White bridesmaid dresses? What do you think?

kristi-ji · February 2010

Several days ago, I came to the decision to have my 3 beautiful bridesmaids wear white as they stood alongside me (much to the dismay of a very traditional father). The reason?
1. My sister and lovely maid of honor has run into difficult times financially, her budget for a dress after all is said and done? around $75. My fiance's sister? Around 350. To prevent anymore family awkwardness around money, (mine? unluckly financially, and his? loaded in comparison) I chose to have them select their own dresses. They can find something beautiful, something within their price range, without anyone else being the wiser.
2. Because I adore them and want them to look stunning standing next to me, I want them to purchase a dress that is unique to them, that, along color guidelines, makes them look beautiful - no single dress will do that (the cross country runner, the marilyn monroe look alike, and the curvy italian princess). And, if they are picking out their own dresses, what color can only be THAT color? White. Blue can always be teal.
3.I believe, most importantly that it will look stunning. The theme is modern vintage, old hollywood glamour with just a touch of my fiance's rustic elegance - the mountains and a few peacock feathers side by side. For that reason, the colors are predominately white/cream and champagne with sparks of blue and rich yellows (complimented by peacock feather sewn into the centerpieces and bouquets.) And when I walk down the isle in a champagne/off white lace gown, what better to compliment it than my beautiful BMs in diamond white wearing fabulous blue stilettos?
But let me know what you think! My father loathes the idea. My fiance is agast. In all seriousness, why the hell not?

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Totally not my style, but not my wedding either. I'd worry about the sister getting a white dress and blue stiletos along with any necessary alterations for $75, but if she's got something in mind, fine.

Personally, I would go with black instead of white. You'd still accomplish your objectives, and there are a lot more black dresses out there (especially at the lower price point.)

emilyinchile · February 2010

I think it's weird. Call me traditional, but I would find it strange as a guest to see this. That said, it wouldn't offend or upset me, and I can't see how it would hurt anyone, so if you don't mind people thinking it's odd then go for it.

Also, if the main issue with another color is that there will be some variation, you can send them paint chips to match the dresses to. That would prevent the blue vs. teal debate.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

I think that would be cute, but I'd add a pop of color with a sash just to make it interesting.

Also, realize that white doesn't look good on everyone, especially more voluptuos women. Black tends to be more flattering for all body types. Again, I would add a pop of color with a sash..

bablingbrooke · February 2010

My mom had white BM dresses at her wedding. They were lovely. Each BM had a bouquet of flowers in a different color with a sash to match the color (I think they were purple, pink, and yellow).

aerinpegadrak · February 2010

I'm personally not a fan, but that's just me. If your girls like the look, then go for it.

I'd drop out of a wedding if the bride wanted me to wear any sort of stilettos, though. Not even joking. I'm not sure I'm close enough to anyone to take a very real risk of breaking my ankle for them.

kristi-ji · February 2010

wow...many opinions are a bit negative. Not quite what I was expecting from my knot community.

I was certainly going to have them wear a blue sash/flower to add that spark of color. And, although I couldn't find an image of white/blue. I did find pictures from an all white wedding. Gorgeous.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://aprilfosterevents.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/all-in-white.jpg&imgrefurl=http://aprilfosterevents.com/blog/2009/bridesmaid-all-in-white/&usg=__vB7lM9DxocPLqKvAANasly0uYrc=&h=500&w=900&sz=410&hl=en&start=5&sig2=CJlEMUe_-fCgcbjX45lxug&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=mH9BGwfW26AEEM:&tbnh=81&tbnw=146&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dall%2Bwhite%2Bwedding%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rlz%3D1T4DKUS_enUS259US259%26tbs%3Disch:1&ei=LWOFS8iPOoqmtgOQveWfDw

gottahavashorti · February 2010

I'm a fan of short white BM dresses with or without a sash but my FI wasn't so we went with a color. In pictures with long ones, they always end up being pretty similar to the style of the brides dress and it becomes a game of guess the bride. Nix the blue stilettos though, many people aren't comfortable wearing them. Any blue shoe will do, or a neutral shoe and a pop of blue in the flowers.

emilyinchile · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_white-bridesmaid-dresses-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:20ffd810-e37a-456e-9007-183ff1d7249bPost:2cd4f466-1e82-46ed-b282-58025c548742">Re: White bridesmaid dresses? What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]wow...many opinions are a bit negative. Not quite what I was expecting from my knot community.
Posted by kristi-ji[/QUOTE]

You asked what we thought. People told you. No one said it was SO awful or that you were wrong to do it, and it can't really shock you to hear that something that's different enough to have apparently upset your family isn't across-the-board popular.

In general, if you just want to hear encouragement/validation, your local or club board is the way to go. The international boards like this one tend to offer more objective opinions that sometimes will be different from your.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_white-bridesmaid-dresses-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:20ffd810-e37a-456e-9007-183ff1d7249bPost:2cd4f466-1e82-46ed-b282-58025c548742">Re: White bridesmaid dresses? What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]wow...many opinions are a bit negative. Not quite what I was expecting from my knot community.
Posted by kristi-ji[/QUOTE]

Yes, some were negative because you asked what we thought and we told you, honestly. We don't go for blind validation here. If you didn't want honest opinions, perhaps you shouldn't have asked for them.

That issue aside, I don't think anyone was rude. We all gave you some helpful suggestions.

mandybear7 · February 2010

All of the girls in that picture look nice, but they all have one thing in common- they're tan/darker toned.

I would talk to your BM and get their opinions about the color. It's difficult to find a white dress that will look good with paler skin and may not be flattering.

mbcdefg · February 2010

Do I think white dresses are a bad idea on principle? Absolutely not.

Do I think they're a hard color to pull off? Yes, very much so. My concern would be that it'd wash out people with pale skintones, and that it's a not-so-flattering color on heavier women. I have no problem wearing a white bridal gown since it's more figure-flattering, but I would probably never be able to pull off a whiet cocktail dress since I'm pale and overweight. (This is why a lot of people suggested black dresses as an alternative, because black is a much easier - and more widely available - color to pull off well.)

Have them try the white dresses on first and see what they think, and take an honest vote. If they work for your girls, then go for it ... Google "all white weddings" or "white bridesmaids" to see some pretty pictures. Just keep the lines of communication open with your BMs, let them try things on, and encourage them to be honest with you.

As for the stillettos ... again, talk to your friends and get some honest opinions. If they work for everyone, awesome. But realize that different women have different feet. It's fine if everyone agrees on them, but IMO it's very unfair to *make* your bridesmaids all wear the same shoes just for the sake of uniformity or a cute photo op when they're clearly not comfortable in them. Have them try the shoes on and see, and allow them to pick out their own shoes if the ones you have in mind don't work for everyone.

And please realize, "opinion" does not mean the same thing as "validation." When you ask for opinions, you are oftentimes going to find that people disagree with you. That is not a matter of them being rude or mean, that is a matter of them giving you exactly what you asked for.

stina93446 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_white-bridesmaid-dresses-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:20ffd810-e37a-456e-9007-183ff1d7249bPost:bfc43b11-343c-4fe6-b406-229a39bd2ba9">Re: White bridesmaid dresses? What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE] IMO white dresses with blue sashes and shoes would look great.
Posted by symphony4586[/QUOTE]
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes...

sarabear23 · February 2010

I think it would be SO gorgeous. I dont like the idea of a sash, but I think having them in white and you in and off white would be so pretty! And I love the idea of blue shoes

Truthfully, when it comes to clothes , cut is more important than color when it comes down to something being flattering. So even with different size girls, I think you will find something that looks nice on everyone.

megk8oz · February 2010

I'm not going to lie, I never would have picked this for my own wedding, but I'm extremely traditional, so I totally believe "only the bride should wear white" ... so I know that I'm biased on the matter.

I do agree that you'd probably also have better luck with black, just because white dresses tend to be more expensive (Most BM dresses don't even come in white), and you're trying to be "budget-conscious". However, if you do want white and you're ok with your dad having a coniption over, I don't see a real problem with it, aside from your sister's budget. Which, if she can't afford a dress that you like, the right thing to do would be offer to cover her differences.

Aside from that, the only other recommendation I would make is please don't require stilettos. Asking for blue shoes is fine, imo, but requesting they wear stilettos is a little unreasonable. Some people have back and knee issues and really just can't do it without extreme discomfort. Even without pain issues, people really should just be allowed to choose their own shoes.

mags0607 · February 2010

I personally wouldn't ask my girls to wear white, but I wouldn't give you the side-eye if I was at your wedding and saw your BMs in white.

Would the GM be in white suits, or black?

kristi-ji · February 2010

Thank you everyone for your opinions!
I believe I'm struggling so much with my bridesmaid dresses simply because the dominant color in my wedding is white. White and peacock feathers - that and the fact that my bridesmaids are scattered across the country! My sister is driving from ohio to colorado in april and we'll do some scouting at that point - see what looks best outside of the images in my mind and go from there. Who knows? I could be pleasantly surprised to be proven either right or wrong!

Thanks again.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

Could you find a peacock blue color or yellow at Alfred Angelo or David's Bridal? You can tell your girls, "pick out any knee length dress you like in x-color." That would solve the problem of them having different blues.

But I do think your vision will look nice. I'm just more of a traditionalist and *I* don't like wearing white, normally.

aerinpegadrak · February 2010

I've seen lovely peacock weddings where the girls wore various peacock colors. So you could do one girl in teal, one in cobalt, and one in purple, and tie it all together with white flowers. Then you could carry the same flowers, but in the colors of their dresses.

Frankly, if you and these three girls are all okay with white, that's all that matters. Your wedding should be reflective of your style and no one else's. (The girls get a say because, you know, they're the ones who have to actually wear it.) So just because none of us would choose to do white BM dresses doesn't mean you can't.

But please be flexible about the shoes. Perhaps you can say, "I'd love to have you all in blue stilettos, but any blue shoes will be fine." That way they know your preference, but they have an out if they really don't want to go the stiletto route. You don't want any bridesmaids in pain on your wedding day.

stina93446 · February 2010

I had peacock feathers at my wedding and we used teals as accents and the bm dresses were black. You could say that our wedding was black, white, teal, and peacock colored.

mschireman · February 2010

Actually was a really old German? tradition supposedly to "confuse" evil spirits attempting to attack the bride.

I am doing brown and green and considering letting my bridesmaids pick their own style. To prevent color issues I plan on picking 6 or so dresses and letting them pick from that selection

White bridesmaid dresses? What do you think?

Re: White bridesmaid dresses? What do you think?

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