Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :)

katiewhompus · July 2010

I'm going against the grain but here are my thoughts on this:

Being a teacher, especially a first year teacher, is exhausting. While the crappy teachers work the assigned 8:45-4 schedule (School is on 9-3:45) most of them are there from 8am until around 5. Add in later if you want to participate in anything else such as helping/attending sports events, plays, tutoring sessions, staff meetings, breakfasts, etc. I think the first year is really important for establishing a relationship with the staff and students and attending the extra things seems to really help our teachers because it shows they are invested in more than just a paycheck.
You also have to spend time writing lesson plans, grading papers, as well as (assuming so because they do it here) taking career development courses or workshops.

Could you get hired back at either one of the jobs for summer or holiday breaks? If so I would drop that job "for now" and see how you are doing financially. I took a huge paycut when I went to a high school but emotionally it's 100% worth it. It will take a little longer to build up our savings and pay off debt, but I have energy to enjoy life and since I've been able to do more around the house Scott is less stressed as well.

curlycue27 · July 2010

I know you said you want to keep your debt separate from your husband, but could you borrow from him to completely pay off the card? If you pay him back instead of the CC co, without the 22% interest, I would imagine it would take half the time. We've done this and it worked out.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

katie, I definitely see your point in that. I am hugely worried I'm going to see myself turning down after school activities because I have to dash to Sylvan. I don't see the hotel being an issue, except that I'm so ready for a couple days off!! However, Sylvan is really counting on me at this point to take some of the load off the other three teachers, so I'm going to feel so bad if I quit. I don't know. Once school starts, that schedule could change, a lot. So, I guess if it gets to that point, I just need to be honest with Sylvan about my commitments to school. Surely she'd understand.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

curly, Shane doesn't have the several thousand I'd need on hand to pay it off. I could ask him to try for a loan, but I really don't want to go that route

katiewhompus · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hi-ladies-can-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e916236e-47c8-4238-a680-c47d8d06d0a4Post:0e234bf0-3357-4a88-b788-08340425d91e">Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]I know you said you want to keep your debt separate from your husband, but could you borrow from him to completely pay off the card? If you pay him back instead of the CC co, without the 22% interest, I would imagine it would take half the time. We've done this and it worked out.
Posted by curlycue27[/QUOTE]

This, or your parents. While it kills me to have to go to Bank of Dad on occasion, he only charges 4% interest and my pride is willing to save hundreds of dollars by asking for his help. His theory behind it is that one day he and mom are going to need my help, so he's glad to do it.

I'm jealous of you girls and your bills! Even with our "essentials to life" such as house payment (which is significantly less than when renting), insurances and student loans we are paying much more.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

haha, and katie, I hope to always keep it that way! We definitely want to always have money available to have fun trips and that sort of thing, so even if we buy a house in a couple years, it will still be something small and affordable. I want extra money to go towards fun stuff, not a house payment!

LP11509 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hi-ladies-can-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e916236e-47c8-4238-a680-c47d8d06d0a4Post:0b9ec249-4ea1-4515-b17d-dd09bb6413a3">Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :) : I'm jealous of you girls and your bills! Even with our "essentials to life" such as house payment (which is significantly less than when renting), insurances and student loans we are paying much more.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I am too!! Guess that's what we get for living in the DC area. FI I cringe every month when we hand over the ridiculously high rent check for our tiny one bedroom apartment. I can't wait to get out of here and back to a place where the cost of living is reasonable. I definitely miss that about the midwest!

curlycue27 · July 2010

Yeah, I don't blame you. I'd much rather owe to a random company then to a friend/family member. I was just trying to figure out a way to get out of that interest rate. If you do go ever go that way I've heard of a type of loan that you borrow from friend/family, but do it through a third party so that they get paid by company and you pay company. It sounds like it takes out a lot of the personal stuff... circle loan maybe?

AmoroAgain · July 2010

I'm hoping this means that Shane's finally gotten his head out of the clouds and is actually putting money towards the household things! I hate to think of you killing yourself to make things work, if he's not doing the same.

But, I really, REALLY think that you should look into getting a loan for your CC's from a credit union that you're a member of. It's easier to get rid of things when it's one bill, one rate. Also, I'm in agreement with the people who say that you won't be able to handle having three jobs your first year teaching. I know you want to give your students the best experience you can, and I'm not sure you'll feel that way if you're dividing your time up so massively.

Can Shane get an extra job or two to help out more with rent, etc so you can get stuff paid off quicker?

curlycue27 · July 2010

His theory behind it is that one day he and mom are going to need my help, so he's glad to do it.

My Dad likes to point out that that his investment in my college should enable me to get a good job and should therefore allow me to put him in a "luxury old people home" someday!

AmoroAgain · July 2010

I just have to say, I don't mind the cost of living so much now that we get so much more for it. In Italy, our $1200 a month got us a 45sqm apartment. Sweden we get 75!! YAY! lol

smokeybailey · July 2010

Oh, I may have no credit card debt, but I can go toe to toe with anyone for monthly household expenses.

katiewhompus · July 2010

Amen LP

Curly, that's my dad's saying too! "Be kind to your children, for they chose your nursing home"

Also something to think about, and please don't think I'm trying to insinuate anything, but how will working so much affect your relationship with Shane? If you are out of the house from 8am until 7pm every day and for the better portion of the weekend that can be really hard on even a long time established marriage!

LP11509 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hi-ladies-can-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e916236e-47c8-4238-a680-c47d8d06d0a4Post:8d79de44-1034-48f8-8f8e-c606ca572f57">Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]Can Shane get an extra job or two to help out more with rent, etc so you can get stuff paid off quicker?
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

This. Even if you two have agreed to keep finances separate, I would think that he still has some incentive to help get your debt paid off as it affects his ability to purchase a house, etc as well. And it just seems really unfair if you're working 3 jobs/busting your ass when he's not.

Again, please forgive me if I'm making incorrect assumptions here - I obviously don't know all of the background. But to me, this is part of the whole "for better or worse, richer or poorer" stuff that comes with marriage, and it strikes me as a bit odd that (from what you've posted here) you seem to be the only one concerned about this when it does impact both of your futures.

ETA: I'm really not trying to attack your marriage/husband, and I'm sorry if it came off that way. I'm just making an observation based on the limited amount of information I have on the situation.

AmoroAgain · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hi-ladies-can-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e916236e-47c8-4238-a680-c47d8d06d0a4Post:faf681d8-4304-4f3b-960a-c4d766c004a7">Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :) : This. Even if you two have agreed to keep finances separate, I would think that he still has some incentive to help get your debt paid off as it affects his ability to purchase a house, etc as well. And it just seems really unfair if you're working 3 jobs/busting your ass when he's not. Again, please forgive me if I'm making incorrect assumptions here - I obviously don't know all of the background. But to me, this is part of the whole "for better or worse, richer or poorer" stuff that comes with marriage, and it strikes me as a bit odd that (from what you've posted here) you seem to be the only one concerned about this when it does impact both of your futures.
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]
I may, or may not, have just fist pumped this.

katiewhompus · July 2010

I do kind of have to agree with Amoro and Lp on this one too. Scott came to our marriage with $3k on his credit card bill but it affects both of us so we both take care of it. Same thing with student loans. I think you are bearing a lot of burden on this when maybe you don't need to be working quite so hard.

LP11509 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hi-ladies-can-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e916236e-47c8-4238-a680-c47d8d06d0a4Post:87f34773-a361-4af2-bea2-4bda0cf1256a">Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :) : I may, or may not, have just fist pumped this.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

Haha. I'm generally of the opinion that you never know the entire situation of people on these boards and try not to assume things. But I really felt like that needed to be said, and I hope that Whit takes it to heart and has a talk with her H about it.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

Sorry, just got back from lunch.

Amoro, he has gotten his head back onto ground and is helping out a lot more, thank goodness! Also, I can't get a loan. My debt to credit ratio is too high. I've tried, from both a bank and a credit union. Shane has been trying to find another job, but it small towns, he's pretty limited. It would have to be a 3rd shift factory job, which could be a bad thing, if he's working til 7 am then has to go straight to the post office. I don't want him driving MY car with no sleep. So that hasn't been much of an option at this point.

Katie, it's been fine on us for now. Shane also works til around 5, and it's been later the past couple weeks because he's picked up half of someone else's route. We just make an effort to stay up later when I am home, watching movies and cooking dinner together. No worries there

And I hate to keep disagreeing, but I really do feel like it is my resposibility to clear my debt. I made it, through lots of bad decisions in college. (Impromptu shopping trips with the girls to Nashville? SURE! Floating trip on the Current River? Of course! And so it added up quickly). I refuse to allow him to pay off MY bad mistakes, just as I refuse to pay off his. It may sound crazy, stupid, whatever, but we'll call it my pride talking. It's not something that bothers me. I don't feel the least bit concerned about him not helping me. At some point, when we're both earning more, we may start taking on each others debt. But at this point, Shane has very little extra, and I'm not asking him to give it to my debt.

AmoroAgain · July 2010

Oh no honey. I don't mean that he should pay your debt, but when Allen and I moved in together, I offered to pay for some (I couldn't afford half) of his mortgage. Sure, it was his mortgage, but I lived there too, so I wanted to help out. He wouldn't let me do that because he wanted me to work on paying off my student loans. He wouldn't let me pay any of the electric or water bills either. Groceries we'd go halvsies on, but everything else he wanted to work on so that I could focus on my student debt. I'm definitely of the camp- You made, it you fix it- I don't think that you should be made to work so hard and support so much by yourself. Do you get what I'm saying? If Shane say, paid all of the rent, and you still went halfsies on everything else, that's a lot better for you right? So, I think that you should discuss with him the possibility of him doing that for however many months until your debt is paid off. It makes things better for both of you in the long run.

Obviously, if he can't do it, he can't do it, but I'd say it's worth looking into. Once you've been teaching for a few months, you should be able to apply for a loan again as your income to debt ratio should be better.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

Oooh thanks for clearing that up Amoro! At this point, that's not financially feasible for him. He has applied for about a dozen other full time jobs (so he can quit the post office), so maybe once something else works out, we can do that.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

Not in a while ILove. It's been maybe a year since I last asked? I suppose it couldn't hurt to try again, I've gained 150 points on my credit score in the last year, if that makes any difference.

LP11509 · July 2010

I totally get what you're saying about the debt being yours to pay. But my point was a little different.

I'm guessing that when you two decided to get married, he knew about your debt. I'm also guessing that he's a smart individual and would have figured out, "hey, if we want to buy a house together, her debt is going to affect that". My point is, even though he wasn't the one who caused the debt, it still affects his life and therefore I would think that he'd still be motivated to do whatever he can to get rid of it.

I would never, ever allow my FI to bust his ass working 3 jobs while I was home at 5 pm every day, regardless of what the situation was. And he wouldn't allow me to do that either. To me, that's the bigger issue here.

I agree with Amoro - would it be possible for him to maybe pay more in rent while you're working on paying off the debt? That way, the debt is still yours to pay, but it gives you a bit more breathing room. The faster it gets paid off, the faster you BOTH can get into a house, enjoy more vacations, etc.

ETA: I just saw your response about your H not bieng able to afford to pay more rent. Sorry, didn't type fast enough! And also, great job on your credit score going up 150 points! That's awesome

AmoroAgain · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hi-ladies-can-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e916236e-47c8-4238-a680-c47d8d06d0a4Post:718e3f28-25a4-44c7-a327-56748688c6e6">Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]Oooh thanks for clearing that up Amoro! At this point, that's not financially feasible for him. He has applied for about a dozen other full time jobs (so he can quit the post office), so maybe once something else works out, we can do that.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
Okey dokey! I just wanted you to think about the option. I hope he finds something soon!

Goldlie11 · July 2010

I don't know if this has been said, but can you lower your student loans temporarily? Sometimes they'll let you do interest only or income sensitive payments. Like Dani said, I would not worry about low rate student loans at the moment. I would focus on paying off the CC debt, especially at those rates.

As far a working, I'm a teacher and can tell you that the early years are exhausting. It took me about 3 years to finally feel comfortable. Now I don't have to spend as much time outside of the classroom preparing. I would at least drop one job. If you say that your hotel job will let you do other work, that might be good. You can lesson plan, grade work, and so on at the hotel.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

I see your point, and I thought maybe I answered it. It's not financially feasible for Shane to put any extra money in at this point. And the job thing, there is no issue. He can't get another job while working at the post office. If he doesn't come in whenever they call, he will be fired. Whether it's pulling a night shift to sort overnight mail packages, half a day to complete a route, whatever, he just can't say no. They'll fire him.

Also, "affects his life" is a little too much. He is not "OMG we gotta buy a house right now, you're screwing that up". He wants to get his truck paid off, we need money in savings for a down payment, etc. It's not just my debt that is making the house buying tricky. Which is why I said, at some point, when we're both better off financially, we'll try to work on each other's debt.

He's not "allowing" me to bust my as*s at three jobs. Right now, I literally can't afford to not work three jobs. After getting hired? Sure, it'll let it up. But letting up is what brought me to this post.

EDIT: I just saw your change. I hope I don't come off bitchy. I just want to not lay anymore blame on Shane's head than is his. I feel like since I shared our problems, it's easier to say, why isn't Shane doing *this*. So anyway

And yeah, having my car, paying the monthly payments on time, has shot my score up! I'm so thrilled. I was flamed here for wanting to buy that car in the first place, and I'm so happy I did.

katiewhompus · July 2010

I also think that we are all worrying about something that is only potentially happening, but it actually if a relief to me that someone else does this! Scott thinks I'm crazy when I go through thought processes like this when nothing is definite.

Ok, so here's my final verdict (because I have been delaying working out for far too long and need to just do it!)

Don't stress until things definitely happen, because we can't change the "what-ifs". Getting rid of the debt sounds like it's top of your list, so I would say see if
A) All of the schedules work out (if Sylvan HAS to schedule you at 3:30, then it probably won't jive with the school's schedule)

How you can handle the three jobs. (You can always quit one a month into the school year if it is too much, I'm assuming you aren't signing a contract with the hotel or Sylvan for a specified amount of time.
C) You randomly win the lottery and never have to worry about money again!

mwhitson14 · July 2010

Goldie, that's all up to the consolidation at this point. I applied for several different options, so I'm just waiting to see what they approve me for at this point.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

I vote C! Haha

I am really unsure where Sylvan is going to lead. At this point, I wish I hadn't taken the job. Too late now

LP11509 · July 2010

No worries. I didn't mean to come off as bitchy either. I just would hate for you to get burned out, emotionally and financially, over this situation.

And, you inspired me to get my free credit report/score online as I realized that I had no idea what my score actually is. Useful information (and I'm very pleased with it too.) Thanks for making me think to do that!

mwhitson14 · July 2010

Ha sure

I actually pay $7 a month to keep on top of mine. Free credit report says it's $14, but if you call and try to cancel it, they'll half it for a year. So you get to watch one of your credit scores for a year. You can't see the other two without paying, but still. One is good. That's how I'm monitoring my credit to debt ratio.

Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :)

Re: Hi ladies! Can I get your opinions? :)

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