Morning

[Deleted User] · June 2012

Wow, that is crazy, les.

Brandi (I admit I didn't read the article), do you have to be separated for that long in the event of one of the extremes? That would suck. My dad and his ex had the fastest divorce ever. I couldn't believe how quick it all happened (and I was glad, I hated her).

LesPaul · June 2012

I haven't heard of any injuries or deaths, Brandi. There were probably some car accidents. Lots of debris around this morning - tree limbs and dirt in the streets.

LesPaul · June 2012

The scary thing is that we have the same forecast for today.

kd.joseph · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:69e3de78-ead9-41f3-bc83-511fbf90c7f6">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's a photo from the storm last night. The cars are half submerged in a hail drift.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

Holy heck Les!

brandichamberlain · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:fc55e09a-3ba3-45bf-901f-471ea5045c6f">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, that is crazy, les. Brandi (I admit I didn't read the article), do you have to be separated for that long in the event of one of the extremes? That would suck. My dad and his ex had the fastest divorce ever. I couldn't believe how quick it all happened (and I was glad, I hated her).
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

No, not in the case of the extremes. Those you can immediately file divorce. Just if you are separating because of anything else. I realize it isn't for everyone, but we are just funny about divorce for some reason, especially because we come from different backgrounds. His parents are still together (over 30 years) but my Dad has been married 4 times and my Mom 6 times. I think it is because he wants to be like his parents and I don't want to be like mine. KWIM?

[Deleted User] · June 2012

Yeah, I get it. H and I are the opposite. If we get divorced, we want it to be fast so we can just move on with our lives. Both of our parents have had messy divorces multiple times so we want to avoid that as much as possible, if the situation came to it.

LP11509 · June 2012

Holy crap Les. I hope you and your car stay safe today!

Starmusica · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:6c35ca35-01c2-4ff1-a651-dc79191542f2">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]Morning ladies! H will be late again tonight, so I'll probably take the pup another walk. I was hoping last night would wear him out...no such luck. He was very bad last night. And the petsitter took his long lead off his runner and hooked it to the eyebolt on the shed, we didnt realize till he went to take off and we heard god awful yelping, he ran out of lead and just about choked himself to death. He's used to having room and on the clothes line he has some give. Poor baby. Here's hoping today is better. I must have missed something, whats up Koda?
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:968d8a80-723a-4018-aeca-17933291fed0">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : Happy Birthday, Mr. Star! Sorry about your foot, but the work looks awesome!
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

thanks KD- I am a serious klutz!

poor puppy! I am glad he is ok!

acaponi87 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:1ead526e-6fe7-452e-b2fc-b4d42fdb97e8">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : <a href="http://www.nwamarriages.com/premarriedcouples/covenant_marriage_premarried.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.nwamarriages.com/premarriedcouples/covenant_marriage_premarried.php</a> Here is a link to it. <strong>Basically, divorce gets taken off the table unless there are extremes (one spouse commits a felony, abuse, adultery).</strong> You can separate and file for divorce in other cases BUT you have to be living separately and going through counseling for 18 months before you can file.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

Maybe I'm in the minority but isn't that kind how all marriages are supposed to be? Richer or poorer, sickness and health til death do us part?..unless you beat me, molest our children or kill someone type of thing.

Why do you need a special marriage license for that?

celticmyss · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:2ede4611-38ba-4f12-b2ef-57050fff34b1">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]Sesh, my H asked me at 11 months. But, seriously, I knew withn a month or two of meeting him. And I had NEVER felt that immediate connection/bond with anyone before. Our first date was a Sunday around 2pm. He ended up sleeping (yes, sleeping) over and we spent every night together for the next month. We just knew.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

<div>Our relationship was very similar. We'd also both lived with other people in the past and had a pretty clear idea of what we wanted. I regularly stop and go "oh so <em>this </em>is what relationships are supposed to be like!" In previous relationships I had no idea what I was missing. </div><div>
</div><div>I really doubt either of us would have been willing to move so fast if we were younger and didn't have those past experiences. </div>

brandichamberlain · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:0bdfda99-3f67-484b-8215-549adcfaf48d">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : Maybe I'm in the minority but isn't that kind how all marriages are supposed to be? Richer or poorer, sickness and health til death do us part?..unless you beat me, molest our children or kill someone type of thing. Why do you need a special marriage license for that?
Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]

It just enforces it. A lot of states will let you file divorce for something like "Irreconcilable differences" and with this marriage license that isn't an option for us.

LP11509 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:0b443269-a09b-4cd8-8452-ae402373d553">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : It just enforces it. A lot of states will let you file divorce for something like "Irreconcilable differences" and with this marriage license that isn't an option for us.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

<div>But if you believe so strongly against divorce, then you wouldn't file for it regardless of if you are "allowed" to by your marriage license or not. KWIM? I'm not trying to start anything here, I guess I just don't get it.</div>

brandichamberlain · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:026296a0-e8d4-4ea6-877b-c7837177578b">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : But if you believe so strongly against divorce, then you wouldn't file for it regardless of if you are "allowed" to by your marriage license or not. KWIM? I'm not trying to start anything here, I guess I just don't get it.
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]

I get it. It doesn't cost anything additional and we planned to go to premarital counseling anyway so I don't see why not. It was our way to sort of make an extra commitment to ourselves. We aren't trying to keep ourselves from being able to do it as much as show each other we are serious in our beliefs I guess. Does that make more sense?

acaponi87 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:026296a0-e8d4-4ea6-877b-c7837177578b">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : But if you believe so strongly against divorce, then you wouldn't file for it regardless of if you are "allowed" to by your marriage license or not. KWIM? I'm not trying to start anything here,<strong> I guess I just don't get it.</strong>
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]

Agreed. I mean, good for you Brandi for taking that "extra step" but I think it's stupid that the extra step even exists. People should take their vows seriously.

brandichamberlain · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:906b63aa-08c4-4d6e-ad6c-2daef560a1a3">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : I get it. It doesn't cost anything additional and we planned to go to premarital counseling anyway so I don't see why not. It was our way to sort of make an extra commitment to ourselves. We aren't trying to keep ourselves from being able to do it as much as show each other we are serious in our beliefs I guess. Does that make more sense?
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

I can't edit for some reason at work so I just wanted to clarify by the "I get it" comment that I meant your point of view, not as a rebuttle to your "I don't get it".

I went back and it sounded like bad.

LP11509 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:906b63aa-08c4-4d6e-ad6c-2daef560a1a3">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : I get it. It doesn't cost anything additional and we planned to go to premarital counseling anyway so I don't see why not. It was our way to sort of make an extra commitment to ourselves. We aren't trying to keep ourselves from being able to do it as much as show each other we are serious in our beliefs I guess. Does that make more sense?
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

<div>That's great that you want to show each other commitment. I guess for me, it just doesn't really seem necessary for a "special" license to exist for this purpose, because like I said I feel like anyone who is so strongly against divorce wouldn't file for it expect under very severe circumstances anyway. But if it works for you and makes you and your FI feel more committed, then go for it. </div>

LP11509 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:6f78a1e3-33fe-4b25-add4-1dab9fd534b8">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : I can't edit for some reason at work so I just wanted to clarify by the "I get it" comment that I meant your point of view, not as a rebuttle to your "I don't get it". I went back and it sounded like bad.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha, the first time I read it I wasn't sure how you meant it, but when I reread I figured you were just saying you got my POV. No worries!</div>

brandichamberlain · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:54617c7a-6d32-40fc-bb36-2bf1c1cb1472">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : This is exactly why we have a pre-nup. After watching my brother's 3 year divorce, there is no way I'd get married without one.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

I never realized how popular pre-nups are until I came to TK. It never crossed my mind to ever consider it. I didn't realize that it can also be helpful in the event of death as well.

pirategal03 · June 2012

I really don't see any good coming from a legally binding agreement that makes it harder than normal to divorce. Marriage enforces your committment, an "extra" binder doesn't make it an "extraordinary" marriage. I get that you're making an "extra" commitment, but I can just see someone really regretting the extra hassle. I mean, if it comes to divorce, why drag it out on purpose? Do you receive any extra protections (other than your spouse can't divorce you on a whim) with this arrangement?

Also, "extra commitment" seems a lot like "super extraordinary" to me. Let's not add a superlative to a superlative. Marriage is a big deal.

amyb140 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:49cdf6b8-8d08-4fc9-8fdd-f14247769c38">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]Brandi, so you got engaged before you were officially together an entire year? I'm always curious (in a genuine way, not snotty) how people know in a year or less that they want to marry someone. I don't think I would have said yes if H asked me any earlier than he did.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

<div>I know I'm not Brandi, and I usually just lurk, but I'm trying to start participating! </div><div>
</div><div>My H and I were married 11 months and 6 days after we met. We knew within the first month that we would get married. I think part of it is our ages - I was 37 and he was 40 when we met. We had no reason to wait, so we didn't!</div>

Marrin713 · June 2012

Our relationship progression was agonizingly slow (for me anyway). First time I jumped into it with xH - dated 3 months before deciding to get married. And no long engagement for us either; we married within 6 months of the engagement.

Les - that hail storm looks epic. My MiL and SiL are in Denver area; wonder if they got anything.

brandichamberlain · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:cf6fc353-fdb3-4896-b45d-a5f1afbafef2">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]I really don't see any good coming from a legally binding agreement that makes it harder than normal to divorce. Marriage enforces your committment, an "extra" binder doesn't make it an "extraordinary" marriage. I get that you're making an "extra" commitment, but I can just see someone really regretting the extra hassle. <strong> I mean, if it comes to divorce, why drag it out on purpose?</strong> Do you receive any extra protections (other than your spouse can't divorce you on a whim) with this arrangement? Also, "extra commitment" seems a lot like "super extraordinary" to me. Let's not add a superlative to a superlative. Marriage is a big deal.
Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

I suppose to the bolded that we don't see it as much as dragging it out as we do as a reminder (?) in tough times that we made this commitment for a reason. LIke you, we too believe that marriage is a big deal. Like others have said, they would prefer to just get it over with if divorce is decided - and that is a perfectly acceptable thing to do for them. In our relationship, however, we want to be able to commit now, while we are not amongst hard times, to do everything in our absolute power to stay true to our vows. For us that may mean going through counseling. I'm sure people think it is silly to have a piece of paper that has to remind you of that, but I see it more as a safety net. I can't one day in a rash decision just end it. It would have to be very thought out, and the counseling and extra effort to preserve it seemed like the additonal benefit to me. I am not saying that others don't do do everything in their absolute power to stay true to their vows by not having this (and I think you can only get it in 3-4 states anyway) but we are just doing it for us. It was a personal decision and very few are issued from our county each year (we were told this when we got the application for it). It is not by any means popular, but it was just important to us.

brandichamberlain · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:0f2e4cf3-26e0-4da8-b29e-a8805f594260">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : It's not too late ;-) It can cover a HUGE range of things, not just asset protection. It can dictate how finances will be spent during the marriage, how they'll be split, whether alimony will be paid, death, custody, inheritances, retirement savings (401k), etc. Ours is pretty unromantic but I feel safe knowing that we have it.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

I'm a bit uneducated on them so I am curious on if it only covers things you currently have or if you lay out stipulations for the future. For example, we don't currently have children so we don't have any reason to address custody but if we did in the future would we put it in there just in case?

Starmusica · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_morning-104?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d016a0ac-0bba-4179-9a01-03f0869985f4Post:1ead526e-6fe7-452e-b2fc-b4d42fdb97e8">Re: Morning</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning : <a href="http://www.nwamarriages.com/premarriedcouples/covenant_marriage_premarried.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.nwamarriages.com/premarriedcouples/covenant_marriage_premarried.php</a> Here is a link to it. Basically, divorce gets taken off the table unless there are extremes (one spouse commits a felony, abuse, adultery). You can separate and file for divorce in other cases BUT you have to be living separately and going through counseling for 18 months before you can file.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

ok I know that this thread is almost dead but I just have to say....

honestly I think a marriage license like this is taking the easy way out. Any couple who really wants to work on their marriage will. You shouldn't have to contractually obligate yourself to feel confident that you will work through your issues. I honestly don't get this.

And no, this is not at all like a prenup- which deals with financials, property and custody. This reads to me like a contract not to split without trying which shouldn't have to be a contract to begin with.

Morning

Re: Morning

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