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So This is in My FB Feed

AddieCakeAddieCake member
10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Woke up to this gem this morning:

Hey FB family and friends as y'all may know me an *Jane* are getting married in September an are asking for sponsors if y'all would like to help please let me know ASAP we would really appreciate it !!!

What the what? Is this a thing? We do this now?
What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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Re: So This is in My FB Feed

  • Knottie_22382049Knottie_22382049 member
    edited March 2013
    Unfortunately this is a thing. We do not do it, it is rude.  

    ETA: there are some budget wedding books that talk about finding sponsors for your wedding. 
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  • nda8414nda8414 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    This is an actual "thing"?
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Apparently some people do it now. We don't do it now. Do we? Oh dear.
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  • SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Sponsors for their wedding? Wow. We definitely do not do this now.

    They should go talk to some big companies who might pay to have their logo on various wedding items. That would be a Klassy wedding.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Surprised


    Random note. DH has 2 sisters.  My MIL does not have a lot of money.   Their dad is scum bag. We expect one to get engaged soon (they have been dating since they were 14 and they are now 26).  DH and I have talked (between us) about offering each of the sisters a few grand towards their weddings shall it ever happen.   Is it weird I don't want to be called a sponsor?   I mean I'm not some corporation.    I'm just family wanting to help out another family member






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Knottie_22382049Knottie_22382049 member
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-this-is-in-my-fb-feed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b61b56-966d-4e6f-b0ea-28c6612af74cPost:73b3556e-383c-41f1-93b3-9ccdf4c88caf">Re: So This is in My FB Feed</a>:
    [QUOTE]Random note. DH has 2 sisters.  My MIL does not have a lot of money.   Their dad is scum bag. We expect one to get engaged soon (they have been dating since they were 14 and they are now 26).  DH and I have talked (between us) about offering each of the sisters a few grand towards their weddings shall it ever happen.   Is it weird I don't want to be called a sponsor?   I mean I'm not some corporation.    I'm just family wanting to help out another family member
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    <div>That is different. Sponsors are either buisnesses or people who donate specific items and are mentioned in the program. Completely tacky. </div>
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  • daria24daria24 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I believe the idea of sponsors comes from some Latin American cultures, as it is traditional for uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc to sponsor things at the Quinceanera. Not being latina, I feel like I shouldn't judge that practice. However to adopt that tradition for weddings, especially if you don't come from that culture is just plain gauche.
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  • MsYeckMsYeck member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    I kinda see this as the same thing as asking parents to pay except this takes it up in tackiness more levels since now your asking everybody and their brother to pay. Just plan a city park or courthouse wedding already if that is what an individual can afford.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    The person IS Hispanic, so perhaps he is just naive about how this tradition is supposed to work?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Oh, good Lord....in one of the comments, he is now telling people they are asking $50 each.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • MsYeckMsYeck member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    Maybe you could "anonymously" send them a bridaL etiquette book, sounds like they need it bad. Reminds me of the $10 all you can drink house parties in college....not a wedding
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-this-is-in-my-fb-feed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b61b56-966d-4e6f-b0ea-28c6612af74cPost:594cb605-4959-415c-94f8-1c5d936e4a4c">Re: So This is in My FB Feed</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So This is in My FB Feed :

    How old is he , more or less??
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]



    Early 20s
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • coolwhipz1coolwhipz1 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    When my cousin got married to his now wife, his mom who planned EVERYTHING asked every female relative in the family to be "hostesses". I was about 20 at the time and didn't know better. Our contribution was 25 each.......

    Now I know better and am a little embarrassed for her every time I think about it.
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  • linnyv27linnyv27 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-this-is-in-my-fb-feed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b61b56-966d-4e6f-b0ea-28c6612af74cPost:3774f8c4-1edd-4c1b-8fc1-eb3f5c049a0e">Re: So This is in My FB Feed</a>:
    [QUOTE]The person IS Hispanic, so perhaps he is just naive about how this tradition is supposed to work?
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Ugh, I think that is definitely the case here. I am Hispanic and it is known for relatives and family members to buy something for the wedding (I don't like it), but I have never heard of asking people - let alone so openly on Facebook.

    Some of my relatives have been pushy, asking what we need for the wedding and offering to buy something because it's tradition. But I get so embarrassed at just the thought of letting them pay for something, so I just smile, thank them and change the conversation. So I can't believe someone would so bluntly ask people to be "sponsors".

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  • Weezy56Weezy56 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Maybe he got the idea from Star Jones. Didn't she have sponsors for her wedding back in the day? Ick.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2013
    This is what my sister went through with BIL's family during their wedding planning. His family is Hispanic and traditionally all the family take care of an aspect of the wedding so it's a huge party. My sister and BIL planned their wedding at city hall on a Monday afternoon so his family didn't have a chance to blow it out of proportion.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    A bunch of his family members are actually responding positively in their comments, so I'm hesitant to say anything. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • Knottie_22382049Knottie_22382049 member
    If this is a cultural thing and his family is replying positively I would just side eye it and drop it. 
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  • Knottie_22382005Knottie_22382005
    Oh my, I could never do that. People love getting handouts these days.
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  • swimmy1988swimmy1988 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    I've seen things on my fb feed as well. Some of fi's friends are getting married next year. The groom set up some kind of funding website, asking people to contribute to their wedding for perks. Neither are hispanic, so it's not some tradition.

    A wedding on little money or lots of money shouldn't matter, as long as the couple and their guests are happy.

    I really hope this isn't some new wedding trend.
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    Married as of June 22, 2013!!!

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  • pearlaquapearlaqua member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-this-is-in-my-fb-feed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b61b56-966d-4e6f-b0ea-28c6612af74cPost:72e8e5be-b133-4f82-9c89-7d1b21dd90d7">Re:So This is in My FB Feed</a>:
    [QUOTE]I believe the idea of sponsors comes from some Latin American cultures, as it is traditional for uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc to sponsor things at the Quinceanera. Not being latina, I feel like I shouldn't judge that practice. However to adopt that tradition for weddings, especially if you don't come from that culture is just plain gauche.
    Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]


    Yeah, even though it is common for Latin Americans to do the sponsor thing, it is TACKY to do so.

    My Latin American family members have a strong aversion to this practice for reasons others on this board would agree with:  If you want a party, you pay for it.

    Let's not excuse rudeness because other cultures are rude in their own way, in their own right.
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  • Knottie_22382102Knottie_22382102 member
    5 Love Its
    o.m.g. I had to google this because I had trouble fathoming it.  My vision includes a wedding dress inspired by Nascar. What does a $50 donation get me on the gown? A big patch on the arm with my name on it?


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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It is very common for latin weddings to have sponsors, but I have never ever ever heard of the bride & groom asking for the sponsors.  Usually, aunts & uncles approach the couple or the couple's parents and ask what item they can sponsor. (the cake, the flowers, etc.).   It is a tradition and it's considered an honor to be able to do that for the couple.

    Posting on FB to ask for sponsors is NOT part of that tradition.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • AmsdragonflyAmsdragonfly member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-this-is-in-my-fb-feed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b61b56-966d-4e6f-b0ea-28c6612af74cPost:f69aa7a0-bac0-4e77-b1fa-e90216a4cede">Re:So This is in My FB Feed</a>:
    [QUOTE]If he's a close friend, I'd honestly message him and maybe attach a few articles about how this is seen by etiquette mavens in American culture. I would want to let him know how this comes across. If he's more of a FB acquaintance, I'd probably post your "Is this a thing people do now?" Comment to start a dialogue about it. Either way, I wouldn't keep silent. But, despite angry newbs constantly accusing me of "hiding behind a computer screen", I am actually every bit as blunt and honest in real life as I am on here.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>This. Exactly. </div>
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