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" So It's not that big of a deal...

trishaselbytrishaselby
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in Washington-Seattle
that I miss your bachelorette, is it?" That is the phone call I just got from one of my bridesmaid's. Then I say well are you going to be there for my shower on Sunday (a day apart0. "Well I guess I wouldn't be there for that either." WTF? Then why are you in my wedding if it's such a big hassle. I am so mad. Another BM can't make it- she'll be OOT but we knew that and another one is leaving early that night.

I feel like such an OBLIGATION!!! I hate feeling this way!!!

And those 50 guest need to RSVP before I have to call them. This is so irratating. Too stressful- I'm not sure inviting and dealing with all these people are worth it. I never thought I'd say that:(

Vent over. Thanks for listening!
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Re: " So It's not that big of a deal...

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    amandaswamandasw member
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    edited December 2011
    aww, sorry about that.  why can't she be there?  just remember that the wedding day is the most important part of all the festivities :)
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    mgoss228mgoss228 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry you have to deal with all that extra stress!  Your BM probably doesn't realize how rude she is being or how much her presence would mean to you, but as long as she is there for the wedding that is all that really matters.

    You should delegate others to harass those 50 people to RSVP.

    Once you've had a few drinks in you at your Bachelorette, you'll forget all about the drama!
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    TygirljojoTygirljojo
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    edited December 2011
    *hugs* I'm sorry.  Your BM is an idiot.  I can understand not being able to be at either if she's an OOT BM, and if she's local then not being able to attend one, but not being able to attend both does reflect badly on her.

    As for guests that don't RSVP, this is a big pet peeve of mine and I totally understand the frustration.  Unfortunately you'll have to call and be polite about it.
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    angstocker22angstocker22
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    edited December 2011
    Uh! That is stressful! Does she not get it?
    Why can't she make it??
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    jennlinjennlin member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    is she OOT? if she is...i can forgive her...if not--then..well....what's her excuse??!
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    trishaselbytrishaselby
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    edited December 2011
    No not OOT at all! She wants to go to Chelan. Her family has a campground they go to every summer and they just changed when they are going and she doesn't want to drive back and forth:( Hopefully, she'll come around and realize what she asked me.

    I'm just having a horrible week. I started some medication for my acne and it got 100 times worse- it's all over my arms, ect and I have my first shower this weekend. I am so upset. I was planning on wearing a cute sundress. I stopped the medication and am hoping it calms down. I have no idea what to do, I don't want to be hiding the whole time at my own shower:(
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    amandaswamandasw member
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    edited December 2011
    which acne medication?  One time I took antibiotics and the Dr said it would help my acne and it just made it worse.  If you're at the point of trying meds, ask your Dr about spironolactone!
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    jennyann28jennyann28
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    LAME.  She should at least try to make it to one of those, for crying out loud...
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    trishaselbytrishaselby
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    amandasw- It is an antibiotoic called minocycline. That is crazy. Do you know how long after you stopped taking it that it was better? Any advice at this point would be great? Thanks
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    amandaswamandasw member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    well, I was taking it because they thought I had an infection (long story short, turned out the coughing was allergies... weird), so I didn't stop until I'd finished what I was supposed to and then we figured out the actual problem.  I don't think it took too long though after I stopped to get back to 'normal' which wasn't very good to begin with. 

    I now take spironolactone which has been great, esp for my back.  The dermatologist said it's really well tolerated by women.  Also, I use Laura Mercier face wash - expensive, but has really been amazing and I've only been using it for maybe a month now.  I use the face polish in the morning (I realized that for my skin I really need a gentle exfolient every day to clean out my pores because I get those little bumps) and the one-step cleanser (make-up remover, cleanser and toner) in the evening (I realized I wasn't really doing a good job getting make-up all the way off before).  I've struggled a lot to get my skin clear without going to the extreme stuff because I don't have cystic acne - just annoying stuff.  Good luck with everything!
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    fancynewbeccafancynewbecca
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    edited December 2011
    Boo! Negatory party poopers! It WILL all be worth it :o) Deep breaths!
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    KahalagurlKahalagurl
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    that is really lame... but like PP said, the wedding is the most important.  And argh, about medication reactions.  Ive had a few funny ones myself and the stress that follows does not help out one bit.... *hugs*
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    kinmir30kinmir30
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I took minocylcine for a few months when i was 17 and it put me into the hospital for seven days! Be careful. If you start to get migraines while taking it, STOP!!!! It can cause a "fake" brain tumor. It gives your body sypmtoms of a brain tumor, you just dont really have one. So just beware.
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    trishaselbytrishaselby
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow kinmir! That is bad! I am so sorry. I did stop! That stuff is bad!
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    irshis20irshis20 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I know you won't want to hear this, but your bridesmaids don't *have* to attend your bachelorette party, shower or any other pre-wedding parties. Of course it's nice if they can, but it's not part of their role in being a bridesmaid. Only one of my bridesmaids is in town, so four of my bridesmaids will miss my shower. We decided to have the bachelorette party the Thursday before the wedding because I wanted to make it easier for my bridesmaids to come, and I knew that asking them to come into town a day early for the wedding would make it easier than coming in for a different weekend. But I know at least one of them still won't be able to come.

    As for the shower RSVPs, you shouldn't be handling that at all. That is, if you're not hosting the shower, which I assume you're not? The hostess should handle that.

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