Addressing Question

rugbybride2 · March 2010

I plan on sending out my STD's this May, since our wedding is memorial day weekend and is out of town for all the guests except my FI's parents. So, I know that for invites I need to send and invite to a set of parents and a separate invite to an adult child living at home( aka my college age cousins). But does this rule apply for STD's?

FMIL was saying that she got 3 STD magnets from another couple that got married and it was really unnecessary. So, should I send one per household and just address it to those in the household that are invited? (Another ex. My cousin and her husband live with her elderly aunt and have five children. Do I send one and adress it to only the adults in the household?)

Sorry, there are so many rules and I just don't want to offend anyone with the very first thing I send out!

mrsamyjones · March 2010

You don't send out STDs a year in advance. No No.

TheSaltyPeanut · March 2010

I would just use your judgment... I agree, 3 magnets to a house is overkill!

FWIW - I personally love save the dates and yes, I like them up to a year in advance... especially over a holiday weekend. H has off only 1 weekend a month and sometimes vacation picks are a year out.

rugbybride2 · March 2010

I read in two etiquette books that STD's for weddings on holiday weekends or out of town weddings for the majority of the guests should be sent one year in advance.

mwhitson14 · March 2010

Up to a year in advance is perfectly fine for STDs, especially on holiday weekends. I would cut it to 8, just because that's still plenty of time, but if 1 year is your preference, have at it. Just remember, EVERYONE that gets an STD HAS to get an invite. So, if you're super comfortable that your guest list is not going to change, (and ours did, from our Oct date to our March date), then do the year in advance.

To answer your actual question, I didn't follow that rule for STDs. But, we also invited kids, so if I sent an invite where there were several living there, it was just easier to put The SoSo Family. You might need to do seperate invites if you're not doing kids, so you can be very specific.

TheSaltyPeanut · March 2010

You are correct

We got married over Labor Day weekend and we sent our STDs a year out.

ETA - Good point Whit!

Amaryllis619 · March 2010

I only sent out STDs to people I was 110% sure were getting an invite. Everyone else, I didn't send one to, so I was able to make decisions based on the guest list as it got closer to the wedding. like pp said STD= invite so just be sure who you are sending them to.

Also, as far as multiple STD to a household, I just sent one for the house with specific names on it. You can always expand to include everyone, but you can't restrict it later on if you find you need to.. just a thought.

rugbybride2 · March 2010

whit- I really just plan on sending them to family. FI and I have family all over the country and need to get the word out. I won't make the mistake of sending one to the flaky girl that works with me who will probably get fired in a few months, ha.

Jetski- I like the idea of one STD per househols but with specified names on the envelope. Thanks

mwhitson14 · March 2010

Just making sure

STDs can get really tricky, and like 75% of the time, they're not at all necessary (like in my case! Lol).

mrsamyjones · March 2010

Q. When do you send them?
As a general rule, it's best to start spreading the news at around six months prior to the ceremony (eight months for a faraway destination). This gives wedding guests plenty of time to book their travel, save a bit of cash, and ask for days off from work. Any earlier, and they may toss the notice aside. Any later, and it might as well be an invitation.

Just saying, sending them that early people tend to "misplace" (throw away) or totally forget about them. When it's closer like the 6-8 month mark I have found more people will actually take notice.

mwhitson14 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5af908ea-0ed0-4be5-a1a9-e077bba57910Post:0cfbf75a-d551-4d26-9913-e39a134f14a6">Re: Addressing Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Q. When do you send them? As a general rule, it's best to start spreading the news at around six months prior to the ceremony (eight months for a faraway destination). This gives wedding guests plenty of time to book their travel, save a bit of cash, and ask for days off from work. Any earlier, and they may toss the notice aside. Any later, and it might as well be an invitation. Just saying, sending them that early people tend to "misplace" (throw away) or totally forget about them. When it's closer like the 6-8 month mark I have found more people will actually take notice.
Posted by mrsamyjones[/QUOTE]

Which is why I suggested the 8 month mark. But it's not a total no-no to send them a year out.

mrsamyjones · March 2010

Ok it's not a "No.No." But it's still better to wait IMO.

rugbybride2 · March 2010

I know that some of my family members go to our condos in Florida that weekend and want to let them know before they book out the next years ones. Also, they are magnets. Who wouldn't want to look at me and FI everyday for a year? jk

squirrly · March 2010

Up to a year is fine. I sent ours the same way I sent our invites, so one per person/couple if there were adult children living at home, but I think it's ok to send one magnet per fridge as well.

quotequeen · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5af908ea-0ed0-4be5-a1a9-e077bba57910Post:8f9b2abd-8cc0-49fa-889c-799a12402949">Re: Addressing Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I know that some of my family members go to our condos in Florida that weekend and want to let them know before they book out the next years ones. Also, they are magnets. Who wouldn't want to look at me and FI everyday for a year? jk
Posted by rugbybride2[/QUOTE]

You could also just tell the family members that you're particularly concerned about what the date is personally. A save-the-date is not required to do this.

cukimerrydoll · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5af908ea-0ed0-4be5-a1a9-e077bba57910Post:bb1ba563-81dc-419c-9f3b-c7bf7fea25ae">Re: Addressing Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah just send one per household. I also would appreciate it if someone sends me an STD 8-12 months prior if the wedding falls on a major holiday.
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]
That's how I see it!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

I was going to do one per household, but FI wanted his parents to get one and each of his sisters, who all live in the same house. But we just sent postcards (actually, we're mailing them today). So it isn't like having 3 magnets.

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