Time gap between ceremony and reception?

ipwtfa91 · January 2010

We don't want to get married earlier than noon, and we want an outdoor ceremony (in the daylight)...but I've always pictured a reception that goes into the evening. Another thing is that we are planning a huge dessert reception with a few finger foods like cracker/cheese/meat plate, veggie trays, mini sandwiches, and fruit so no one vomits from all the sugar.

So would it be weird if we had the ceremony at 3 or 4 and didn't schedule the reception until 7? I'm sure most of the families would end up going out to dinner together anyway, but my fiance and I just don't have the money to pay for everyone's dinner (we will be having 200+ guests and are paying for school and saving for a house so...the extra money is just not there).

I really don't want to put anyone out or force them into paying for their own dinner...so does anyone have an alternate suggestion?

kikipania · January 2010

So in essences you would get everything you wanted... an afternoon wedding, a nighttime reception, and a way out of paying for your guests dinners.

As a guest, I wouldn't bother going, especially if I was an out of town guest.

My advice... cut down the guest list to guests who you really want to attend. You can't afford 200 guests, so you don't have 200 guests. Arrange the ceremony for five, have an hors d'oeurve hour while you're taking pictures at six, then have the reception start at seven.

ipwtfa91 · January 2010

The reason I posted my question was to come up with a solution to NOT come across as rude and to have it set up so it works well for everyone...not for criticism, but thanks for your opinion.

gottahavashorti · January 2010

It's okay not to serve a full meal, but a gap in order to have a daytime ceremony, night reception and avoid paying for dinner in between is not kind to your guests.

For those who are semi-out of town and don't book a hotel room, they will have nowhere to go and it would be a very long day. If FI and I had left at 1pm for a 3pm ceremony and sat around afteward until 7pm for the reception, we would be cranky and probably leaving by nightfall fo the drive home as a result. Without a gap, that would not be an issue.

You could have, say, a 2-2:30pm ceremony, 2:30-3:30 cocktail hour, 3:30-5:30 desert reception. If you live somewhere warm and have a winter wedding, you could get all of the things you want.

Otherwise, compromise on one of your criteria. Or cut the guest list and add more non-dessert food so that you have the equivalent of a full meal and encourage the party to continue into the night.

ipwtfa91 · January 2010

What about a 7 PM ceremony and immediate reception? Is that weird to have the ceremony so late in the day? Because it'll be September, it should still be light out...

banana468 · January 2010

If you're going to do a 7 PM ceremony, still do something that adds up to a full meal. Plenty of people do eat dinners at that time but you don't have to serve a plated meal. You could do something like stations.

But whatever you do, don't create a gap. It's one thing if you're stuck with one (and even then, you need to host stuff in the interim) but to create one is acting quite inappropriately.

laurening · January 2010

I've actually not attended weddings with time gaps because it's such an inconvenience and when I have attended a time gap wedding, my annoyance and crankiness/tiredness of the long day overshadowed the rest of the day. Not a fan. Sorry.

While you want to have a great wedding, the key is to balance your expectations with the comfort and convenience of your guests. I suggest the evening ceremony and reception. If the reception starts at 7:30 or 8PM, you can probably get away with not serving dinner (although many people will rightfully say you should), but definitely provide some sandwich platters and maybe pasta. Make sure that the invitatation clearly states that it's a dessert reception because people's default thinking tends to be dinner.

gottahavashorti · January 2010

Can you push it back to 8pm? In early September, you should still have some light and it is past most people's dinner time. And as PP said, indicate that it is a dessert reception.

MyNameIsNot · January 2010

If you don't want to serve a meal, you can't do it at a meal time. If your ceremony starts at 7, people will still expect to be fed. Even 8 is pushing it IMHO. You could do your ceremony at 8:30 and have a dessert reception after. In September, that would probably be more of a sunset ceremony, depending on location.

As PP suggested, the better option is to have a 5-6 pm ceremony in the daylight, follow it with a reception, and cut your guest list down to what you can afford.

aerinpegadrak · January 2010

Our ceremony is at 7:30pm, so clearly I don't think that's too late. Weddings at sunset or close to it are fairly common. We're having a cocktail and dessert reception immediately following, but we're serving enough food that anyone who doesn't have a chance to grab dinner beforehand shouldn't leave hungry. (Even so, we're putting "cocktail reception" on the invitations.)

You should avoid a gap if at all possible.

duckie1905 · January 2010

Gaps suck. Looks like your solution is to let go of all these things you want as to not be rude to your guests. Push your ceremony back until 6 or 7, have your reception start immediately after, and serve enough food to at least make sure that people don't go hungry.

ipwtfa91 · January 2010

Thank you, ladies. A sunset ceremony sounds beautiful. I will talk to FH and our parents to see if they like the idea.

Time gap between ceremony and reception?

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