40-Plus Brides

First wedding at 40... anyone else?

Ok, techincally I'll be forty in April - but close enough ;-) Sometimes I feel like the guy in the 40 year old virgin movie...
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Re: First wedding at 40... anyone else?

  • Yup!  I'm 43, and getting married for the first time in 5 weeks.  It's definitely a different journey for older brides...I had a limo company at a bridal fair refer to me as the mother-of-the-bride (yikes!), and I never even noticed that I had crow's feet until I started going to all of these makeup trials!  It's even harder to find a comfortable pair of bridal shoes at this age.  But, it's weird - at the the same time, the whole bridal thing makes me feel young again!
    Knottie67056572
  • I just got married at 41, and it was my first. Definitely made me feel ageless! Joy is a wonderful, wonderful thing! But if we'd gotten married a couple years ago, I wouldn't have had the facial lines I have now. Some friend have mentioned "Paula's" line of facial products, but I haven't used them. My MIL uses three cleansing products, and another firend uses her Retinol product. Both swear by them and mentioned them in particular leading up to the wedding, so maybe they were trying to tell me I could get rid of those lines if I wanted. But I skipped it. I went with joy, which was just going to recreate all those lines anyway!

    Enjoy your time, ladies. It's wonderful!! (I wasn't thinking long white dress and veils, but my FI practically teared up when I suggested I might wear a short dress, and the veils were my mom's. Turns out I wouldn't have wanted to be wearing any other outfit!)
    scully931maidofhonor31fhoffman72
  • me too!  I'll be getting married at 43 for the first.  This is my fiance's first time too.
  • First time for me  at 42!   IMO the benefit of getting married at my age is that I can do what I want and avoid all the silly things that I may have done if I had married younger.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    nstreyleoffthemarket915
  • Yep - 1st wedding at 43. 

    Only age-related problem was that the clerk in David's handed me a catalog and told me to go sit on the couch, because she didn't think she had any dresses that were not strapless in the store.

    Turns out that she thought I was the MOTHER of the bride who was PRE-SHOPPING for her daughter.  So there would be no commission to be earned on the day that the MOTHER came in to pre-shop, and therefore the clerk was not interested.

    Other than that, I loved the entire planning process and the wedding and happily ever after.
  • kikirst -- I totally agree with you! I just reviewed my vendors, and there were all these categories that I know younger people would have spent hundreds or thousands on -- limo (we had friends take us to the ceremony and our photographer drove us to the reception, and we walked back to the hotel!), videographer (my dad set up a camera in the corner -- I just wanted to be able to *see* it happen, I didn't want a big expensive production), hair and makeup (I did my own makeup and I aksed the help of a friend whom I knew would be thrilled to do my hair), flowers (bought from Sam's in-store and arranged myself), cake (we got it from sam's -- two half sheet cakes to cover chocolate and vanilla PLUS a cookie cake for my honey all for less than $80), and the list goes on and on. I mean, I LOVE cake -- it doesn't have to be a fancy schmancy cake for me to love it. I love grocery store birthday cake the best. Always have, always will. : )

    We still spent about $10,000 on a single day's events, and I would have loved to have been able to celebrate with our friends and family for less, but I do feel like we made the most of it -- put the money where we needed to, and kept the rest to ourselves. Definitely a benefit of being older. AND there wasn't anyone's pressure we couldn't stand up to. We're full-fledged adults! (We didn't even have any pressure from anyone, because they recognize that -- no parent/family guilt trips, which I see a lot of on the other boards!)
  • I am a young 58, and I got married for the first time last month. It was the most fun, most fulfilling, and most magical time of my life. I had no problem finding the perfect dress, with illusion tank sleeves, and lots of glitter and class. My 2 BM's and my MOH were so happy for me, there was no jealousy or competitiveness like there might have been when I was younger. My bridal shower was really fun, and I chose not to have a bachelorette party. I told everyone that I didn't expect the day
    librarylove46JCSN
  • Here too!  I'm 46 now and recently engaged. We are planning a June 2014 wedding - we figured, why rush at our age! LOL
    JCSNjkenyon69
  • So nice to see this post.  I guess I'm tachnically not 40, but will be in January.  We got enganged last month (first time for both of us), and are putting it together in two months!  We do want to have kids, or at least try, and I figure (according to Harry from When Harry met Sally), we waited a long time to find the "right" one, now that we know, why wait? I realize this arguement can go both ways :).  But regardless, it is so nice to feel very little pressure.  I can do whatever I want and really no one cares or is pressuring me to do anything! His family wanted us to wait until next summer, but they are all coming and very supportive.  I am pretty low mainatenance which helps, but all of these posts with so much drama makes me feel very blessed.  Is anyone doing a small family wedding? I see all these things that say you shouldn't invite anyone to the bachelorette party that isn't invited to the wedding.  But, I am doing family only and a few (3) childhood friends.  I think I'm going to have a wine tasting for my girlfriends, just to celebrate with them, even though most of them won't be invited to the wedding.  Every single one of them has been supportive.... Congrats to all of you!   
    lavasca
  • I'll be 44 when we marry in March, me for the first time.  We're in the thick of planning and it has been great.  We have the resources to hire a planner, have several friends and family who have done this before and are giving wonderful advice and are getting a clear picture of the day we want free of drama and petty concerns that might have seemed like big deals to our 25-year old selves.  Having a great time planning for our celebration.

    Someone else mentioned a lack of non-strapless bridal gowns.  I have found that too.  It's the one thing so far that's a bit of a challenge for an older bride who might want to cover up a bit more for age-appropriateness or  to de-empasize a few things the 22-year olds will see when THEY get to 40. Wink Advice for vendors or designers that have more of these options would be appreciated.  Best wishes to all!
    darthsgl90
  • im 42 and getting married for the first time in vegas next april ( im a UK bride ) , so so excited i would have not been ready to get married any younger
  • Congratulations to all you "mature" brides.  In our book " LOVE FOR GROWN-UPS: The Garter Brides Guide to Marrying for Life When You've Already Got a Life" we interviewed countless women who married over the age of 40.  They're all Garter Brides and they're part of a wonderful sisterhood of women who found love a little later in life and are sharing their views and ideas about making a happy and fulfilling life together.
    meydlfotoladie
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_first-wedding-at-40-anyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:616313c0-8770-473b-ae5c-f7ebd6b54ad1Post:439d83e7-e9e8-40a2-8733-9db7dbdcc8e3">Re: First wedding at 40... anyone else?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm 41 and just got engaged for the first time. I'm glad I waited. I took my time and found the right guy for me. Half of my friends who got married young are divorced already, because they were still growing up. Some questions for older brides: - What are you doing for gift registry? Because we're older, we already have most of our household stuff. And I know that I don't need the fancy china/linens that I would have coveted when I was younger - Has anyone faced this having lost both of their parents already? I will ask my brother to walk me down the aisle, but I'd like to include my mom and dad's memory in the ceremony in some way, so they have a presence.
    Posted by ValerieInSeattle[/QUOTE]<div>Why not have the officiant mention them.  You could also have a side table setup with childhood photos of you both with both sets of parents.

    </div>
    lavascafotoladie
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_first-wedding-at-40-anyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:616313c0-8770-473b-ae5c-f7ebd6b54ad1Post:439d83e7-e9e8-40a2-8733-9db7dbdcc8e3">Re: First wedding at 40... anyone else?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm 41 and just got engaged for the first time. I'm glad I waited. I took my time and found the right guy for me. Half of my friends who got married young are divorced already, because they were still growing up. Some questions for older brides: - What are you doing for gift registry? Because we're older, we already have most of our household stuff. And I know that I don't need the fancy china/linens that I would have coveted when I was younger - Has anyone faced this having lost both of their parents already? I will ask my brother to walk me down the aisle, but I'd like to include my mom and dad's memory in the ceremony in some way, so they have a presence.
    Posted by ValerieInSeattle[/QUOTE]<div>In our book LOVE FOR GROWN-UPS:  The Garter Brides' Guide to Marrying For Life When You've Already Got a Life we give you all sorts of strategies and checklists for your wedding andnew home - check it out!

    </div>
    nmay180
  • Hello.   I'm 50 years old and engaged to marry for the first time in May.  Very glad that I waited for the right man and the right time.    I'm short, plump and busy and terrified about the search for a dress, yikes!   Starting to do my research now.   All of the other planning stuff causes little stress and has been fun...but the dress....oh my, I'll be so glad to know what I will be wearing.   Happy to come across this site today.  
    librarylove46
  • Great post!!! I'm 41 getting married in 4 months. This is also my fiance first marriage. I don't think I would of been able to be so open and honest about love, life, needs, desires if I made the step earlier in life. I'm fortunate enough to have been best friends with my FI for almost 8 years. We fell in love a year ago and there has been no looking back. I would of never opened myself up to this wonderful man if I wasn't at the maturity level that I am now.
    And they lived happily ever after... February 16, 2013 Chapel of the Flowers Stardust Suite at The Orleans
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited October 2012
    I got married for the second time at the age of 56.  My bride was a sweet young thing of 41 who had never previously been married.  ;-)
  • I will be 52 when I marry for the first time next year!
    librarylove46
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_first-wedding-at-40-anyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:616313c0-8770-473b-ae5c-f7ebd6b54ad1Post:856d9346-2b28-4692-b100-3ab325b4da30">Re: First wedding at 40... anyone else?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: First wedding at 40... anyone else? : Why not have the officiant mention them.  You could also have a side table setup with childhood photos of you both with both sets of parents.
    Posted by The Garter Brides[/QUOTE]

    I think this is a fantastic idea!  Not only will you be able to feel their presence, but so will your guests...
    lavasca
  • Yep got married on my 53rd birthday, first time for both of us and everything was beautiful.  I had been engaged before to someone else years ago but couldn't honestly go through with it because I knew I was settling, I am so glad I waited for the right guy he is wonderful, enjoys life and makes me happy can't imagine living the rest of my life without him.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_first-wedding-at-40-anyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:616313c0-8770-473b-ae5c-f7ebd6b54ad1Post:a7a30cbf-d997-4d61-85c4-7712de70868e">Re: First wedding at 40... anyone else?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll be 44 when we marry in March, me for the first time.  We're in the thick of planning and it has been great.  We have the resources to hire a planner, have several friends and family who have done this before and are giving wonderful advice and are getting a clear picture of the day we want free of drama and petty concerns that might have seemed like big deals to our 25-year old selves.  Having a great time planning for our celebration. Someone else mentioned a lack of non-strapless bridal gowns.  I have found that too.  It's the one thing so far that's a bit of a challenge for an older bride who might want to cover up a bit more for age-appropriateness or  to de-empasize a few things the 22-year olds will see when THEY get to 40.   Advice for vendors or designers that have more of these options would be appreciated.  Best wishes to all!
    Posted by susan5225[/QUOTE]

    Speaking of non strapless bridal gowns at 53 I chose a chiffon gown, with one strap and a sweetheart neckline and because the wedding ceremony was at our church I had a chiffon wrap to cover up.  Finding the right gown had me in panic mode a little because all the bridal gowns that had straps looked very matronly I wound up going to about four bridal stores before finding what I wanted.
  • 43 is the new... Bride to be age! I am 43 and will marry for the first time in two and a half weeks! This is his first marriage as well. We are excited and are doing some traditional things but we are not going crazy on all of the trappings. I love being in love! I look forward to spending the rest of our days as husband and wife! Woot woot to all us 40+ brides!
    lavascafotoladie
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_first-wedding-at-40-anyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:616313c0-8770-473b-ae5c-f7ebd6b54ad1Post:90ee265d-6379-44a9-8f51-12c7665194ab">First wedding at 40... anyone else?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, techincally I'll be forty in April - but close enough ;-) Sometimes I feel like the guy in the 40 year old virgin movie...
    Posted by Blodwyn727[/QUOTE]





    Idk how this thing works, but yes....I'm with you on this one.....what in the world??...lol. Y did it take us sooo long??....btw....I'm an April baby too...:):)
  • ciaocarla1ciaocarla1 member
    First Comment
    edited November 2012
    I am 42 and this is my first wedding. Somehow I thought I would be more "mature" in the planning process but with each passing day I become more and more giddy over planning this thing. It's actually pretty funny when I catch myself getting a bit Bridezilla with certain things but the dress issue is my main concern. I thought it would look a little weird wearing a virginal, white gown at this age but I'm doing it anyway. It's my day and I'm going to throw out the "shoulds" and do what I want. I waited too long for this guy to come along not to do exactly what I want!Laughing

    And thank you for starting this thread. It's stressful enough trying to diet for a wedding at this age while having to look at Kate Middleton and Jessica Biel in their wedding gowns.
    loca4pookFriskypuppysscb2471tcircleranch
  • I will be 45 when I marry for the first time in August 2013.  I personally thought I would marry at 25 for the first time but I guess not, huh?  LOL!  Oh well nothing before it's time.  :)  



    Love is the ultimate superpower.   
    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  



    meydl
  • Following up on my earlier post...this 50 year old first time bride found her dress!  Amen!    Could not imagine myself in the long white dress and thought I would likely end up getting a regular formal occasion type of dress.  So glad that I kept my mind open and tried the long white dress!   Number 4 was the magic number and even though I don't like showing my upper arms, honestly...when I put that dress on, it was so right that I wasn't even looking at my upper arms.   Ha!  The bodice and crossover of the material below the waist in the front made it look like I had a figure, even though I have a belly and I was fortunate to find a dress that had wider straps on top that actualy would even hide a bra strap.  I did opt to get a sheer little jacket thing to wear just in case I need a little covering on top.  That will be my security blanket just in case.   The reason I am posting this is that I was really terrified about the dress and thinking I would feel silly being older, about my body not being in the best shape and wearing the white...but I am glad I didn't let that scare me from trying those wedding dresses on.   I am so happy with my choice and ready to walk down the aisle!      
  • @CheriSun50 - YAY on finding a dress that makes you feel wonderful.  :)



    Love is the ultimate superpower.   
    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  



  • May  18, 2013  1 st time at 42!
  • My Sweetheart and I  will both be 46 on our wedding day in February 2013.  It will be a first marriage for both. 
    We have opted to have a mixture of traditional + non traditional inclusions.
    For one I will not toss the bouquet as this practice has always caused my anxiety + I am never liked to see woman scrambling on the floor for flowers. Instead the bouquet will be given away via a raffle but then again I am not 100% SURE that I am ill to part with my handmade bouquet.
    Also there will not be the usual removal of the garter especially since I have no interest in harassing my thighs by wearing one.Nor will we do the tossing of the garter. In my experience some little 8 year old usually catches the garter. We would like to give the garter away but have not decided on how to select a recipient. I am open to suggestions.


    The response from people have been more then jubilant. Except my best friends mom says I should not wear white or a gown of any sort. Maybe I will opt to wear my Run-D MC sweat suite with matching furry Kangol and Addidas.

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