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Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)

Rose72112Rose72112 member
First Comment
in Snarky Brides
I'm having my wedding out of the country in July, and a reception when we get back in August.

Thanks to some crappy advice I got on here, I didn't send out save the date cards for the reception.  Now, people that are invited to the reception are pissed, because most of the people who are coming are from out-of-state, and the hotel I'm having it at is almost totally booked already (the reception is in august!)

Is it too late to send out save the dates?(If I get them done now, they'll probably just get to guests a couple weeks before the invitation.) I was just going to send out invitations in June before we leave for our wedding.

Anyway. I'm pissed. Just thought I'd share.

Also, I'll just ignore etiquette, and go with my instincts next time I have a quesiton. 

UGH!
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Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)

  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2012
    Sending or not sending Save the Dates has little to do with etiquette - it's who receives them that matters.

    I'm sorry this happened.  Invitations for events like this go out 6 - 8 weeks beforehand.  For our June AHR, we sent out invitations in the first week of May.  Sit tight for another week and a half and just send invitations at this point.

    EDIT: Ha.  I'm an idiot.  Your party is in August, not June.  Sorry!  I'd let people know by word of mouth what's going on with your event.  You could also send cards, like, tomorrow, if you really wanted to.

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  • brilibby4brilibby4 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:645aa11e-1ac8-4c73-ab20-616ba9ee7b53">Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm having my wedding out of the country in July, and a reception when we get back in August. Thanks to some crappy advice I got on here, I didn't send out save the date cards for the reception.  Now, people that are invited to the reception are pissed, because most of the people who are coming are from out-of-state, and the hotel I'm having it at is almost totally booked already (the reception is in august!) Is it too late to send out save the dates?(If I get them done now, they'll probably just get to guests a couple weeks before the invitation.) I was just going to send out invitations in June before we leave for our wedding. Anyway. I'm pissed. Just thought I'd share.<strong> Also, I'll just ignore etiquette, and go with my instincts next time I have a quesiton.  UGH!</strong>
    Posted by Rose72112[/QUOTE]

    Then why are you asking us another question?
    image
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  • brandichamberlainbrandichamberlain
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:645aa11e-1ac8-4c73-ab20-616ba9ee7b53">Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm having my wedding out of the country in July, and a reception when we get back in August. Thanks to some crappy advice I got on here, I didn't send out save the date cards for the reception.  Now, people that are invited to the reception are pissed, because most of the people who are coming are from out-of-state, <strong>and the hotel I'm having it at is almost totally booked already </strong>(the reception is in august!) Is it too late to send out save the dates?(If I get them done now, they'll probably just get to guests a couple weeks before the invitation.) I was just going to send out invitations in June before we leave for our wedding. Anyway. I'm pissed. Just thought I'd share. Also, I'll just ignore etiquette, and go with my instincts next time I have a quesiton.  UGH!
    Posted by Rose72112[/QUOTE]

    <div>Are there no other hotels in your area?</div>
    imageVacation
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  • Rose72112Rose72112 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:f92ff960-04ae-4da6-b0a1-cf3b65a407bf">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!) : Then why are you asking us another question?
    Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm really just venting at this point. I already know it's kinda late to send everything out.</div>
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Well, people telling you not to send STDs isn't exactly bad advice, and it has nothing to do with etiquette, but regardless, I think you're ok.

    Are there other hotels in the area?  Can you block some rooms?  At this point, what I would do is send out an email to people that you know for sure will be invited and let them know that rooms are booking up fast.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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  • Rose72112Rose72112 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:b6b440e5-1862-40ce-9b3a-8abd01f48c60">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sending or not sending Save the Dates has little to do with etiquette - it's who receives them that matters. I'm sorry this happened.  Invitations for events like this go out 6 - 8 weeks beforehand.  For our June AHR, we sent out invitations in the first week of May.  Sit tight for another week and a half and just send invitations at this point. EDIT: Ha.  I'm an idiot.  Your party is in August, not June.  Sorry!  I'd let people know by word of mouth what's going on with your event.  You could also send cards, like, tomorrow, if you really wanted to.
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    <div>It's all by word of mouth by now. (that's how I know people are upset. :/ ) </div><div>I'm thinking of just sending e-mail save the dates....right now.</div>
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  • Rose72112Rose72112 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:53e1ebdb-6f07-4bcf-866c-a1ed35daa3d1">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!) : Are there no other hotels in your area?
    Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

    <div>There is one other hotel, and two or three very small inns, but I've checked around, and it seems like they're already on the full side, too.</div>
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:41753410-646c-4d64-a697-11a60d299958">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!) : There is one other hotel, and two or three very small inns, but I've checked around, and it seems like they're already on the full side, too.
    Posted by Rose72112[/QUOTE]

    To be completely honest, you probably would have run into this problem even if you had sent STDs.  Hotel rooms are usually one of the last things I do, unless I'm specificially told to book early. 

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2012
    Whether you sent out save the dates or not, you should have reserved a block of rooms for your guests or found some at another hotel. That was one of the first things I did when I was planning my wedding. Then you find out the date they need to book by and communicate to your guests as such. Its no ones fault that you didnt have the sense to do that to begin with.
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Yeah, do you have a hotel block? Can you get one?
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Also, I dont know why people just blindly follow the advice of strangers on the internet if they dont feel it is correct or properly applies to their situation. Does no one have common sense anymore or the ability to figure things out for themselves?!
    Report Reply
  • Rose72112Rose72112 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:0425d9dd-1f81-4166-a968-f8c90b2b9dd8">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Whether you sent out save the dates or not, you should have reserved a block of rooms for your guests or found some at another hotel. That was one of the first things I did when I was planning my wedding. Then you find out the date they need to book by and communicate to your guests as such. Its no ones fault that you didnt have the sense to do that to begin with.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>That was also one of the first things I did. 15 rooms were reserved automatically when we booked our reception, but I didn't expect them to fill up so quickly. The event planner told me I could block off more rooms if I needed to, but when I called back, she told me that there were only a few rooms left. </div><div>So I checked around the area, and tried to let everyone know that rooms were filling up quickly, and where else they could book.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I guess I'm confused. What was the origional advice you got? Not to send out save the dates?
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    lol seriously? you only blocked off 15 rooms for your guests and didnt stay on top of that? How many people are even invited to your wedding? If you say more than 15 then its your own fault for not properly planning for this.
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  • Rose72112Rose72112 member
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:a8417569-7155-4708-961d-b0ec6cf02994">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, I dont know why people just blindly follow the advice of strangers on the internet if they dont feel it is correct or properly applies to their situation. Does no one have common sense anymore or the ability to figure things out for themselves?!
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    <div>I just started with that advice, then I asked around. It was the only thing I asked about on one of these boards.</div>
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Here is the advice you got: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_std-wording-reception They told you how to word it so I'm not sure how not sending them is their fault?
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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  • Rose72112Rose72112 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:902d7042-c7bb-49ef-ba59-ccb573dede15">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]lol seriously? you only blocked off 15 rooms for your guests and didnt stay on top of that? How many people are even invited to your wedding? If you say more than 15 then its your own fault for not properly planning for this.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Yeah. 17 families, three who live very close to the site. </div><div>
    </div><div>I'm just here to vent. Is that's what snarky brides is for?</div><div>
    </div>
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  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:1966ab9b-09fa-40f5-bc65-91db64209aa9">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!) : Yeah. 17 families, three who live very close to the site.  <strong>I'm just here to vent. Is that's what snarky brides is for?</strong>
    Posted by Rose72112[/QUOTE]
    No, its not. This is obviously your own fault, so ranting about how you got bad advice, when you really didnt get any advice what so ever regarding this matter, just makes you look like a whining idiot.
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:1966ab9b-09fa-40f5-bc65-91db64209aa9">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!) : Yeah. 17 families, three who live very close to the site.  I'm just here to vent. Is that's what snarky brides is for?
    Posted by Rose72112[/QUOTE]


    That doesn't seem like a huge deal. That means, at most, 14 families will need to book a room and you have 15 blocked. I'm sure not all of the families will want two rooms.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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  • Rose72112Rose72112 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:16ab8b7a-bbf6-41a3-b011-45a4785766f9">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here is the advice you got: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_std-wording-reception">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_std-wording-reception</a> They told you how to word it so I'm not sure how not sending them is their fault?
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    <div>It was the second person who posted. And I started doubting my own ideas, thinking that people here would know better than I do, since I've never actually had a wedding before. Then I asked my own mother, and my future mother in law, and a couple of other people, and they seemed to think it made sense that it wasn't really a "wedding reception," if it took place a month after the wedding. They didn't seem to think it was as formal as a normal wedding reception(right after the wedding). </div><div>
    </div><div>I'm not saying that it's totally their fault. It just started with that one comment, and the avalanche of doubt worked itself from there.  </div><div>
    </div><div>So I didn't send out save the dates. </div><div>I'll be sending e-mail save the dates later today.</div><div>Still probably won't fix the problem, but I'll be including a note that says to book asap, because they're running low on rooms. (Even though most families already know that by now.)</div><div>
    </div><div>I guess it wouldn't be a real wedding if *something* didn't go wrong, right?</div>
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    So...one person gave you wording, and one person told you not to do it, so you tossed a coin, went with the 50% that said not to, and now you're blaming it all on that person?

    Logical, you are.

    Look, I get your frustration.  I waited a little too long to block rooms too, and freaked out because I had a hard time getting blocks.  I wanted someone to blame it on, but in the end, I was the one to blame.  So I busted my ass to find places to block rooms, figured it out, and there weren't any problems. 

    Cliff notes:  Stop blaming other people so you can get to problem solving.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_some-bad-advice-im-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a60386eb-0bf1-413d-8156-cc7ac2718a7ePost:d0dd7b52-4363-42ee-9f19-dff89f489749">Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some bad advice! (I'm pissed!) : It was the second person who posted. And I started doubting my own ideas, thinking that people here would know better than I do, since I've never actually had a wedding before. Then I asked my own mother, and my future mother in law, and a couple of other people, and they seemed to think it made sense that it wasn't really a "wedding reception," if it took place a month after the wedding. They didn't seem to think it was as formal as a normal wedding reception(right after the wedding).  I'm not saying that it's totally their fault. It just started with that one comment, and the avalanche of doubt worked itself from there.   So I didn't send out save the dates.  I'll be sending e-mail save the dates later today. Still probably won't fix the problem,<strong> but I'll be including a note that says to book asap, because they're running low on rooms</strong>. (Even though most families already know that by now.) I guess it wouldn't be a real wedding if *something* didn't go wrong, right?
    Posted by Rose72112[/QUOTE]
    I don't understand.  If you're inviting 17 families, and have 15 rooms blocked, why are they running low on rooms?  And are you actively trying to block more rooms at this or one of the other hotels?



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  • flower_divaflower_diva member
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    save te date cards had nothing to do with the predicament you are facing.......15 rooms for a recpetion with all out of town guest is to low.....YOU should ave blocked probably 3 times that many rooms.  Hotels will hold them usually until a set time before the wedding ten If your invites go out on time it should be no problem........JMO
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  • futuremrsbrunofuturemrsbruno member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    If you knew you were inviting a specific amount of people from out of town, than it ultimately was your responsibility to figure out where to put them when they got here. You should have blocked as many rooms as there were people on the out of town list. Hotels charge you nothing to block rooms, and there is no penalty for not booking all of them. The fee per room may change, but you wouldn't have to be responsible for a room you don't need.

    Save the Dates also have zero to do with this. Save the Dates only tell people to do just that, mark the date for your wedding. They generally don't include hotel information or tell people to get a hotel room, that's what a wedding website, email, or word of mouth is for.

    I get you are venting, but I think you are wrong in blaming others for misguiding you when ultimately you were the one who should have planned this out in the first place.

    If there are no places to stay in the area, I would suggest you get on the phone and see if anyone you know would be willing to play host to the guests for their stay. I would also make every accomodation so this works out for both parties. There is nothing wrong with asking family, or close friends to help out with something like this, especially if they know the guests who are coming, but at this point it seems like one of your only options. I'd also offer to buy extra groceries, help clean before their arrival and help whoever decides to let them stay with whatever they need.
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