Moms and Maids

Adding another BM... help?

So I have a friend in high school that I have been in and out of contact with for a while. She had her daughter young, got married to a different guy quickly and had another kid. She kind of shut herself off from everyone after a while, including her family because her husband was insecure and craved all her attention. They have gotten better and she's been coming around more often and I was thinking of adding her to my WP. I know it would mean a lot to her to be included. FI has another friend he can ask to join us also. We didn't ask him originally because he was on parole and wasn't allowed to leave the state. Now that that is done, he can go to the wedding. 

It's 8 months from now, so that gives her plenty of time to get the dress and everything. Should I ask her? We aren't planning on doing any readings other than one by the minister or anything so I wouldn't know if there would be anything else for her to do. If I were to ask her, what should I tell my other BMs, who I've had selected for nearly a year?

(PS. I know that the sides don't have to be even, but I like thinge symmetrical)
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Re: Adding another BM... help?

  • nlindsay17nlindsay17 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't add anyone if you've asked the others a year ago. She may feel like she's just an ad on. Being invited to the wedding is also an honor.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP.  If you had just started asking people it would be different.  It would be like she's a B-list BM, an afterthought.  If your FI wants to ask that person that is now of parole he can, that is a valid reason to wait to ask someone.  Sides don't have to be even.  
  • kaitlyn&henrykaitlyn&henry member
    edited December 2011
    Do not ask her just to make her feel closer to you or to rekindle a friendship. BMs are those nearest and dearest and while she may have been a few years ago, she doesnt sound like shes that close with you...yet. Its really not our call though since you know your relationships better.

    Just be sure about it so you dont regret anything down the road. Your FI does not need to ask anyone extra either because sides do not have to be even....beleive me no one will even notice! i had 7 BMs my FI had 5 GM.
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