and uncalled for.

KikoLoveAndi · August 2010

I will not be having alcohol there for three reasons;

1. the recepton site wont allow it (its a church) .
2. Its not a big sit down shin dig. It will be in the middle of the day. So punch and water will do fine for my crowd i think.
3.. My famly has some terrible drunks and i do not want to temp them.

If they want to go out and drink after wards thats fine, even if it means leaving early- if drinking is more importaint to them then being there thats their prioity. But its not a matter of forcing my opinons on anyone. I myself like to drink. But not only do i not want to break the rules of the venu i dont want to put temptation in peoples way.

Sorry if I came off as harsh- :-(

TimsGirl10 · August 2010

My parents are ones who would attend the wedding but not the reception if I served alcohol. My mom has issues with alcohol- my father was an abusive alcoholic, and shortly before she left him, in an alcohol induced rage, he literally beat my mom within an inch of her life. The drs were surprised she recovered. So, yeah- you don't always know why people have such strong aversions to alcohol- but I know I honor my parents MORE than the few people in my life who would feel the necessity of alcohol to make it a good time.

aricherry · August 2010

Tim's girl.. I totally agree. My parents probably have different reasons then yours but yes they would probably skip the reception (thats what I actually meant) if we had alcohol, and I respect that so its no biggie for me because I know my parents and I accept them.

Tauner23 · August 2010

This was a big issue for us when we started planning. My fiance and I were in total agreement that we didn't want alcohol at the wedding. We don't drink and we didn't want to have to deal with people getting drunk, etc at the reception. My family didn't agree at first. I live in Louisville, KY but my dad's side of the family lives out in the "sticks" of ky where basically their one and only hobby is drinking. The drink all day everyday pretty much. My mom was worried that our guests would be dissapointed, but our argument was that if they can't have a good time without drinking for a few hours that's their problem and not ours. So it was a big issue at first but we put our foot down and now my family is ok with it and actually thinks it is a good idea now. It also helps that we are having the reception at a christian school gym so alcohol is not allowed on the property anyways.

Rhoyal_1 · August 2010

@kkid28- We are also using the Hilton..which locastion are you? FI and I also found reducing or removing the open bar did not reduce the price per person that much.

Alcohol at the reception?

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