I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??

itschelsea · March 2012

I'm still giggling to myself about this and just wanted to share this breach of etiquette.

My very young cousin is marrying his girlfriend this June in Ohio. My dad, myself, and my boyfriend are all taking time off work and flying out there for the wedding, although we are not a terribly close family, its probably the only chance for my bf to meet the rest of my relatives.

So my father received a text message from my cousin yesterday saying (roughly): "Uncle J, been meaning to call but been just too busy, but Fi and I were wondering if your wedding gift to us would be paying for our plane tickets for our honeymoon."

We haven't even gotten a STD or invitation and he's trying to cherry pick his own wedding presents??! I told my father that cousin's wedding gift just became a really lovely card

mari0225 · March 2012

Wow that's extremely tacky and rude. I mean my wedding gift from my aunt is our hotel room in Vegas but I sure didn't ask for it and it's free for her since she gambles a lot there she gets comped rooms. Yeah I think I would be getting him a nice card as well.

DeannaCW · March 2012

Yeah, uber-tacky. How would they know how much your dad could afford, and if he could even afford plane tickets?? Egads.

Snippylynn · March 2012

Bahahahaha. That's awesome. I hope your dad responded with "No."

TheFutureMrsFreckles · March 2012

!!! Sooo tacky! Shudder-worthy. If you can't afford a wedding or honeymoon yourself, you wait til you can, not ask others to cover it!! Whewwwww hahah have fun at that wedding; I'd pay to see their faces when they open the card (I bet they'll shake it to see if the $ is hiding!)!!!

dubird · March 2012

Get them a model plane with their names painted on it. It's kinda the same thing, right? XD

andycorinawedding · March 2012

People never stop amazing me, I can't believe he ask that. How Rude!! And even worse in a text... I agree facny card it is!

RebeccaB88 · March 2012

Tacky is way too nice to describe this.

In fact, if I could cancel and refund my own plane tickets to their wedding, I probably would. (But that's just me.)

itschelsea · March 2012

My dad called me to double check that this was, in fact, out of line. My response was maniacal laughter.

I suggested that we possibly include a link to this very forum in the card.

If we hadn't already bought the tickets (without STD or invite in hand... don't ask) I would seriously consider declining. But then again, watching a 20 year demand presents that fun his wedding AT his wedding could turn out to be very entertaining....

MattsPenguin · March 2012

Holy cow! That is so freaking rude!!! Not the least of which being, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PLANE TICKETS COST!?!" That cost alone is above and beyond what most people would spend for a wedding gift.

wowand135 · March 2012

Crazy tacky/rude! Trying to pick your gift, AND it's a pricy one! I wonder why he did not ask his parents if he was going to ask anyone. But asking anyone = rude. I like the toy airplane idea

jemmini6 · March 2012

WTF? Seriously?

itschelsea · March 2012

I think that he assumes my father is wealthy and it wouldn't be a big deal, however, I'm the guy's only daughter and I would never expect him to do something like that for me, let alone ASK for it.

Its actually kind of sad, my dad is a really giving guy and I'm sure would have given them a great gift... but now its not a gift, it complying with a request, which takes away all the fun of gift giving!

zitiqueen · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-not-over-reacting-this-is-totally-tacky-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:935a5cd7-f8b0-478b-95cc-2f5bfc1eb8bePost:e0c6093f-6454-4b0f-8f8d-09ee92532895">I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??</a>:
[QUOTE] I told my father that cousin's wedding gift just became a really lovely card
Posted by itschelsea[/QUOTE]

You should at least put a $10-bill in it.

scarlettc27 · March 2012

Is it just me, or does anyone else LOVE reading these terrible lapses in wedding ettiquette? Not that I don't feel bad for your dad, OP, it sucks to be the one having to deal with rudeness.

For some reason, though, one of my favorite things has been reading about some of the ridiculous things people do. It must be the same part of me that enjoys watching Bridezillas. I should probably be ashamed : )

mbody · March 2012

Ewww SO RUDE!! I love how he meant to call, but has been too busy. Although, I'd rather get a text with that question over a phone call because I'm sure the person wouldn't want to hear what I would have to say to them- once I pick my jaw up from the floor, that is.

Megbo2012 · March 2012

Ha! Snips, I don't even think that deserves a repsonse. Gross.

fluttaby32 · March 2012

This is even more mind-boggling because you are not "a terribly close" family. I can't imagine asking an uncle for that kind of gift, nevermind one I WASNT CLOSE TO! wow.

Starqueg · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-not-over-reacting-this-is-totally-tacky-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:935a5cd7-f8b0-478b-95cc-2f5bfc1eb8bePost:c27b0968-408c-4a9a-afb2-b7ef8127f95c">Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it just me, or does anyone else LOVE reading these terrible lapses in wedding ettiquette? Not that I don't feel bad for your dad, OP, it sucks to be the one having to deal with rudeness. For some reason, though, one of my favorite things has been reading about some of the ridiculous things people do. It must be the same part of me that enjoys watching Bridezillas. I should probably be ashamed : )
Posted by cmhurst[/QUOTE]

I'm the same way. That, and when I'm totally stressed out, reading about the crazy family issues other people have remind me that my family might be nuts, but they could be a lot worse.

em01092 · March 2012

Wow. That's all.

What did he say back?

achiduck · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-not-over-reacting-this-is-totally-tacky-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:935a5cd7-f8b0-478b-95cc-2f5bfc1eb8bePost:f5697aef-c68e-44bd-9b82-2adbcb85e429">Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??</a>:
[QUOTE]Bahahahaha. That's awesome. I hope your dad responded with "No."
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

This.

That's a new level of rude.

itschelsea · March 2012

I don't think my Dad is going to reply at all, and if he does, Im sure he'll be gracious about it.

So I know that its also against etiquette to correct others on their etiquette blunders, but part of me wants to write him a little email letting him know that by making these requests, he's actually only doing damage.

... but like I said, we're not close so I'll probably just stay out of it and see how badly this all goes.

dumdumfroggie · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-not-over-reacting-this-is-totally-tacky-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:935a5cd7-f8b0-478b-95cc-2f5bfc1eb8bePost:572dd053-444f-49cd-a42d-4f7a9987dbe5">Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right?? : You should at least put a $10-bill in it.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

<div>Wait? What?!</div><div>
</div><div>Why should she do this? If she just wants to give a card or nothing at all, she's perfectly ok with doing that as well.</div>

ArynBaker · March 2012

Wow, I can't believe someone would ask for that! I agree, if you can't afford the plane ticket then post pone the HM or do something a little closer to home you can drive to.

mwiederhold · March 2012

WTF????????????????????????????????????????

mari0225 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-not-over-reacting-this-is-totally-tacky-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:935a5cd7-f8b0-478b-95cc-2f5bfc1eb8bePost:572dd053-444f-49cd-a42d-4f7a9987dbe5">Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right?? : You should at least put a $10-bill in it.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

Why?

sparent2010 · March 2012

Holy monkey balls... I am OMGTHISISSOTACKY' out.

This is incredibly rude OP. If I was your dad I just would not reply. If I were you I would give a card or a gift as you see fit. Personally they would be lucky to get a gift from me.

Ziti- what? Why most everyone her is in agreement that gifts are never required.

em01092 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-not-over-reacting-this-is-totally-tacky-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:935a5cd7-f8b0-478b-95cc-2f5bfc1eb8bePost:d1b53c1c-7937-407a-bedd-06e48572bcf0">Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right?? : Wait? What?! Why should she do this? If she just wants to give a card or nothing at all, she's perfectly ok with doing that as well.
Posted by dumdumfroggie[/QUOTE]

<div>I think she was being sarcastic. </div>

Megbo2012 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-not-over-reacting-this-is-totally-tacky-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:935a5cd7-f8b0-478b-95cc-2f5bfc1eb8bePost:e7a48a02-803f-4951-8613-78712055f693">Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think my Dad is going to reply at all, and if he does, Im sure he'll be gracious about it. So I know that its also against etiquette to correct others on their etiquette blunders, but part of me wants to write him a little email letting him know that by making these requests, he's actually only doing damage. ... but like I said, we're not close so I'll probably just stay out of it and see how badly this all goes.
Posted by itschelsea[/QUOTE]

<div>I think it is considered rude to tell someone they are being rude; maybe you could shoot him an email saying congratulations, if he has any questions WR he can ask you, and maybe send him a few links (including the knot, probably not the bee...) saying they all have really good advice. </div><div>
</div><div>Ziti, I'm also curious about the $10.</div>

Habs2Hart · March 2012

Oh my. Between this and the twice removed family that wanted the bride to pay for their 3 week vacation, this week has been super intersting for... umm... crazy shiit.

Megbo2012 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-not-over-reacting-this-is-totally-tacky-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:935a5cd7-f8b0-478b-95cc-2f5bfc1eb8bePost:e9f9965f-cfb4-4960-a291-f579aa245b55">Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right?? : I think she was being sarcastic.
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

<div>Maybe, but I would have picked up on it more if she said an amount a little more dramatic than $10</div>

I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??

Re: I'm not over-reacting, this is totally tacky, right??

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