A lack of bridesmaids and a burden!

ashamaly345 · May 2011

My fiance and I have been engaged almost 3 months now and I have really started to think about who I would like to be my bridesmaids. Although our wedding is not until March 2013, I still can't help to think on who I would want to share my wedding day with me. I am in a predicament. I have never really had very close girlfriends throughout my whole life due to I just get along with the guys better, unlike my fiance, who has a handful of extremely close friends. As we were talking out our bridal parties, he mentioned how he may have up to 5 groomsmen! I felt embarrassed as I only have two bridesmaids (1. My sister (moh) who I don't even want to choose to be my MOH because she is very rude and jealous 2. my fiance's brother's gf). I don't have any other close gf's to choose as my bridesmaids and our wedding will only be about 50-60 people. I just need someone to tell me they are going through the same thing. Will it look weird with me only have 2 bridesmaids while my fiance has 5 or 6? I feel ashamed not having more friends and this weighs on my mind everyday of our engagement. I kind of like having only 2 girls, because I feel on my wedding day it will be more intimate and relaxing just having us 3 girls, with my mom, and his mom. Any other brides in the same situation as me? And is it ok for my fiance to have a million groomsmen while I only have 2??!I would never ask my fiance to shorten his groomsmen list just because of me and I don't want to ask girls that I don't really talk to be in my bridal party! Help!

MeaganR12 · May 2011

I went through something similar.

I have girl friends, I just wanted to choose girls I was very close to, 2 in particular. My FI would have 10 GM if he could! It made me sad when we first talked about our WP and I felt like I was a loser for not wanting more BMs. It took some time but I can finally agree that sides do not have to be even! I decided on my BFF, my sister, and my 2 FSILs while my FI will have more than that. I'm happy with it because I know it's what makes us happy.

mrshellem2012 · May 2011

I am in the same boat, I have one close friend and she lives in KS, im in WA, so i dont even know if she will for sure be here so as of now the only other person i have is my mother, but i dont see why you cant ask your fiance to have an equal amount, or have some of his party walk to your side to even it out.... either way they are there for support (for the both of you) Good luck, and dont be embaressed theres nothing wrong with being the loaner : )

j_jaye · May 2011

You have ages yet until your wedding. I would put the BM debate out of your mind for now and would wait until closer to your wedding date to make any decisions about who you want in your bridal party.
You also do not have to have just females....you can have a bridesman as well. Do you have any males friends that you are close with?
Also a year and ten months is a long time.....you could meet and make some really good friends within that time.
I agree that you should not have anyone you don't like or feel close with in your wedding party so whent he time comes just choose those people who you want to stand up with you and if the number sare uneven well that is ok too. If you do only go with the 2 BM's then they can just be escorted down the aisle by 2 GM's each or 2 GM's for BM1 and 3 GM's for BM2.
Good luck

dragonwagon · May 2011

It's way too soon to start thinking too much about that. So many things could happen between now and then. You may meet your best friend or an entire group of friends before then.

Also, it doesn't matter if sides are even or not.

Good luck!

ashamaly345 · May 2011

Thanks for the advice girls! I am just one of those people that is always worrying about something, even if it is far away. I could end up meeting someone who could end up being a best friend and become another bridesmaid. I guess I am just thinking, "what if" I don't? You have helped ease my mind and I am sure it will be all fine! I just want eveything to work out!

monitoo · May 2011

I have only the MOH and the BM, one on each side. I don't have a lot of friends and neither does my FI, so we're only having one person stand beside us. I didn't want to have anyone I haven't talked seen in a year, and now my MOH, I wish she wasn't in it, but it's too late (read my post, "Worst MOH Ever!"). I'm getting married in 5 days. I would ask my FI to narrow down his GM to accommodate my feelings and lack of BM's. You have to compromise, that's what marriage is about. But as suggested above, you have a long time to worry about that, you will meet someone, especially since you know you're looking for someone to fill that void. Also, you could do the two GM to one BM. It's your wedding, you make the rules. I'm glad mine isn't traditional, I hate "ordinary".

arbolita · May 2011

Our sides were uneven (I had 6, he had 3), but I agree with the person who said it's a bit early to decide this, especially if you don't have any strong feelings about any of the girls you've already decided on.

hmonkey · May 2011

march 2013? come back in late fall of 2012, when you should be making this decision.

A lack of bridesmaids and a burden!

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