trying to stay on top of everything

artisticjewishbride2013 · July 2012

We have a date

Oct 20, 2013

We have colors

Blue and Orange ( like UVA and SU) with hints of maroon, gold and silvers

got to keep it interesting

We have a Venue

http://www.thorpewood.org/

We have a caterer and a preliminary menu

http://www.canapescatering.com/

The dress was a struggle between my heart and my head. i fell in love with a dress at Klienfeilds, a Henry Roth but because even with the trunk show price your still paying 7% more then the tag ( due to the 8% tax), all those trips train tickets to NY, the hotel rooms for alterations ( which again your paying 8% tax)...it just not practical.

I decided to a Demetrios gown that had the same feel to the skirt and is just as comfortable. I will have pictures of it soon

I think im going to wait til December to get accessories.

Fi and crew is getting Navy blue J crew suits , French cuff shirts

I am working on the Navy blue dresses for the bridesmaids

I know i need to get a photographer but it is hard without a budget for that just yet

Am I missing or not thinking about something ?

I now some of you ladies are even futher ahead then I am

Stina51286 · July 2012

You haven't set a budget yet?! That was the first thing I did so I knew not to go over board.
I finally have all my girls asked since I want dresses ordered in Sept so they do not go discontinued (they are from Spring 2009).

I have tons of small stuff to get done, tuxes, and cake. Can it be Oct 2013 yet?

artisticjewishbride2013 · July 2012

My Fiance's Parents are refusing to give any help on the budget question and are meeting with my parents in October to discuss the budget. His dad actually told my FI that he going to tell my parents that they are not contributing a dime. When I took both mom's shopping his dad said to my mom " just be careful what you spend" When it gets closer then they ill decide where they will want to help. ( Part of it as well is FI is paying back for my ring) So for right now I am assuming that my parents have a set limit and whatever goes over my FI and I will be paying for.

They think that they will pay for the rehearsal dinner and the normal parents of the groom stuff. News Flash their is no rehearsal dinner.

They are well aware of that I am buying my own gown, accessories , mani/pedi, hair , makeup, gifts for attendants etc. They know that i will be wearing my grandmothers wedding band.

They know Jordan wants to do the J crew suits and his parents had the nerve to suggest that WE BUY his brothers suits for the wedding.

His mom and dad have been worrying over the money, actually checking the price tag on gowns I was trying on, trying to see if I could get a discount for cutting the train off the dress ( just stupid ) , Jordan wanted me to send his dad the catering contract so I did after some choice words and like I thought his dad wrote back "What does your dad think of the price?"

They support the marriage just think A) no one will come

that we should have immediate family only wedding

My fiance was so angry with them on Saturday night and is to the point of if they don't stop it soon they wont be coming and will not have a relationship with us in the future. The budget is a sore subject around this house. I been working off my mom OKing the venue which includes 100 tables and chairs and the whole 155 acre property for 8hrs

I really try not to think about the budget.

Cake is included in the catering bill $4 per person plus a sheet cake for 2.50 a person and everyone has raved about it

dewingedpixie · July 2012

Artistic why do you expect others to pay for your wedding? FI and I are going to pay for the entire thing ourselves. My family was upset because they couldnt help being in not such a good financial situation and I told them flat when we announced the engagement to them we knew you didnt have the money that is one of the driving factors for us to select a date 18 months out so when we start paying we have 12 months to cover the costs. I never expected anyone to pay for our celebration of our lives coming together.

Where our wedding stands: Date set, cake maker chosen, location chosen we need to put a down payment down, colors selected, caterer almost selected not the menu, alcohol selected, photographer selected and thats it.

Stina51286 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_trying-to-stay-on-top-of-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:f552c307-2489-4ceb-98ce-ea3f75221468Post:43c9fb15-b268-4a3a-a850-eab96baf95d7">Re: trying to stay on top of everything</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Artistic why do you expect others to pay for your wedding?</strong> FI and I are going to pay for the entire thing ourselves. My family was upset because they couldnt help being in not such a good financial situation and I told them flat when we announced the engagement to them we knew you didnt have the money that is one of the driving factors for us to select a date 18 months out so when we start paying we have 12 months to cover the costs. I never expected anyone to pay for our celebration of our lives coming together. Where our wedding stands: Date set, cake maker chosen, location chosen we need to put a down payment down, colors selected, caterer almost selected not the menu, alcohol selected, photographer selected and thats it.
Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]

The bolded! You should NEVER expect anyone to pay for anything unless they outright hand you the $. My mom told my sister she'd pay x amount towards their wedding this Aug. My mom hit financial hardships with her employer closing and is now $500 short of what she told them she'd help out with, now they are $1200 short for their wedding because they expected it without having the money at hand. You need to figure out a budget based on what YOU and FI can afford, without anyone helping out. If in the end they do hand you money, great you have extra cash for lets say a honeymoon or something you really wanted for the wedding but at the time you could not afford it.

Klyn1983 · July 2012

Definitely don't plan a wedding around money that isn't there. If someone steps up and offers to pay for a portion of the wedding, that's awesome. But don't rely solely on that! I've seen way too many people sign contracts for their weddings thinking that their families will pay and then financial hardships happen and they are left with a wedding they can't afford.

My fiance and I will be paying for everything ourselves, it's our decision to get married and therefore it's our responsibility to pay for it ourselves. (Just our opinions on it).

sloaner09 · August 2012

Agree with setting a budget BEFORE you start to sign contracts and buy attire. My finace and I are older, so we are paying for much of the wedding. We set a budget based on not getting any help from parents. His mother is going to pay for the rehearsal dinner and his dad is going to help us out a little. My mom is buying my dress (even though I protested about it and said I would pay for it myself) and they are helping out a little.

There is NO WAY that I would be able to figure things our without a budget. My advice is not to do anything else until you know exactly what the budget is and how you will pay for everything!

GoldenCityDreamer · August 2012

There's no need for the cattiness. Some people feel that they are entitled to certain privleges while others understand that those privleges are not rights but gifts. People are just different we all we not raised the same. The same way we all weren't sent off to college or expected to inherit the family business.

We are taking ownership of our wedding. It avoids family conflict and gives us complete flexibility and control. It's our wedding we want it our way so we will be the ones who pay.

His grandmother put her foot down and told us that she was going to do our honeymoon, or else she was going to go behind our backs and buy stuff off of our registry. My parents really really want to buy my attire and insist on it. We never asked them we gave them the option to volunteer their help and decided to keep our budget within what we could afford on our own.

artisticjewishbride2013 · August 2012

I wish people would stop assuming and throwing around the word entitled is just rude.

I am EXTREMLY blessed to have such wonderful parents who can afford to pay for college out of pocket x 4 ,yeah a good chunk of my wedding (i wish i could cut the catering bill down but FI already cut it back $9 a person) and my parents are selling one of thier houses in a few years to help us buy a house in the DC area.

I truely have some of the most amazing parents who instilled in me the passion for healthcare and the importance of higher education. I never grew up feeling entitled, like i had more etc. My parents put thier kids first , putting money in college funds vs thier own retirements or the morgage.

I am so proud of my mom for going back to school and getting her BSN and continueing on for her duel masters.

THE MONEY FROM MY PARENTS IS IN HAND LADIES

It would be extremly stupid to sign a contract if the money is not there. I am not just taking the money, my family has been very involved in the decisions.

money is NOT the issue with future IL, it thier negitivity and the fact that they told thier son that they want to wait til the contracts are signed, the deposit has been sent, the materials have been bought IE wait until the last minute before they want offer what they want to offer.

If they don't want to help then fine but my future IL telling me that when they got married they took the 10k her parents gave her and basically eloped and pocketed the money and I should do the same assuming my parents are going to just hand over the money got me errked.

Telling my mom to be careful what she spends, to try to downgrade everything, tell us no one from her family is going to come, for my future MIL to drive the bridal consultant crazy with trying to get a discount becouse she thinks I should shorten the train. I just started laughing at it. To send them the menu for thoughts on how to cut cost per person and getting "what does your dad think of this?" that was an I TOLD YOU SO MOMENT TO MY FI

Can my FIL afford to contribute, by g-d yes but weather they choose to or not is completly up to them. My FI actually was the one that got beyond angry with his parents to the point he wants to uninvite them ,I just hope they sort it out before the wedding.

Yes the budget is big key but

my mom agreed to the venue 100%

She said to keep the cost per person for food between 30-40

I am buying the dress, undergarments,accerories , shoes, the hair and makeup for my bridal party, my nails, the kettubah, my FI ring ( i may see if i could use a family heirloom, FI father has a ring they want me to look at as well) wine glass,plate, table, fabric for bags, chuppah cover, chuppah poles

Jordan is suppose to buy his own suit , he is renting the on site cabin for the night, officant and honeymoon.

So basically it comes down to Photographer, videographer, table decorations, flowers, music

Stina51286 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_trying-to-stay-on-top-of-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:f552c307-2489-4ceb-98ce-ea3f75221468Post:3d3c20eb-e121-4b41-88aa-bd6e2b990670">Re: trying to stay on top of everything</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I wish people would stop assuming and throwing around the word entitled is just rude.</strong> I am EXTREMLY blessed to have such wonderful parents who can afford to pay for college out of pocket x 4 ,yeah a good chunk of my wedding (i wish i could cut the catering bill down but FI already cut it back $9 a person) and my parents are selling one of thier houses in a few years to help us buy a house in the DC area. I truely have some of the most amazing parents who instilled in me the passion for healthcare and the importance of higher education. I never grew up feeling entitled, like i had more etc. My parents put thier kids first , putting money in college funds vs thier own retirements or the morgage. I am so proud of my mom for going back to school and getting her BSN and continueing on for her duel masters. THE MONEY FROM MY PARENTS IS IN HAND LADIES :D It would be extremly stupid to sign a contract if the money is not there. I am not just taking the money, my family has been very involved in the decisions. money is NOT the issue with future IL, it thier negitivity and the fact that they told thier son that they want to wait til the contracts are signed, the deposit has been sent, the materials have been bought IE wait until the last minute before they want offer what they want to offer. If they don't want to help then fine but my future IL telling me that when they got married they took the 10k her parents gave her and basically eloped and pocketed the money and I should do the same assuming my parents are going to just hand over the money got me errked. Telling my mom to be careful what she spends, to try to downgrade everything, tell us no one from her family is going to come, for my future MIL to drive the bridal consultant crazy with trying to get a discount becouse she thinks I should shorten the train. I just started laughing at it. To send them the menu for thoughts on how to cut cost per person and getting "what does your dad think of this?" that was an I TOLD YOU SO MOMENT TO MY FI Can my FIL afford to contribute, by g-d yes but weather they choose to or not is completly up to them. My FI actually was the one that got beyond angry with his parents to the point he wants to uninvite them ,I just hope they sort it out before the wedding. Yes the budget is big key but my mom agreed to the venue 100% She said to keep the cost per person for food between 30-40 I am buying the dress, undergarments,accerories , shoes, the hair and makeup for my bridal party, my nails, the kettubah, my FI ring ( i may see if i could use a family heirloom, FI father has a ring they want me to look at as well) wine glass,plate, table, fabric for bags, chuppah cover, chuppah poles Jordan is suppose to buy his own suit , he is renting the on site cabin for the night, officant and honeymoon. So basically it comes down to Photographer, videographer, table decorations, flowers, music
Posted by artisticjewishbride2013[/QUOTE]

We all got the same reaction out of your post after I asked about why you don't have a budget. Maybe you should have worded it differently and it wouldn't have made you sound the way you did.

artisticjewishbride2013 · August 2012

Damned if I write to much

Damned if I write to little can't win LOL

Stina51286 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_trying-to-stay-on-top-of-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:f552c307-2489-4ceb-98ce-ea3f75221468Post:3caa3ace-c300-427e-ac16-4ee85e52c322">Re: trying to stay on top of everything</a>:
[QUOTE]Damned if I write to much Damned if I write to little can't win LOL
Posted by artisticjewishbride2013[/QUOTE]

Lol the internet does a sucktastic job sometimes!

trying to stay on top of everything

Re: trying to stay on top of everything

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