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friday fun question

Getting2VowelsGetting2Vowels member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
in July 2013 Weddings
Hi ladies.. I was wondering how many of us are throwing our own bridal showers. One of my bridesmaids from nj said they're supposed to be a surprise, but everyone I've polled said you should be part of the planning, buying gufts, etc.. I've been to 3 showers ever, 2 were a surprise (in NJ) and 1 wasn't (here in PA).
I've never had a surprise anything in my life so I think its my turn to be selfish and say It'd be a nice to have.
I'm starting to wonder if it's just a difference in state/ area .... what are you ladies doing??
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Re: friday fun question

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    Knottie1450123632Knottie1450123632 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    i dont like surprises.  so id rather help plan or at least give a list of who i want there.  i dont think im having a shower. 
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    Gabrielle76Gabrielle76
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    I'm not going to have a shower.  The wedding guests are pretty spread out, so it would be tough to get everyone together.  Additionally, I'm a college student, and so are most of my friends. We couldn't afford brand name dish soap, let alone a lot of extras.  Knowing that, I would feel rude having a shower, because, ya know, they already get you a wedding gift! If I were five years older, I would probably have one, but I think that will be something I have to pass up. 
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    CKSillyPantsCKSillyPants member
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    I'm not even sure if I am having a bridal shower. We live in a different state from all our friends and family. It wouldn't be that far of a drive (two hours,) but it's not one we can afford to take most of the time.

    I'm not planning anything. If I get a surprise party I will be extremely excited and thankful.
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    emineminememineminem
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    I'm not having one either... we're having an engagement dinner with our close families next month, and then i'm definitely having a bachelorette / and a bachelor party for him... but I'm in your boat, Gabrielle, it wouldn't be appropriate to throw myself a shower in my social circle.

    That being said, ettiquete board would insist you never throw your own shower... I say it's up to you! If you have something perfect in mind, go for it.
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    AmJam04AmJam04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I'm pretty sure etiquette-wise, you're not supposed to throw your own shower... it's a party that's thrown in your honor with "expectation" of receiving gifts. So, if you throw your own, it seems kind of gift grabby.

    But with that said, I don't think it's a big deal if you take a minor role in helping plan it.
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    Getting2VowelsGetting2Vowels member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited June 2012
    I do plan on being part of it sonewhat. I only have 2 attendants so in no way am I expecting anything large. I do know however that my bridesmaid does want to do "something"...I'd be thankful and grateful for anything.
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    Beads921Beads921 member
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    I have no idea if I'll be having a shower or not. it's still too far away to know!

    I'd definitely prefer it not be a surprise, but I didn't think the bride was usually part of the planning process (beyond maybe providing a guest list) either. 
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    WildMageletWildMagelet member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Etiquette-wise throwing your own party/shower is a no-no, because it seems gift grabby.  If someone was going to throw one for me/us though, I'd want to have a say in the guest list (because people invited to pre-wedding parties are supposed to be invited to the wedding as well).  I would be willing to put in input if asked, but I wouldn't expect to do a major part of the planning myself (defeats the purpose of someone throwing the party for you!)
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    keyaira04keyaira04 member
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    edited June 2012
    Well, the truth is I did not know until joining TK that you are not suppose to plan the shower. At one point, I was planning, budgeting, and paying for it, as I thought it was my role. I just assigned a MOH to help. A few months later and a little TK wiser, I know now that I am not suppose to plan it. I had no idea it was a gift to the bride! However, having much of the pre-planning done already, my Matron OH is hosting it and has adopted much of what I planned. Now, I am just helping with getting her the guest list, etc.  She has taken over the costs and will start officially planning in Jan. 
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