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Moms and Maids
how can i pay tribute to both of my decesased parents?
My FI & I just got engaged 3 weeks ago & I have already began planning our wedding. My dad passed away when i was 5 & my mom when i was 14 due to MS. My sister is my MOH & I'm having a hard time figuring out who will walk me down the aisle, programs, father/daughter dance & planning a wedding without my mom & dad. I feel like i can't talk to my sister about it, even though it's been 10 years since my mom's passing it's still a difficult subject , my future mother in law wants to help with as much as she can and I'm blessed to have her in my life but it's not the same. I wanted to dance to mama's song by carrie underwood & tears in heaven by erc clapton in their memory. My grandma has been the stongest loosing 3 of her children in one year and i want her to know a day doesn't pass we don't wish they were still here, but i don't want to bring her to tears. Anyone who has any suggestions on how to incorporate my parents into the ceremony or reception, please share.
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Re: how can i pay tribute to both of my decesased parents?
Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.
One think I would suggest, and I hope this doesn't come across as insenstive, is to talk to your grandma and your sister about any ideas you have before you decide on anything too specific or public. You want to remember your parents without re-awakening grief and it will likely be emotionally difficult for a lot of your family without very visible or public reminders that your parents cannot be present. This might mean deciding to play the songs you want without a specific announcement of their purpose or deciding to go just with flowers placed out at your ceremony but no program note.
I struggled with remembering my maternal grandma and DH's brother. We didn't want to upsest people on a happy day so we did flowers at our ceremony site, which our officiant announced as flowers in remember of those who could not be present. I also carried my grandma's handkerchief in my bouquet.