s/o friend issues

*Barbie* · April 2011

story time! I want to hear stories about what caused you to "break-up" with a long term friend - what was the final straw?

nicoleg1982 · April 2011

Incommunication on her part, yet demanding that I make all contact, celebrate birthdays and attend her weddings. She lived in TN. I lived in FL.

This is the girl who had the balloon arch and balloon "topiaries" for her wedding. I should have known better.

The most recent contact was a year or so ago, and her FI contacted me via FB wanting to be friends with a message that Friend says, "Hi!!!!" I told him I wished them the best of luck, but no thanks. I was thinking in my head that they could go fck themselves and that he was a fool - this was her THIRD marriage. ETA: She is 29.

**O-Face** · April 2011

I've never really "broken up" with a friend. I've let it fizzle and go away, but nothing crazy explosive.

*Barbie* · April 2011

I have known L since Kindergarten. We were in Brownies/Girl Scouts/School together, and used to be BFF (until 3rd grade - I got a new BFF, but still hung out with L a lot.) Growing up, L was not popular, and I was her only real friend. (I was fairly popular in school - not in a head cheerleader/homecoming queen/mean girls sense, but I was friendly with basically everyone.)

but i digress...

L was like 6's friend #2 - she liked to gossip about EVERYONE - she'd make fun of what they were wearing/how they looked, or if they "liked someone " I think part of it was a defense mechanism, and I think part of it caused some of her unpopularity. She never said anything directly to people - she wasn't a bully - but she'd always say things to me. I always assumed that she never talked about me behind my back because she didn't really have any other friends.

We had a few big fights over the years - she told my 6th grade crush that I liked him, and I didn't talk to her for a good three months - stuff like that.

In sophomore year of high school, a new girl (E) transferred into our school and became "friends" with L. I didn't like E at first because L was always talking sh*t about her, and kept asking L why she wanted to hang out with her. Either way, i would occasionally spend time with the 2 of them together - but three's a crowd. E and I both coordinated with L's mom to throw L a surprise sweet 16 party.

The summer before junior year, I started dating a guy (T) who would become my first *serious* BF. I had dated some other guys in the past or had "boyfriends" but nothing that lasted more than a month or so. T was the same age, but went to another school - i met him at work. T and I were together for more than a year. L got jealous that I was spending time with T and less time with her, so she started shutting me out some and spending more time with E. . . until E got a BF too.

Junior year, E and I both spent time with our BF and less with L, who started hanging out with some other girls. I started hearing occasional rumors about myself and E but didn't really give it any thought.

E went on vacation with L's family over the summer between Jr. and Sr. year.

At the beginning of Sr. year, the sh*t hit the fan. E and I were in the same homeroom and started taking "I never really liked you because of all of this stuff that L used to tell me" "Same here." - we started comparing stories and came to the conclusion that L was the one spreading rumors about us. (Stuff along the lines of my BF was just made-up, E was sleeping with her BF, I was sleeping around, etc.) We decided we didn't want to be friends with L anymore, and we were going to mess with her.

When L and E were on vacation, they watched "Jawbreaker" - the movie where the girls play a prank on their friend and she accidentally chokes on her jawbreaker. L was TERRIFIED that we would do something similar to her for her 18th birthday.

E had the combo to L's locker... so we drew a characature of her and hung it in the locker. played up all of her unattractive features.... and then we filled the entire bottom, and every shelf of the locker with mini jawbreakers... and glued one on the mouth of the pic. (they were the pea-sized version of the movie jawbreaker)

L's mom called the school and E got called to the principal. She told him it was just a prank, and never ratted me out as her partner in crime. E didn't get in trouble, but L didn't talk to or about us anymore.

ETA - I'm FB friends with L now - she sent me a note about 4 or so years ago and apologized for being such a b*tch in HS and asked if I would forgive her. She still doesn't know that I was involved in the jawbreaker prank.

arbolita · April 2011

Mr. Arb broke up with our best man recently - or maybe he broke up with us, I'm not really sure. It really started around the wedding, he skipped the rehearsal because he was "sick," but really he was down at Bike week with his girlfriend.

Then there was a lot of other drama with his girlfriend, including putting on FB that they were engaged (and then 2-3 weeks later when he finally called Mr. Arb said it wasn't real and they only did that because..I forget the reason, something to do with his ex-wife). Then his fiancee was writing stuff on Facebook about how they had sent out wedding invitations using an event on FB, and we didn't get anything. Maybe a month later we were invited to it? And got an actual invitation 2 weeks before the wedding. And then after the wedding he dropped off the face of the earth, until a couple months ago when he texted Mr. Arb saying that he was moving out of their house because his wife was blaming all of their fights/issues on his daughters from his first marriage. So Mr. Arb spent a loooong time talking to him and being supportive. And then apparently two days later everything is fine again. And we haven't heard from him since.

thatgrrrrl · April 2011

D and I were BFs from Jr. High until Sophmore year of HS when she dropped out. Then we re-connected my senior year. She and her "husband" (there is a whole long story about that cluster) borrowed a shitton of money from me and never repaid me.

She left the husband while he was in jail (ran off with his best friend) and disappeared. She reappeared a few years later but I had grown up and moved on. No time for people like that.

baconsmom · April 2011

Mostly I just have fizzles, due to time or different life paths. Although my HS BFF and I were still close for a long time after I moved to PHX, she turned all fundie and started sending me crazy "I want to save your soul" emails. And while I could just delete those, after she called me a slut over the phone, I was done. We didn't speak for years.

We're now FB "friends", but I'm sure she spends half her time eyerolling what I post. Though she's chilled out considerably - or has just remembered how stubborn I am, who knows.

dharmabunny · April 2011

Like O most former friendships were just fizzles. Life gets in the way, and everyone gets a little Phoebe. It's a two way street, and sometimes the lack of drive on both ends is telling enough. No hard feelings.

The bad, splattery breakup. Looking back, we were the dateless duo. Hung out a lot because of lack of any substantial boyfriend action. Then the Covenant of the Dateless was shattered. I started dating DH.

She was pissy at me because I wasn't spending enough time with her, even though I was still finding the time for her. F*ck me, I was already racking my brain about trying to balance time with her, DH, and somehow manage maybe one evening to myself every so often. We had the smackdown discussion where she said I was dropping the ball on being her friend and that I let go of friends just because I had a BF. I let her have it and didn't hardly say peep one to her for over a month. I was too steamed, any contact with her would not have ended well.

Final straw. After a big to-do about wanting to salvage a friendship, I tried to schedule time together for us to do something fun, no DH included. I suggested a concert of a performer we both like. She gave the lame reason of saving $$, provided no alternative for hangout time or activity. Gee, for someone wanting the friendship back so bad, I didn't appreciate active thwarting. I think the reconciliation was more of a power move than anything.

She effed over one of my BFF's in much a similar fashion, that one was even stranger than mine. BFF told her where to get off too.

ReturnOfKuus · April 2011

Well, it was the demotion from MOH to BM, but now we're friends again.

AuntFlo · April 2011

The final final straw was her not showing up to my baby shower after RSVPing yes. A week later she sent me a message on myspace (!!! Yes, I said myspace!!!) telling me she was sorry she didn't make it. Of course, I didn't get the message for weeks and weeks becuase who checks their myspace? (To be fair, it was about 3 years ago and myspace wasn't completely dead yet.)
After that, I was done.

MizBiscuit · April 2011

The only time I really broke up with a friend was in middle school. I had been BFFs with B since 1st grade. We ran in different circles (I was a bit of a dork) by 6th grade but I was still trying to hold onto the friendship anyway. Until her birthday party. It was a sleep over and I was the entertainment. It was nothing but hours of her and her friends making fun of me, my clothes, the way I spoke. The final straw was when one of them made fun of my little sister (the autistic one). It was 1am and I woke up B's mom so that she could call my parents to come get me. We never spoke after that.

Even when I saw her at our 10 yr reunion we made eye contact and then each turned around and went the other way.

MrsMyrtle · April 2011

My college BFF got insanely jealous when I started dating a guy (not H), to the point where she stopped talking to me and ignored me.

I spent the night with him on my birthday, and we were awakened by his phone ringing. He answered it, and said, "What?" Then handed ME the phone.

It was my BROTHER. My "BFF" had called him because I hadn't come back to my room that night, saying that she was worried. (Bullschit.) How she even found his number, I don't know. She never knew my bf's last name.

Bro was like, "Uh... wtf are you doing? Are you okay?" It was awkward for both of us.

To say I was pissed is an understatement.

AuntFlo · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_friend-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:d529447d-3169-43a6-b541-98efd0a03503Post:1763910f-4b26-4809-bc36-5c54d3b513df">Re: s/o friend issues</a>:
[QUOTE]My college BFF got insanely jealous when I started dating a guy (not H), to the point where she stopped talking to me and ignored me. I spent the night with him on my birthday, and we were awakened by his phone ringing. He answered it, and said, "What?" Then handed ME the phone. It was my BROTHER. My "BFF" had called him because I hadn't come back to my room that night, saying that she was worried. (Bullschit.) How she even found his number, I don't know. She never knew my bf's last name.<strong> Bro was like, "Uh... wtf are you doing? Are you okay?" It was awkward for both of us.</strong> To say I was pissed is an understatement.
Posted by MrsMyrtle[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry, but this made me LOL.

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